


Broken Promises And How To Fix Them

by NachouPala



Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Multi, Thominewt, but drama baby, healthy poly-relationship, it causes trouble, minewt, minewt very fast burn, minho is a pining mess, minho is...minho, newt is a little shithead sometimes but we love him anyway, newt needs a hug, newtmas - Freeform, newtmas fast...burn?, not specifically angst, people are drunk, poly-relationship, some brendersa for the soul, the way to their relationship is a mess but they will turn out fine in the end, they also drink alcohol from time to time, they are sad sometimes i'm sorry, thomas is a bisexual disaster, thomas is painfully oblivious, thominho - Freeform, thominho slow burn, way too many big time rush references, while others are sober
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:23:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 88,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26991352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NachouPala/pseuds/NachouPala
Summary: Thomas and Minho have been best friends for ages. They grew up together, went through thick and thin and are basically insperable at this point.But when a handsome stranger sneakes his way into Thomas' heart, making him break a promise that was made years ago, their friendship is put to a test like never before.
Relationships: Minho/Newt (Maze Runner), Minho/Newt/Thomas (Maze Runner), Minho/Thomas (Maze Runner), Newt/Thomas (Maze Runner), Teresa Agnes/Brenda (Maze Runner)
Comments: 80
Kudos: 98





	1. It's Right Before My Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Minho kicks his best friend’s ass in air hockey, Thomas develops a crush on someone while pretending to use the bathroom and a stuffed animal is denied it’s freedom.

Thomas had fucked up.

But it was different than the times he had fucked up before.

Like the time he forgot Teresa’s birthday, panicked, and proceeded to gift her the exact same mug that she previously gave him on _his_ birthday.

Painfully awkward. But nothing that would end a friendship. By now, his friends were already used to him constantly forgetting things, breaking stuff by accident and just being an overall clumsy, yet lovely dork.

But this was very, _very_ different. Thomas was screwed. Like might-loose-your-best-friend-over-this-screwed. And he realized that just a few seconds after opening his eyes, his naked body covered by sheets way softer than his own and the light in the room being so much more welcoming than the few miserly sunbeams his tiny window usually let through.

Then, there was also the conspicuous fact that there was someone lying next to him. Someone who he really shouldn’t be waking up next to. Like, the _last_ person that he should be with under these circumstances.

The shock must have been written all over him, because the warm smile on the other person’s face suddenly turned into a gentle laugh, voice still rough from his sleep.

“Mornin’ Tommy. Not the usual reaction I receive after a night like this.”

~°~

The whole misery started about three weeks prior, on something most people would consider a normal Friday night. Thomas planned to spend a cosy evening at home after a rather stressful week at university. And he surely would have had a great time re-watching his favourite episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine for the 7th time, if it wasn’t for his best friend storming into his room, face plastered with a mischievous grin.

“You. Me. Arcade. Now.”

It’s not that Thomas really had a choice, with Minho standing there all dressed up and a look on his face that didn’t leave any room for further discussion. It was always like that. Thomas hated that his best friend, who happened to also be his long-term roommate, just decided on what to do, while he had to follow along. Sure, he could have just said no. But somehow, he always ended up enjoying the nights out, even if he didn’t want to admit it. Especially not in front of Minho, who was now already on his way to drag the brunet out of his bed.

“Don’t you have any other friends to annoy?” Thomas swung his legs over the edge of the bed, just in case. Case being that Minho would _literally_ drag him out of his room, which he only did one time before. It’s not something Thomas likes to remember. It involved him being thrown over the stronger boy’s shoulder though and that, for some reason, really offended his honour.

“I sure do and they’re also gonna be there. So dress up, buttercup. Don’t want your ugly face to ruin my beautiful aura.” And with that, Minho was already gone again.

Thomas let out an annoyed groan, making sure that his best friend could still hear it from outside of his room. With a loud yawn he stood up, scratching the back of his head and letting his gaze wander over the floor on the search for something to wear.

Thomas was, to say the least, not the tidiest person. If something wasn’t dirty enough for the washing machine but still not clean enough for the wardrobe, it landed on the floor. He used to put them on the back of his chair, which lead to several almost-heart-attacks in the middle of the night. After the third time he woke up jolting back in fear upon thinking there was someone breaking into his room, Thomas decided the floor was just fine for his clothes. The fact that to break into his room, one had to climb up an unremarkable amount of five floors, didn’t really matter to him.

After carefully choosing his outfit (read: picking the upper items of clothing from the pile without further thought) and putting it on, Thomas threw himself one last look in the mirror on his wall. _Good enough_ he thought to himself and that was neither an understatement nor an exaggeration. It was just that. Good enough. And that could basically be applied to almost every aspect of his life.

His studies at university? Not exactly what he used to dream of as a kid, but good enough.

The relationship with his family? He could definitely visit more often. Or at least call his parents from time to time. He often texted his younger brother though, even when their conversations mostly just consisted of stupid memes. Good enough.

His living situation? His lack of money could only get him as far as sharing a rather cramped flat with Minho. Thomas even got the tinier room, but it was enough. At least he could have some privacy in there. Usually. Definitely not ideal, but good enough.

Living with Minho? That was actually something Thomas enjoyed quiet much. At least most of the time, when he didn’t force him to go out or to watch yet another boring low-budget horror movie with him. (But honestly? Thomas could stand all the predictable jump scares and the sheer endless amount of cheap fake blood when Minho started to comment the events on screen like an overly enthusiastic sports commentator. Now that he came to think of it, he really loved those nights.) And even when the two of them got into pointless fights sometimes, living with his best friend might have been even more than good enough.

Love-life? Ehh. Basically non-existent. Thomas neither saw this as a good nor bad thing. He could easily live his single life without complaints. Even though sometimes on the lonelier nights he really wished for someone to be beside him, telling him stupid jokes, cuddling or, well, just being there. For some reason those ‘lonelier nights’ always seemed to fall on the exact nights Minho went out without him.

When Thomas finally got out of his room, Minho was already standing in the hallway, one shoulder against the wall, grinning at his phone. Upon hearing the younger boy finally making his appearance he looked up, eyeing Thomas’ so called ‘outfit’ with a quiet chuckle.

“Wow, you really outdid yourself today. A black sweater with beige pants? Never seen that on you before!” His sarcasm was met with a heartfelt middle finger thrown in his direction. “Aww come on, you know I love you!” That was just how their dynamic worked. Constant banter with a hint of homoeroticism.

~°~

A freezing twenty-minute walk later, the two best friends arrived at the arcade. It was the middle of October, when the leaves started to turn brown and a thick hoodie just wasn’t enough against the cold wind anymore. The blue neon sign over the entrance of the building casted a soft light on their faces and coloured the puffs of air their breaths would form in front their heads.

What was now the WICKED ARCADE used to be an old run-down warehouse in the outer zone of the city’s industrial park. Then, two years ago, a middle-aged woman bought the place and put an arcade inside which has been one of the more popular places around the area since. And Thomas and his friends definitely were one of the reasons for that, coming here since day one, filling the various gaming machines with money that could have probably been spent more wisely.

“Aw shit! And I thought we could be earlier than you two for once!” One could never miss Brenda’s arrival. She was loud and cheerful; her walk was usually accompanied by a nonchalant swing of her hips. She was tiny but full of energy. And almost the exact opposite of her girlfriend, who made a much calmer appearance right behind her.

“Sweetheart, we _could_ be earlier if it wasn’t for you taking ages to decide what shade of lipstick to wear.” Teresa shot Thomas and Minho an almost apologetical smile. She hated being late. Brenda, on the other hand, was _always_ late. Their friends didn’t understand how the two never fought over this, since it was actually such a big part of Teresa’s personality – always on time, always extremely neat. But for Brenda she seemed to make an expectation.

 _That’s just love, I guess_ , Thomas thought when returning Teresa’s smile while also receiving a warm kiss on the cheek from Brenda.

“Anyone else coming? I’m freezing my freaking ass off.”, Minho exclaimed followed by an underlining shiver. Thomas shot him a teasing grin.

“Not that there’s much to freeze off.”

“Excuse me? My ass is fucking great!”

“Oh my god, guys! Stop it!” Brenda rolled her eyes but couldn’t contain a crooked smile. “ _Besides:_ I have the greatest butt around here. Sorry, babe.” She looked over to said babe, who was currently checking her phone, pretending not to be part of the conversation.

“To answer your question, Minho: Fry is at work, Winston has to study and Gally hasn’t read the messages yet.” She looked up from her phone with a shrug. “Maybe he’ll join later.”

“Eh, whatever. I’ll go inside now.” And before anyone could say anything, Minho already vanished. Not that any of them where going to complain, it was freaking cold after all.

The inside brought a comforting warmth and the familiar noises of air hockey pucks being kicked around and blatant mechanical voices counting your tickets. Colourful lights were flickering everywhere, promising obnoxiously high winning-prices one could probably never obtain anyway.

This place could easily be overwhelming, being too noisy and flashy, but Thomas loved it. It was one of the first spots Minho took him to when the city was still new and foreign to them. _“Let’s check this new place out. Sounds pretty old-school, but it’ll probably be fun anyway.”_ And as always, Minho was proven to be right. Otherwise they wouldn’t be coming here at least every two weeks, sometimes playing pinball until midnight, or just hanging out in the lounge, chatting about all and sundry.

“I was already afraid I wouldn’t see my favourite regulars around here this week.” A woman in her fifties greeted the group of friends with a warm smile. Ava Paige was the owner of the WICKED ARCADE and for some of them even a bigger motherly figure than their actual mums.

Brenda returned her smile with a wide grin. “Nah, we’re up for our usual shenanigans, don’t worry!” And with that, she threw her jacket over the clothes rack, grabbed Teresa’s hand, and pulled her towards the DDR platform.

Thomas and Minho looked at each other, both forming a challenging grin at the same time. They knew exactly what was gonna happen next, it was a stupid little thing they did every time. And even when they both knew, this exact conversation always had to be part of the protocol.

“Loser does the dishes over the course of next week.”

“ _Thomas_. I doubt that you’ll be able to even see them through your tears after my crushing victory!”

And with that, both would dash of to the air hockey tables, ready to fight their vicious battle over the demeaning task of doing the dishes.

Thomas lost. And even though he claimed that Minho cheated by scoring the crucial shot while Thomas was distracted by a group of teens cheering behind him, the taller guy was having none of this ‘bullshit’, as he declared his friends fruitless discussion. The brunet showed his resentment by repeatedly kicking Minho in the shin, who either didn’t notice or at least pretended to.

The four of them were sitting in the dim-lit lounge, drinks and a bowl of snacks on the table in front of them. As always, Brenda was all over Teresa, legs casually thrown over the other girl’s tights like a slouching cat. Minho was sitting just in kick-reach for Thomas, who was starting to drift-off more and more as the minutes went by, not really following any of the conversation that was going on between his friends. He was tired, his week was exhausting and the dim lights were not helping the situation.

Just when his eyes were about to finally fall shut, a rather harsh slap on the knee woke him up from his trance. Thomas jolted up straight, looking at his best friend with wide eyes, which were only met with a shitty grin.

“Aww, is it already past bed-time for little Tom?” Thomas’ cheeks turned a light pink colour, which thankfully couldn’t possibly be seen by any of his friends, who were now chuckling about his unwieldiness. With a sigh he stood up, smiling awkwardly.

“Yeah. I mean no! Just gotta -uh- use the toilet. Be right back.” And with that he was gone. He didn’t actually have to use the bathroom, it was just a panic-reaction to being caught completely off guard. His friends were used to that kind of behaviour, so he could easily get away with being absent for a few minutes. He just needed to walk around for some time and would be good to go again, fighting the upcoming fatigue.

He decided to wander around the back of the arcade, where the machines with various prices were located: Sweets that were probably older than some of the kids pressing their faces against the glass, hoping to finally convince their parents to spare a quarter for a chance to obtain one of the seemingly unattainable goods. iPhones and other Apple-products (Only the originals, of course. What are you thinking?). And the classic: Stuffed animals. Ranging from rather normal teddy bears to some mildly misshaped Disney characters to -god forbid- Minions.

Thomas made a stop in front of one of the machines with a rather usual collection. The contents weren’t actually that bad for this one, different animals in all shapes and colours, but not the cheap looking neon ones. _Huh, they’re actually kinda cute,_ he thought to himself when a teasing voice reached his ears.

“You know that these work solely based on luck, right?”

 _Alright, smartass, how about we-_ , but when Thomas turned around his thoughts were interrupted immediately. He didn’t really know why, but the stranger standing there took his breath away for a second. Thomas was what most people would call a “useless bisexual”, but he could usually tone down on the obvious swooning. That guy over there made it really hard for some reason though.

The stranger seemed to notice Thomas’ sudden state of awe and -to his relief- chose to laugh it off with a soft chuckle.

“Ah come one, what’s that face? Wait ‘til I tell you that Father Christmas isn’t real either.”

“Okay, so first of all, it’s _Santa Claus_. Not whatever British nonsense you just called him.” Thomas crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow and hoping that the way he examined the strange guy wasn’t too obvious.

Standing in front of him was a young man, maybe one or two years older than him. His square jaw was framed by a few blonde strands of hair that seemed to have fallen out of his rather messy bun. Thomas was almost certain that his hair would easily reach his shoulders when open. The grey shirt the stranger was wearing fit his muscular physique perfectly and was accompanied by an orange sweater tied around his waist. But not the obnoxious kind of orange. It reminded Thomas of fall.

“And second of all?”

“Huh?” The brunet let his gaze dart up to the strangers face again, trying not to look too caught. He couldn’t really tell if it was working, since the guy let out another chuckle, a bit more scoffing this time.

“You said ‘first of all’. What’s the ‘second of all’?”

_Why am I like this? Why am I like this? Why am I like this?_

“Uh- second of all…” Thomas tried to stay cool while recovering what they were talking about beforehand. And the strangers deep dark eyes weren’t exactly helpful. God, why did he notice those things? “Second of all! I sure as hell know that these things don’t work. I’ve been coming here for years and only saw people win one like five or six times.” He nodded as to underline his point, even though it wasn’t really necessary.

The stranger regarded him with a slow nod and a small grin, that Thomas couldn’t designate. “So, you come here often? All by yourself?”

_Is he flirting with me? Oh my god, is he flirting with me??_

“Uh yeah, pretty frequently.” Quickly, he added: “And I’m not alone, like some loser. All alone at the arcade.” Why did he say that? He didn’t know either. He just felt like he needed to fill every possible space of silence so the handsome stranger wouldn’t leave.

The guy tilted his head, regarding Thomas with a crooked smile. “That makes me a loser in your eyes then?”

If Thomas could, he would have disappeared off the face of the earth immediately. And never come back. Instead, he just felt the heat rising in his cheeks and heard some stammered apologetical words coming out of his mouth. _Great job._

After what seemed like the longest second of his life, he finally managed to form some actual words. “No! Hell no, I’m sorry! I don’t even know why I said that! You’re definitely not a loser! I mean, I haven’t really known you for that long, but you really don’t seem like one. Ah- sorry!” Something deep inside him told him to just _shut the fuck up already,_ which thankfully he did, because the stranger grew a more and more concerned look on his face with every word spoken.

He relieved the tension just two beats later, when he broke into a laugh that sent a wave of heat through Thomas’ chest. “It’s alright, mate. The loser’s name is Newt, by the way. How about you?”

 _Yeah, I’m also a loser,_ Thomas thought to himself before answering the actual question. Newt smiled at the mention of his name, nodding like he was trying to take it in as accurately as possible.

“Thomas, then. You here with your girlfriend?” The question kind of threw the younger one off course.

“No, I’m with some friends. What makes you think I have a girlfriend?”

Newt let out an amused huff, then proceeded to put two fingers on Thomas’ jaw, turning his head gently. His fingertips were soft and warm, sending yet another heatwave through the brunet’s body, spreading from the point where Newt touched his skin.

“Well, you’ve got lipstick stains on your cheek.” He raised his eyebrows with a gentle smile. “Sorry, could also be a boyfriend or partner of course. I don’t judge.” His fingers lingered on Thomas jaw for another heartbeat before he let go again.

Thomas felt like he might faint on the spot. He didn’t actually know if it came from the fact that Newt, a total stranger, touched him in intimate ways like that or from the other fact, that none of his friends felt the need to tell him that there had been a dark red lipstick stain on his left cheek the whole night.

Either way, he was embarrassed. Which was a feeling he should have been used to by now, but this felt different. For some unknow reason, he wanted Newt to like him. Maybe he even to impress him. And up until now, he had failed miserably. Thomas scrunched his nose, rubbing the stain off his cheek frantically.

“That was just Brenda. She’s pretty affectionate with everyone.”

“So, you’re single then?” Another one of those piercing questions that threw Thomas off. Though Newt was able to ask them in a way so it didn’t feel like he was completely invading one’s privacy.

“Uhh yeah.” He didn’t know what else to say, but Newt seemed to be waiting for more to come. “You?” It wasn’t the most elaborate thing to say, but it was _something_ at least.

The blond just gave a short nod as an answer, then proceeded to push himself past Thomas, wrapping his hand around the younger boy’s wrist an turning him around with him in the process.

“Anyway,” he exclaimed while letting go of Thomas and tapping on the glass of the machine with his knuckles. “Let’s make a deal. You’ll try your luck on this bloody thing and if you manage to get one of these little fellas out, I’ll give you my number.”

_Oh shit, he’s actually flirting with me._

To everyone’s surprise, Thomas managed to answer without a stutter this time. “What makes you think I want your number?”

Newt let out a snort and regarded his new acquaintance with a crooked grin. “Thomas, come on. You really think I didn’t notice the looks you threw me earlier?” He ignored the redness colouring Thomas’ cheeks and looked back at the pile of stuffed animals, ready to be freed from their merciless cage.

The blond rummaged through his back pocket and finally pulled out a one dollar note with a pleased grin. “Here ya go.” It took him three tries until he finally managed to put the crinkly note into the predestined slot. The machine lit up with a promising jingle and Newt’s face got illuminated with a soft green light.

Thomas examined him with a sceptical look and couldn’t seem to miss the fact that Newt was, well, pretty fucking handsome. And getting his number actually didn’t sound like a bad thing at all. He doubted that his chances to win were too high though, because like Newt said earlier: This was based on luck only. It didn’t matter how you positioned the claw, if it actually grabbed something was determined by sheer coincidence. Maybe he was lucky tonight, and if not, he at least had a nice good old flirt with a stranger. That hadn’t happened in a long time.

With a doubtful sigh, Thomas stepped forward, wrapping his fingers around the joystick, and scanning the contents of the machine.

“Alright, which one do you want?”

“Which one do you like?”

“Can you answer a question without a counterquestion?”

Newt chuckled at this remark, looking over at Thomas with a teasing grin. “Okay, I’ll guess then. You seem like the type of guy who likes dogs. And your favourite colour iiiis…” He looked Thomas in the eyes, tilting his head just a bit. “Orange?”

“Yeah, how do you know that?” That was a lie. Sure, Thomas liked dogs, but were they his favourite animal? He never put too much thought into that, he liked most animals equally. Expect for spiders, which he hated with his guts.

And his favourite colour was blue, actually. But now that he thought about it, orange wasn’t so bad either. He didn’t know why he lied. It just came out of his mouth naturally and he felt too embarrassed to correct his answer. It was worth the almost childish smile that appeared on Newt’s face though, he decided.

“Pure luck! Hope you have the same amount of luck when getting me that orange dog over there.” Newt illustrated his statement by pressing one finger against the glass, pointing at the object of desire.

Thomas followed his gaze and nodded, taking a deep breath and going in concentrate-mode. He carefully manoeuvred the claw over the pile, adjusting it until he felt like he actually might have a chance at getting that stupid little dog out of there.

“Alright buddy, let’s release you into the wilderness!” He was ready to smash the button that let down the claw but stopped right before hitting it and looked over to Newt, who stood there with a content smile on his face. “Do you want to press it?”

Newt looked up at him, a bit confused, before noticing Thomas’ hand hovering over the red button. “Let’s just do it together. Maybe that’s extra luck.” Without further ado, he brushed his fingers over Thomas’, gently pressing both their hands down on the button.

Thomas almost pulled back out of reflex but could contain himself at last. Trying to ignore the almost burning sensation on top of his fingers, he watched the claw go down in anticipation. Another thing he unsuccessfully tried to ignore was the fact, that Newt drew out the touch way longer than necessary.

The claw went down, carefully grabbing the stuffed dog. The two young men held their breathes, before letting out an annoyed grown at the same time when the toy fell out of the loose grip.

“Well then, Tommy. Better luck next time.” Newt shot him a smile. And Thomas wasn’t sure if it was his exhausted mind playing tricks on him, but there might have been a tang of disappointment in the blond’s dark eyes. Before any of them could say another thing, they were interrupted by a voice, this time familiar to Thomas.

“Here you are! We’re leaving, Tom. Can you-“ Teresa stopped mid-sentence when she noticed the stranger standing next to her best friend. Almost too close to actually be a stranger. She tilted her head, curious to gain more information about the blond boy. But her hopes were crushed immediately when Thomas stood up straight, an apologetical grin on his face.

“Yeah uh- sorry! I’m on my way.” He looked over his shoulder to face Newt and somehow it almost made him feel sad to leave this handsome stranger alone. They had a good time after all, even if it was short. “See you around?”

Newt gave him a gentle smile. “Hopefully.”

~°~

Thomas could sense the millions of questions Teresa wanted to ask but held back to his surprise. Maybe she didn’t want to expose him in front of Minho and Brenda, who were already waiting at the exit, ready to leave. And even _if_ Teresa had asked all these questions bubbling inside her, Thomas wasn’t quite sure if he could answer any of them.

He didn’t know who Newt was.

He didn’t know where he came from or where he would head for the rest of the night.

Hell, he didn’t even know if they would ever see each other again.

There was only one thing he knew, a slow realization that came to him long after he went to bed, not being able to sleep despite being tired all evening.

Newt did something to him. And whatever it was, it was a new feeling to Thomas. A feeling, that made him feel like a naïve teenage girl in one of those shitty rom-coms Teresa liked to watch (even though she didn’t like to admit it).

A feeling, that maybe the lack of a ‘love-life’ wasn’t as bearable as he thought it was.

A feeling, that maybe _good enough_ just wasn’t enough for him anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello and welcome to my first fanfic in ages! i hope you enjoyed the first chapter so far. please note that i'm not a native english speaker, so there might be some (a lot of?) mistakes in there. feel free to correct me on any of them, i'm eager to improve my english skills!
> 
> i will try to upload a new chapter every week, but if uni work takes over it might take longer! thanks in advance for your patience.


	2. Next To You Is Where I Should Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Thomas compares Newt to a toaster, Minho makes a bomb-ass sandwich and the boys watch The Best Show Ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's a lot of big time rush content in here, brace yourself.  
> you will also learn a lot more about the relationship between minho and thomas.
> 
> tw // mentions of homophobia (not much, but it's there)

The longer Thomas thought about it, the more stupid he felt.

Crushing on a stranger he talked to for merely ten minutes? That made him seem kind of pathetic.

So, when he got out of bed the next morning, he decided not to think about Newt - no - _the literal stranger_ any longer, since it would do nothing but harm anyway. He was certain that they would never cross paths again, so there was really no sense in obsessing over him.

Besides, Thomas had better and more important things to do. His last year at university had just started and he really had to focus if he wanted good grades. Not that he was a bad student; if anything, he was actually one of the best in his year, thanks to the hours of studying he got done almost every day.

Minho loved to tease him about it, calling him a ‘fucking dweeb’ under his breath every time he walked by Thomas hunching over his laptop at the kitchen table.

Sometimes, when Thomas was lucky, his friend would cut up an apple and a banana for him, put it all on a small plate and place it down next to him with a silent grunt that probably said _You are stupid but I care about you a lot, so eat your fucking fruits._

And Thomas usually wouldn’t notice at first, sometimes the apple slices would have already turned a slightly brown colour on the edges when his eyes finally landed on them. But it never failed to put a small smile on his face. It made him feel loved. Minho, a self-declared cold-hearted bitch, made him feel loved.

Stumbling out of his room, sleeping wear still on, Thomas couldn’t let his mind get off the handsome stranger from last night, besides his resolution not to think about him anymore.

What was it about him that made Thomas question his outlook on life? Yes, Newt was handsome. And nice. And flirty. But what made Thomas think that that guy wasn’t like that with every other person he met? Maybe he was just one of many casual flirts. For some reason, that thought stung.

Thomas was put out of his Newt-centred thoughts by a bathroom door nearly being slammed into his face. He stared at Minho with wide eyes, who seemed just as surprised to see him there. Thomas blinked a few times, snapping out of the daze he was in until now.

“Please tell me you’re wearing something down there.”

Minho gave him a wide grin in return, crossing his arms over his naked chest. “You wish.”

His hair was wet, droplets of water dripping down some single strands of hair. And he was in fact, _wearing something down there_ , as Thomas noticed when he couldn’t stop his eyes from looking down on his best friend.

“Sexy choice of towel, I must say. Really compliments your eyes.” Minho had owned that ugly blue bath towel with the seagulls since Thomas knew him. Which was a long time, given that they’ve met each other in freshmen year of high school.

“Shut up, dude. I still look better than you in _any_ outfit. Now stop staring at my abs and do whatever you have to do in there.”

And Thomas did whatever he had to do in there. When he came back, freshly showered and with a new fit of clothes, Minho was already sitting at the table of their tiny kitchen. He looked up when he heard his friend enter.

“Got us some fresh bagels on my morning run, you’re welcome.” He slid a plate over to Thomas, who just sat down on the opposite of the table, now eyeing the baked good suspiciously. It was his favourite, scrambled eggs with cheese melted on top. He looked up at Minho with a smile, but his eyebrows were still drawn together questioningly. 

“Do you have to tell me something? You are being… _too_ nice.” Minho laughed in response, raising an eyebrow and tilting his head slightly.

“What? I can’t do something nice for my best friend in the whole world?”

“Oh, there’s _definitely_ something you want to tell me.” He had known Minho for years; they were able to understand the other without even having to talk.

He knew when Minho needed time alone by the way he slightly raised his shoulders when walking. Minho knew that when Thomas suddenly stopped fiddling around with whatever was in reach, he was deeply lost in thoughts. And it usually only took him a soft clear of his throat to get his friends attention back.

Thomas conclusion was met with a crooked grin, as the black-haired boy cocked his head to the side curiously. “Teresa told me something about last night.”

 _Here it goes,_ Thomas thought while letting down his hand holding the bagel he was just about to eat. He let out a deep sight, throwing Minho a displeased look before looking back down at his hand.

“There isn’t much she could have possibly told you, because nothing happened,” he said, finally chomping down on his bagel to avoid having to talk about it anymore.

“Sure.” Minho nodded, pursing his lips to hold back the grin hiding behind them. “Just you meeting a handsome stranger, nothing out of the ordinary.”

“Wait, she said he was handsome??” Thomas looked up with a puzzled look on his face, already regretting it when he saw Minho break into a malicious laugh. It actually was a valid concern though, since Thomas knew exactly that Teresa wasn’t into guys. Not one single bit.

“Well, it’s not _exactly_ what she said. But she mentioned that he was your type.”

“I don’t’ have a fucking type!”

“He had strong arms.” That, and the knowing grin on his best friend’s face, made Thomas shut up. He took another bite of his bagel, munching on it with an annoyed look. It was extremely delicious after all, which made Thomas ease up a little. Minho’s insistent stare wouldn’t get off him though and Thomas knew too well that his best friend wouldn’t let go if he didn’t say anything.

“Alright! He started flirting with me and we chatted for a bit, but that’s it! It’s not like I’m gonna meet him again anyway! And why did Teresa tell you in the first place, she only saw him for like a minute?” He always started talking too much when he was nervous.

Minho just gave it a half-hearted shrug while chewing on his own bagel - bacon and cream cheese. “She said she’s concerned for you.”

“Concerned? For _me_?”

“Yeah smartass, that’s what I just said.” Thomas rolled his eyes at that, and also at Teresa’s behaviour. Why did she feel the need to be concerned about him meeting new people? He was certainly old enough and it was not like she was his mum or big sister. Even though sometimes he saw her as exactly that – an older sister. Annoying at times, but always caring and someone he could count on.

These two had been through thick and thin together, Thomas knew her even longer than Minho. He helped her come out to her conservative family, being there when she hid in the woods behind her house after one of the worst nights of her life. Wiping away her tears, holding her and promising that everything would be alright.

Now that he thought of it, he couldn’t really be mad at her. But still, out of all the people she could have told, she chose Minho? Maybe that was some kind of revenge for him not giving her more information about Newt. But really, what was there to give? Thomas didn’t know anything about him and vice versa. It was time to stop thinking about him for real. That was Thomas’ task for today, which he was more than eager to fulfil.

~°~

To everyone’s surprise, Thomas actually managed to forget about Newt for some time. After breakfast he had dragged Minho to the library, since they both had assignments to finish and he noticed that his best friend had been slacking off over the course of the last weeks. Minho on the other hand reassured him that he was just overreaction and generally ‘panicking too much’.

“Look, Thomas,” he had said, “This is our last year of University, so we might as well have some fun on the way!”

Thomas sometimes wished he could be as laid back as Minho, who - despite is his much more eased outlook on the situation - always managed to score good grades anyway. It had driven Thomas mad at one or the other occasion, when he had studied his ass off just for Minho to overshadow him in the end.

They actually managed to get some shit done at the library and when they got home later that evening, Thomas was filled with a rewarding feeling of productivity.

Minho threw his backpack in the corner of their kitchen, a familiar sight to Thomas. He had complained about it at the beginning of their time living together, but now it was just one of the many things that made this place feel like home.

Just like the picture of Jason Momoa that Minho printed out in bad quality and stuck on the wall next to their bathroom mirror, because Thomas kept talking about the actor’s strong arms non-stop after seeing Aquaman.

Or the poor houseplant on the windowsill in their kitchen, where Thomas couldn’t remember for the literal life of it how long it had been dead.

And let’s not forget about the hall light that had been flickering since _the incident;_ involving two bored roommates, a volleyball and a rainy day.

Thomas had already stored his own belongings in his room. Yes, he was messy. But he liked to keep his mess in his private space. He sat down at the table, stretching his arms above his head with a pleased grumble.

“Hey! Get off your lazy ass and help me make dinner!”

“Oh, we cookin’ tonight?” Thomas threw his best friend a small grin, being way too exhausted from the day out to be bothered about actually preparing something to eat. It was the good kind of exhaustion though, the one where you feel like you actually achieved something throughout the day.

Minho rolled his eyes at him, already opening the fridge and searching for something that would make for a satisfying dinner. The scrunch of his nose told Thomas that his search had been unsuccessful.

“Alright, time for Minho’s Special Sandwich of Doom then,” the black-haired boy said while slamming the fridge door shut. “Thomas!” He turned around to point at his best friend with a grin. “You’re in onion charge!”

“I hate being in onion charge!”

Minho grinned. “I know.”

With a dramatic sigh, Thomas stood up, walking over to the big bowl in which they stored all their fruits and veggies. Which, to be fair, wasn’t a lot right now. He grabbed an onion, making sure to throw Minho a dissatisfied glare while doing so. But the other boy was already occupied with rummaging through the kitchen counter, in search for a pan.

Thomas stepped beside him, bumping their hips together playfully. “Move your fat ass over, would you? I’ve got some onions to cut.” Their kitchen was _very_ small, so it was actually a valid complaint. But Minho didn’t seem to mind, bumping back with more force.

“Well there was enough space before _you_ came around. So I suppose that _your_ ass is the actual problem here.”

“Hey! My ass is fine!”

Minho looked at him sceptically, leaning back a bit to get a better look at Thomas’ butt.

“Huh. Have seen better. Ouch!” The sudden cry was caused by Thomas, who had slapped the back of his roommates’ head with a mischievous grin.

“Shut up and make us those stupid sandwiches already!” He didn’t actually think they were stupid. The reality was that he loved them, even when they made your breath bad for at least two days and gave you a stomach ache if you were unlucky.

He didn’t know when and how Minho came up with this recipe from hell, and now that he thought about it, he actually didn’t want to either.

Thomas finally pulled out a cutting board and a knife, beginning to peel the onion and cutting it into rings. Meanwhile, Minho put some oil in a pan, heating it up and adding all kinds of spices.

Thomas remembered the time he tried to make Minho’s Special Sandwich of Doom on his own, but it just wasn’t the same. His best friend knew at heart how much of each spice to add and food always tastes better when someone else makes it for you anyway.

When Thomas was done with cutting the onions (he only had to sniff twice) and putting them in the pan, Minho was already gathering the missing ingredients - toast, chipotle sauce, cheese, ham, one (1) lettuce leaf for each sandwich (to make it look more healthy) and the second most important ingredient: potato chips. ‘For the crunch’, as Minho liked to say in his defence.

While the onions were frying, Thomas set the table and then proceeded to sit down again. The rest was up to Minho.

While the latter was preparing everything, Thomas unlocked his phone and went to check Instagram, scrolling through the tag of their city mindlessly. His thoughts were back to Newt. And the fact that he might find his face on one of the many posts. So much about ‘trying to forget about the handsome stranger’.

Was this weird? Hoping to find someone you met for only a few minutes on social media? What would he do if he found him anyway? Slide into his DMs like ‘hey we talked at the arcade for ten minutes last night and somehow i can’t stop thinking about u so i scrolled through instagram for three hours to find u, wanna meet up again?’. 

That actually sounded like one of the better plans Thomas ever had.

“Stop the stalking, dinner’s ready!” Thomas jumped at the sudden callout and closed his phone immediately, throwing it on the table a bit too harshly. Minho looked at him with one raised eyebrow, two plates in his hands and a telling grin on his face. “Caught you?”

“Shut up, Minho!” But the bright red colour of Thomas’ cheeks gave him away, earning him an even shittier grin from his roommate, who finally put down the plate with the sandwich in front of Thomas.

“Are you trying to find your soon to be boyfriend on there?” Minho sat down, immediately grabbing his sandwich to take a huge bite.

“He’s no- I’m not-!”

“Yeah fure.”

“Don’t speak with your mouth full!!”

“Fuf up, you’re not my mom.”

Thomas’ miserable attempt to change the subject had failed, because Minho continued the teasing right after he swallowed down his bite.

“Come on Thomas, I’ve known you for some time. I can tell that you’re still thinking about that dude from yesterday. What’s up with that? I thought it was more of a casual flirt?”

The brunet let out a deep sigh. He knew just too well that Minho, once again, wouldn’t let go.

“I don’t know, man. I really don’t okay?” He sunk down lower in his chair, looking at his friend with a helpless expression. “I can’t get him out of my head, it’s almost annoying. I just want to forget about him, I really do. But the more I try to forget, the more I seem to think about him.” Another sigh. Thomas ran his hand through his already messy hair, placing it on top of his eyes afterwards. “I don’t know.”

Minho looked at him with the sandwich still in his hands, blinking slowly at the sudden outburst of emotion. He had noticed throughout the whole day that Thomas wasn’t acting quite like himself, and that it was the stranger taking up this boy’s whole mind actually didn’t surprise him that much.

Thomas had always been someone who fell for the most inconvenient people. And when he fell for those, he fell hard. Minho would never forget the months of his best friend obsessing over a girl that was about to move to Europe. A lot of tears had been shed that summer. Each one caught by Minho.

Letting out a silent huff, the boy put his meal back down on the plate.

“So,” he finally answered, folding his hands under his chin. “You are telling me that you’re crushing on a guy you talked to for five minutes?” His voice didn’t have a scolding or judging undertone. If anything, it sounded almost curious.

“No.” Thomas looked down, scrunching his nose in shame. “It was…at least ten minutes.”

“Oh my fucking god, Thomas.” And there was the judgement. Minho shook his head in disbelief. Why, out of all the people in this world, was he the one to end up with the most useless bisexual best friend on earth?

Said best friend now looked up at him, a reproachful expression on his face. “Don’t judge me! It’s not like I have any control over stuff like this!” He looked down again, grabbing his sandwich this time and taking a bite. And again, Minho was saved from Thomas anger by delicious food.

“Yeah sure. But damn, that’s quick, even for you. And he didn’t give you his number or anything?”

Thomas rolled his eyes. “Like I said. We met for _ten minutes_.”

“Does he go there often?”

“Oh my god Minho, it’s not like I tried that cheesy pick-up-line on him!”

Minho sighed at that, rolling his eyes. “I mean did you see him there before?” Thomas only shook his head, digging into his sandwich again with a defeated frown. “Well, that’s not ideal.”

“It’s horrible!” No, Thomas wasn’t being overdramatic. At all. “Tell me, why can’t I fall for someone in my reach for once? It’s always got to be complicated in one way or another.” For once, Minho’s look actually showed some kind of pity for the brunet boy.

“Alright Thomas, there’s only one way to get rid of your problem.”

His friend looked at him with a hint of hope in his eyes, but his voice still sounded sceptical. “Which would be?”

“We’ll make you forget about him!”

Thomas sighed, almost disappointed. “Great. How exactly are we gonna do that?”

The wide grin spreading on Minho’s cheeks left Thomas with a bad feeling, which was completely turned around when his friend continued his proposal.

“Finish up your Special Sandwich of Doom, we’re watching Big Time Rush!”

~°~

None of them could really remember _why_ they started watching _Nickelodeon’s Finest Sitcom,_ as Thomas liked to call it. The thing they knew though was that they couldn’t stop watching it if their life depended on it.

They both agreed that the show held up pretty well and at that point they weren’t even ashamed to admit that they were absolutely obsessed with it. Even though Brenda loved to tease them about it, they stopped caring long ago.

Due to the lack of a proper couch, or even a living room at that, they huddled up on Minho’s bed, which wasn’t the widest but still a better option than Thomas’ single. Blankets covered their bodies; pillows were propped against the wall so they could sit comfortably.

Minho’s laptop was balanced on his tights, making Thomas have to sit as close to his best friend as possible if he wanted to see anything. None of them had any problem with that. They’ve always been close, emotionally and physically.

They had sat next to each other on their first day of high school, none of them knowing any of the other students. And since then, Minho and Thomas basically never left each other’s side.

Thomas helped Minho confess to his first crush, third-wheeled their long lasting relationship of an astounding amount of four weeks and three days, and proposed the _amazing_ idea to throw rotten eggs at her house when she broke up with his best friend because ‘Sorry, but Ben is way cuter than you!’. And their masterplan almost succeeded, if Minho’s mom hadn’t found the nasty smelling pack of eggs in the boy’s closet.

Needless to say, they got grounded. Which didn’t stop them from seeing each other after all, since Minho was a great climber and there was ivy growing right up to the window of Thomas’ room. They would spend the whole night playing video games, almost getting caught again because they couldn’t contain their laughs and giggles.

When Thomas came out to Minho in ninth grade, both of them hanging out in their secret spot in one of the abandoned building at the edge of their small town, the other boy just gave it a shrug. He told Thomas that he had similar feelings and that he actually didn’t care about the gender at all. They would later figure out that Minho was pansexual, after some research on Tumblr. Good old times.

Somehow, Thomas managed to be the class clown and the top of the class simultaneously. Former due to Minho, latter thanks to Teresa, who basically forced him to join her study group (that, to be quite honest, wasn’t really a group since it only consisted of these two).

Teresa would sometimes join the two boys on their adventures, exploring the woods or conquering another derelict building that was definitely not safe for a bunch of teenagers to roam around in. She was always the scared - she preferred the term _cautious_ \- one, so often times she would just wait outside, ready to call an ambulance in case one of the boys would get hurt. Which, as by some miracle, never happened.

The girl preferred the afternoons at Thomas’s, when she would help Thomas and Minho with their homework and totally crush them at Mario Kart afterwards.

Or the sleepovers filled with giggles over stupid things and talks about their crushes until deep into the night. It happened more than once that they found out that two of them were crushing on the same person. In that case they would always make a promise that none of them would try to go out with said person, so it was a fair game.

And that promise was never broken, by any of them.

The day they all found out that they would be attending the same university was one of the happiest days in their lives. Minho and Thomas arrived at Teresa’s door at the same time, pulling her into the biggest group hug when she finally opened after they rang the bell for at least 20 times in excitement. Tears were shed.

Originally, the three of them wanted to live together. But that plan was interfered by Teresa’s parents, who thought it would be way too expensive to live in an own apartment and stuck her into one of the nasty dorms instead. The fact that that way, she would be constantly surrounded by girls only came into their minds once she met her now-girlfriend Brenda there. Take that, homophobic parents!

Who knows, maybe if things went differently Teresa would also be crammed onto Minho’s bed watching _The Best Show Ever_ with them. She also wouldn’t have her sweet and bubbly girlfriend though, and Thomas and Minho knew exactly just how good Brenda was for her.

As the iconic intro started blurting at almost full volume, Thomas could finally relax, leaning more against Minho. He was right, forgetting about Newt was probably the best thing he could do. 

No, not Newt. _The stranger_. He had to stop calling him by his name. If he named things, he would get attached. Like the time he named their trusty toaster ‘Peter’ and almost cried when they had to throw it out.

Thomas realized that this kind of comparison was kind of tactless since Newt was…well. A living being and not a device you had to swap every few years. But maybe that could help him bring some sense into this whole situation.

It didn’t help at all.

If anything, he now felt bad for comparing the handsome stranger to an old stinky toaster they bought off their local Goodwill for five dollars. An old stinky toaster that almost burned their apartment down, mind you.

Well, Thomas didn’t know about the stranger’s background, but he was pretty sure he wasn’t going to commit arson.

At least he hoped so.

But it didn’t matter, they weren’t going to see each other again anyway, right?

Right??

Thomas was pulled out of his spiralling thoughts by Minho laughing about something happening on screen, shaking Thomas’ body in the process.

Right, the show.

Thomas let out an inaudible sight, putting his head down on Minho’s shoulder to see better. It didn’t take the four boys on screen long to make Thomas forget about his troubles and laugh alongside his best friend.

The show was going on for some time until Minho talked again in a lowered voice. “You know, I used to make fun of the girls in school for obsessing over those boybands.”

Thomas chuckled softly but turned it into a fake-shocked gasp quickly. “What? Even Big Time Rush??”

“Especially Big Time Rush!” The boy turned his head a bit to get a better look at Thomas. “I always told them they were gay.”

Thomas blinked at him. Then at the screen. Then back at him.

“Excuse me? Have you seen the way Logan looks at Kendall? 100% baby gays, still in the closet!” Minho shook his head, laughing.

“Hey, I’ll tell you a secret.” He looked back at his laptop with a small smile on his face. “When I got home after school when you had band practice and my parents weren’t home yet, I actually turned on the TV just to watch this stupid show.”

The brunet looked at him, a mixture of surprise and amusement on his face.

“For real? Mister Oh So Hetero watched one of the gayest shows on Nickelodeon?” A grin formed on his face, that was immediately rewarded with a soft punch in the arm.

“First of all, I already knew that I wasn’t straight at that point! I just didn’t have a name for it.” Minho raised his eyebrows, leaning his head to the side slightly, Thomas’ messy hair already tickling his cheek. “Second of all, I thought it was funny. And nothing else was on anyway, I could choose between Horseland and this. What sounds gayer to you, huh?”

“Lemme think.” Thomas put his index finger on his chin, pretending to think really hard while not being able to hide the grin that was trying to escape. “A young boy watching a show centred around a bunch of good-looking teenage boys _definitely_ sound so much straighter than him watching a show full of pretty girls.”

“Oh shut up, smartass.” Minho rolled his eyes once again but couldn’t contain a smile either way. His head was now fully resting on Thomas’s, leaving both the boys in a comfortable position.

Thomas was really glad that the two of them were comfortable enough to be this close. He had always been someone who valued physical affection and with Minho it had never felt weird. Sometimes he even let Thomas sit on his lap in public if there weren’t enough chairs, not giving a single fuck about the weird looks some people would throw at them.

Minho was someone who didn’t care about other people’s opinion in general, another thing Thomas admired about him. Thomas was an overthinker with an impulsive tendency, which isn’t the best of combinations. But when Minho was around, it always gave him some sense of security.

“Wait, was it Kendall you used to have a crush on?”

“Huh?” Thomas turned his head upwards slightly to shoot Minho a confused look, before realizing what the black-haired boy had asked. “Uh, yeah,” he finally answered looking back at the screen where the leader of the group was talking about something Thomas didn’t know any context about. Why did he always have to get lost in thoughts?

Minho nodded slowly in an approving gesture. “That’s what I thought. He seems like your type.”

“My type? His arms aren’t _that_ strong, you know?”

“Okay, let me make a list real quick.” Minho raised his hand, putting up his index finger to count. “He’s blond.”

That wasn’t particularly wrong. Thomas _did_ prefer blond hair in men, but he wasn’t too averse to darker tones either. Especially black hair was pretty sexy in his opinion.

Raising a second finger, Minho continued: “He’s the leader type, knows what he wants and always makes sure everyone around him is okay before worrying about himself.”

Thomas chuckled softly and looked up to his friend. “And I thought _I_ was the one who had a crush on Kendall.” The fact that Minho was completely right couldn’t be denied. Thomas was absolutely weak when it came to caring personalities.

He wasn’t really sure of what he wanted in a relationship; he wasn’t sure about a lot of things. But he knew that he wanted to be with someone who cared about him as much as he would about them. Someone he would feel save with.

Yet again, his thoughts were interrupted by Minho, who was now putting up a third finger. “He’s funny.”

“C’mon, that’s a total cop-out! Who doesn’t want a partner who’s funny?”

His best friend laughed, now raising both hands in defence. “Okay, you got me! But my point still stands.” He settled back into the comfortable position they were in before Minho started to expound his observations on Thomas’ preferences.

From that point on, they just kept watching in comfortable silence, merely the voices from the laptop and they boys’ occasional laughers filling the air. But Thomas noticed how he grew more tired with every passing scene and when Minho finally spoke up again, almost too silent to be heard over the singing on screen, the brunet was almost asleep.

“You know, I always had a crush on Carlos. Thought his mole was cute.”

 _Huh, that’s funny_ , Thomas thought before sleep took over. _I have a mole in almost the same spot._

Thomas and Minho both woke up with a stiff pain in their necks. It hadn’t been the first time the boys fell asleep sitting next to each other while watching a movie or show, and it probably wouldn’t be the last time either.

The power of Minho’s old laptop had run out a long time ago. It was also tilted slightly to the side, since it had slid down the boy’s tights in his sleep. The reflection of its screen showed two very sleepy, very grumpy boys.

“Fucking hell, why does this keep happening,” Thomas stated in a mumbly voice. He sat up slowly, raising his arms above his head and stretching his stiff neck with an unsatisfied look on his face. His left cheek was covered in red streaks, left there by Minho’s shirt.

The other boy didn’t feel the need to answer his friends rhetorical question, letting out a painful groan instead. With an overdramatic sigh, he let himself fall to the side, burying his face into the pillow.

Thomas gave his best friend a fond smile, which he didn’t see anyway, but returned to a rather pained expression again.

“Watcha want for breakfast, Min?”

A muffled grumble made its way through the thick fabric of the pillow.

“Coffee and cornflakes then?”

The grumble sounded much more approving this time, making a faint grin appear on Thomas’ face.

“Alright, I think I can handle that.”

When Thomas stumbled out of bed, almost getting caught in the sheets tangled around one of his legs, he thought about how he still had an assignment to finish today.

When Thomas made his way to the kitchen, scratching his lower back and letting out a good yawn, he thought about how they also had to go grocery shopping today.

When Thomas rummaged through the upper cabinets in search for the instant coffee, he thought about how he hated going to the grocery store on Sundays, since everyone and their dog seemed to go at this time.

When Thomas stood in front of the kettle, staring at it if this would make the water boil faster, he thought about how much he wished for a Big Time Rush reunion.

When Thomas put their breakfast on the table, calling for Minho to ‘finally get his ass out of bed’, he thought about nothing at all.

And as Thomas went on with his day, he didn’t even realize that not a single one of his thoughts went to the handsome stranger from Friday night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did anyone get the big time rush reference in the title??
> 
> also please let me know if any of you try Minho's Special Sandwich of Doom


	3. Let Me Occupy Your Mind (As You Do Mine)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Minho and Thomas are protected by an old umbrella, Newt confesses a crime he didn’t commit and Thomas just generally talks too much.

„Oi Thomas! Quit daydreaming about your mysterious lover and get off your lousy ass, we have to get out!”

Minho kicked him in the ankle, making his best friend jolt up from his slouching position and look at him with wide eyes.

“Huh? Shit, sorry.” Before Minho could mock him even more, Thomas jumped up from his bus seat quickly, fiddling on the rim of his dark green beanie, pulling it deeper into his face in a miserable attempt to hide his embarrassment.

Minho rolled his eyes with an annoyed grunt, grabbing Thomas by the sleeve of his jacket and pulling him to the already closing bus doors quickly. He shoved his foot between the doors, making them open up again last second.

Thomas didn’t even realize what was going on until he felt droplets of rain hit his pink cheeks while the bus was driving away with a loud roar of its motor.

“Jesus, you’d be fucking lost without me,” Minho complained while struggling to open his umbrella. He let out a triumphant ‘Ha!’ when it finally gave in.

It was crooked and couldn’t possibly cover both of them from the rain, but it was all they could find in the hurry of getting out of their apartment in time to get the bus. Minho had owned that ugly thing for ages, once given to him by some sketchy ad agency. Their logo on the top was barely visible anymore, washed away by numerous rainfalls and thunderstorms.

Thomas stepped beside his best friend quickly, linking arms with him and snuggling as close as he could so he would stay as dry as possible. Not that it made much of a difference, since the rain was accompanied by a strong wind anyway, making the water hit the boys in a 45 degrees angle.

And just like that, they began to make their way through the ongoing storm. Huddled together like this, the umbrella almost losing the fight against the merciless wind, they almost looked like a caricature.

Against all odds, the boys and their old trusty umbrella made it to the arcade in one piece. Thomas and Minho were drenched up to the middle of their tights, shaking in their shoes from the cold.

“We should really get a car, man.” Minho hung his coat onto the rack, holding out his hand for Thomas to give him his jacket without looking at him.

“Hm-hm.”

“I mean if we saved up some more money we could actually get a pre-owned one. And we would split the costs for gas between us anyway, I think we could actually manage that.”

“Sure.”

“Are you even listening to me?” Minho shot his friend an annoyed look over his shoulder, still waiting for him to hand him the jacket.

But said jacket was still hanging over Thomas’ shoulders, who was currently craning his neck to get a better look inside the actual arcade through the glass door of the foyer.

Minho knew exactly what, or _who_ , Thomas was looking for. Because despite his best friend being able to get his mind of the stranger for most of last weekend, his obsession seemed to have been growing with every day since last Monday.

It was now Friday and Minho was done with Thomas’ shit.

He turned around, flicking a finger at his best friend’s forehead. Thomas jolted back a bit, once again looking at Minho with these wide deer eyes of his.

“If you want to see if Mister Lover Boy is inside you gotta get rid of that jacket first, for fuck’s sake.”

Thomas finally snapped out of it, shaking his jacket off hastily and basically throwing it over Minho’s arm. “Thanks, love you!”

“What the-“ But Thomas was already making a dash for the door, almost hitting his head on the clean glass when his feet walked faster than his hands could use the doorhandle.

Minho let out a dramatic sigh, shaking his head in disbelieve. He couldn’t quite understand the brunet’s feelings, even though he tried. He really did. But crushing on someone you met for such a short amount of time was something he would probably never understand.

It usually took some time until Minho developed a crush on someone, an emotional one at least. He was attracted to a lot of different kinds of people in a physical sense, but having feelings for someone was on a completely different level for him.

He had been in some relationships before, some more serious, others less so. He was also usually the one to end them. It’s not like he was hard to please, but when Minho was in a relationship, he would give 120%. And to his dismay, his partners were never able to give that back.

That’s what he appreciated about his friendship with Thomas. They were on the same level, always supporting each other without batting an eye. Minho knew if he would show up in front of Thomas’ door with a shovel in each hand and a body to hide, his friend would be his partner in crime, no questions asked.

Not that Minho was planning to murder anyone.

Yet.

When he finally made his way into the flickering world of the WICKED ARCADE, he was greeted by a very confused looking Gally.

“Is it just me or is Thomas acting strange today?”

Minho let out a half joking, half annoyed huff. “Stranger than usual? Definitely.”

“Says a lot that even _you_ can’t handle him anymore,” Gally noted with a crooked grin. “What’s wrong with him, is he about to get laid?”

“Dude, I wish. At least he’d shut up then.” Minho ignored his friend’s confused yet curious look, pushing past him with a sigh.

Deep inside, he really hoped that the stranger would show up again tonight. Thomas had not been acting like himself during the last week and it started to bother Minho a lot. Not only was his best friend extremely annoying, being even more fidgety than usual, but he also worried Minho. He had the bad feeling that this wasn’t going to end well, stranger showing up or not.

In Minho’s mind, there were two possible outcomes to this night:

  1. Thomas’ weird acquaintance would be here again. In that case, his best friend would probably not be seen for the rest of the night, wandering off with that dude to who knows where. And Minho didn’t trust this guy at all, how could he? Thomas didn’t exactly tell him much, apparently not knowing a lot about him either. Jesus, Minho didn’t even know the man’s name.



  1. Mister Mysterious wouldn’t show up again, leaving Thomas an untamable disappointed mess. And Minho wasn’t ready to deal with another week full of Thomas lying face down on his bed, muffling opaque complaints into his pillow.



“Woah Minho, don’t look so grumpy already!” Brenda jumped up from her seat on the orange couch in the lounge, making Teresa jump in surprise by the sudden movement.

Her girlfriend didn’t seem to have noticed and was now scanning the space behind Minho, her wide grin slowly turning into an almost concerned look. Her voice sounded a lot less joking this time. “Where’s Thomas?”

Minho couldn’t contain a small laugh, rolling his eyes at her concern. “Chill, he’ll probably be here any second.”

The shorter girl relaxed immediately, putting on her usual smile again. “Oh, okay! Good!” She plopped down next to Teresa, snuggling closer and putting her head on her girlfriend’s shoulder.

She watched as Minho and Gally sat down. It was not like she thought something had happened to Thomas or anything like that, it just seemed off to see Minho without his best friend.

Winston joined the four of them a few minutes later. He had been a lot less lucky than Thomas and Minho, with his whole buddy being drenched by the rain. He was dripping wet, so Gally sacrificed his retro windbreaker for Winston to sit on.

There was still no sign of Thomas.

Minho started to ignore the conversation going on around him more and more, letting his gaze wander through the flashing lights of the machines. He pulled out his phone to check if Thomas had texted him. But there was only a notification for a new YouTube video from an account Minho actually had wanted to unfollow for a long time anyway.

He swiped the message away, letting his gaze dart up again. He was just starting to consider getting up to look for his best friend when Thomas finally appeared behind one of the pinball machines. His hands were buried in the pockets of his black jeans, his blue flannel shirt was almost slipping down from one of his shoulders, as if he had been fiddling with it before.

Minho knew exactly what that meant. The stranger didn’t show up. And as expected, Thomas was devastated.

Thomas, who was previously looking down, finally lifted his head. Their gazes met and a small, yet absent smile appeared on the younger one’s face.

Standing there with his big sad eyes, shoulders slightly hunched over and messy strands of brown hair sticking out under his beanie, Thomas made Minho feel a wave of pity wash over him.

But there was something else in there, something Minho couldn’t quite grasp before it was gone again, swept away like the falling leaves in the storm outside.

He jumped slightly when Brenda called out Thomas’ name, way too loud to still be considered as her Indoor Voice. Their friend responded with a smile, his face immediately lightening up as if nothing had happened.

Minho hated it. He hated when Thomas hat to fake his emotions. And he hated that no one but him seemed to notice. He hated that stranger for not showing up and he hated what it did to his hopelessly romantic best friend.

Maybe Thomas was less of a hopeless romantic and more of a naïve optimist.

Minho wasn’t sure what was worse.

He was so lost in thoughts that he barely noticed Thomas plopping down next to him, making the cushion of the couch bend under his weight.

“What do you mean ‘I look better than usual’? Am I supposed to be offended?”, Thomas let out with a grin. It was only now that Minho noticed that apparently, he missed a big chunk of the conversation since his friend arrived.

“That was supposed to be a compliment, dumb ass! I’m never trying to compliment you ever again,” Brenda threw back at him in a teasing, yet playful tone. “Where have you been anyway?”

Minho shot Thomas a brief side glance, anticipating the answer his friend would give. Or wouldn’t give. Thomas was and had always been a bad liar, everyone would be able to see through him every time he tried to lie. That’s also why no one every told him about surprise parties.

“Yeah uh- I was just, you know-“ Thankfully, the poor boy couldn’t get any further.

“Y’all could have told me that you already went inside! Stood in the freaking rain for 10 minutes before Miss P told me you are already inside!” Thomas’ knight in shining armor - also known as Frypan - stopped in front of the couch, hands on his hips.

He tried to look at his friends in a scolding manner, but as always, he couldn’t contain that big contagious smile everyone loved about him.

“And you have to stop forgetting your phone at home every damn time you go out,” Gally said with a roll of his eyes, “Or how else did you miss all the messages we sent in the group chat?”

The smile didn’t fade from Frypan’s face. In fact, it only grew wider.

“Hey! I didn’t forget it _at home_. I left it at work by accident this time!” He ignored his friends’ amused and annoyed groans and sat down next to Gally, giving him a big old pat on the shoulder while doing so.

Frypan joined the conversation immediately, as if he had been here the whole time. Everything just felt more light-hearted as soon as he arrived, almost like the first beams of sunlight coming through after a cloudy week.

But the sun didn’t hit Thomas today. He fell silent again, glad about Frypan taking all the attention away from him. And no one seemed to notice the nervous glances he threw at the entrance of the building every few seconds, fiddling with the beanie in his lap. He had taken it off when he joined the group, leaving his hair an even bigger mess than usual.

No one noticed, except Minho.

He didn’t look at Thomas, trying not to draw the attention back to him. Instead, he nudged their knees together softly in a comforting gesture. It took Thomas a beat to react, pressing his knee against Minho’s gently. There were no words needed. And none of them pulled away.

The conversation went on and on. Thomas actually managed to take at least some part in it, throwing in some _Yeah totally_ ’s and _Oh my god, same_ ’s and even one or the other laugh at the right time. But that was all he did.

He didn’t stop checking the entrance, but the glances became less frequent the longer the evening went on.

Minho wished he could help his best friend somehow. At least just talk to him about it. He made a mental note to finally have the _Here’s Why We Don’t Obsess Over Complete Strangers_ talk at home.

Now that he put some thought into it, they should probably have had that talk way earlier. It’s not that Minho didn’t try to dial down Thomas’ hopes (in a considerate way, mind you), but it still got worse with every passing day.

Thomas made sure that they would all meet at the arcade at the exact day and time like last week, to increase his chances of meeting that guy again. He didn’t explicitly say that to Minho, but he knew anyway.

And now that Thomas’ Master Plan hadn’t worked out, Minho had the slightest spark of hope that his best friend would finally drop the stranger and move on. But who was he kidding, he knew Thomas better than himself. He was already mentally preparing for the coming weeks, filled with a self-loathing and self-pitying Thomas.

Around half an hour before midnight, Minho decided that it was time for them to leave. Even if Thomas tried to pretend that he could go on for another hour, his friend noticed the silent exhausted huffs and the restless twitching of his feet. All signs, that he wanted to get out of here as fast as possible. Minho wasn’t even sure if Thomas himself noticed them.

“No way you two are already leaving! Y’all are getting old!”, Frypan remarked with a teasing grin when the two of them got up.

Minho rolled his eyes at him, keeping up his usual confident self. “We are _responsible_ students, as opposed to you guys!” He ignored Teresa’s silent snort that said _I’d like to differ_ and went on. “We have a shit ton of uni work to finish and the library is closed on Sunday.”

“Sorry guys, we’ll make more time for you next week,” Thomas said with a small smile, “I promise.” He stood next to Minho and put on his beanie, leaving a few strands of hair sticking out.

The two of them said goodbye to their friends and finally made their way to the exit. Thomas’ smile dropped as soon as they were out of sight and he let out a sad silent huff. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to ruin the mood or anything,” he said with a sad undertone, not looking at his best friend.

Before Minho was able to scold his friend for saying something like that and tell him that it was okay, he was interrupted by Miss Paige stopping them right before they could walk through the door and into the night.

“Thomas! I almost forgot!”

The two boys looked at her, a mixture of confusion and curiosity appearing on their faces. The woman walked over to them, raising her arm and waving with a smile. But there was something in her hand, a small orange bundle Thomas and Minho couldn’t quite make out due to the motion.

She stopped in front of them, smile only growing wider as soon as she noticed their puzzled looks. “A young man left this for you on Wednesday, he told me I should give it to you when I see you again.” Miss Paige held out her hand, putting the little something into Thomas’ hands that he held out in anticipation.

Thomas looked at her for another second before finally lowering his gaze to examine the undefined object, which felt so much softer than he expected.

His heart almost stopped when he could finally make out what he was holding in his hands. It was a small orange stuffed animal. A dog, to be exact. The same orange dog that he tried to get out of the machine for Newt last week, to be very exact.

And as if that wasn’t already enough to make Thomas’ vital body functions stop completely, there was a note stuffed between the collar and the synthetic fur of the dog. A note with a phone number scribbled on it.

~°~

**Thomas’ phone**

hey! [9:00]

:) [9:02]

**Unknown number**

Who is this? [10:13]

**Thomas’ phone**

thomas! [10:13]

from the arcade! [10:14]

u left your number for me [10:14]

**Unknown number**

You finally got it then? It’s Newt! [10:16]

**Thomas’ phone**

oh thank fuck [10:16]

I was kinda scared that someone played a prank on me or something lol [10:17]

**Newt**

It could still be a prank, you know? [10:18]

Thomas? [10:25]

You’ve been typing for 10 minutes now, you okay? [10:28]

**Thomas’ phone**

yeah !! [10:29]

u just threw me off track haha [10:30]

He could have smacked himself. Thomas knew that he could be an awkward mess, but he had hoped that texting would be easier for him. His hopes were all in vain. He had spent the last 10 minutes trying to come up with a smart witty answer, something that would make Newt think that he could also take the lead in flirting.

It didn’t work out at all.

In fact, it only revealed the social-incompetent dork he truly was. Thinking back, he should have probably taken Minho’s offer to advise him on the texting.

He jumped the slightest bit when his phone buzzed again, still resting in his hand loosely. Thomas was usually someone who had his phone on silent all the time, but for Newt he was willing to make an expectation.

**Newt**

You don’t even want to know how long it took me to get that ugly dog out of there. [10:33]

**Thomas‘ phone**

oh shit wait [10:34]

i didn’t even think about that omg [10:34]

did u really waste your time getting it out???? [10:35]

**Newt**

I wouldn’t say that I wasted it, I am talking to you after all, aren’t I? [10:36]

**Thomas’ phone**

oh wow [10:37]

that was smooth as fuck [10:37]

That’s what Thomas wrote. What he actually felt was more like the embodiment of a literal key smash. He actually had to stop himself from audibly squealing which made him feel like an absolute fool. And he was glad that he was in his room alone, without Minho being able to make fun of him.

**Newt**

Yeah right? Are you surprised though? ;) [10:38]

Omg I’m sorry, I’m not actually that arrogant. I promise. [10:38]

**Thomas’ phone**

did you [10:39]

did you just use a WINKING EMOJI on me?? [10:39]

**Newt**

No. [10:39]

;) [10:39]

Thomas felt like he might die on the spot. Not only was he finally able to talk to the stranger from last week, but it was also going _well_. At least as well as it could go for someone like Thomas.

**Thomas’ phone**

okay I gotta know [10:40]

how many attempts did it take? [10:40]

to get that dog [10:41]

**Newt**

You don’t really want to know, it’s embarrassing. [10:42]

Like for real. [10:42]

**Thomas’ phone**

newt come on [10:43]

now I want to know EVEN MORE [10:43]

pleeease [10:45]

**Newt**

Okay, so you know how we both agreed that these things are based on luck? It took me about 6 more turns to get at least /something/ out of there. And I mean I could have taken that green monkey and left it as it was, but you know…we agreed on that stupid dog. So I smashed the glass with my elbow and got it out. Then I made a dash for it so I wouldn’t get caught, it worked out pretty well. [10:48]

**Thomas’ phone**

…no you didn’t [10:49]

…did you?? [10:52]

please tell me u didn’t [10:55]

neeeewt I need to know [10:58]

**Newt**

Omg Thomas, of course I didn’t haha. [11:01]

I’m a peace-loving individual after all. [11:02]

**Thomas’ phone**

phew [11:02]

i mean that would have been pretty badass ngl [11:03]

**Newt**

Stealing kids’ toys is badass to you? [11:04]

**Thomas’ phone**

yeah [11:04]

wait no!! [11:04]

idk it’s just…i’m kinda marveled that you actually got that thing [11:05]

like….just for me u know [11:05]

idk [11:05]

anyway!! [11:06]

how much longer did it take you to get the dog out? [11:06]

**Newt**

That’s a secret, sorry Tommy. [11:07]

There it was again. _Tommy._ Only his mom called him by that name, and he didn’t even like it. He didn’t mind when Newt called him that though, for some reason unknown to him. Could it be considered to be weird? Newt used that nickname 10 minutes after they first met, that was pretty fast in Thomas’ opinion.

He made a mental note to ask him about it at another point. But not now.

**Thomas’ phone**

you’re quite the mystery-monger aren’t you? [11:08]

**Newt**

Does that make me more interesting to you? [11:09]

**Thomas’ phone**

you don’t need to be mysterious for me to consider you interestign [11:13]

It took him exactly five minutes and eleven seconds to come up with that response. And then he made a typo. Thomas smacked his head on his desk with a groan, pulling the hood of his hoodie over his head to hide from the world.

His hideout only lasted until his phone buzzed again, making him jolt up immediately to unlock it.

**Newt**

Now /you/ are the one who’s being smooth. [11:14]

And incapable of using autocorrect correctly, apparently. [11:14]

Thomas’ forehead landed on the cold wood of the desk again. But this time he remained in this position when he texted Newt back, a pained expression on his face. Both from being embarrassed and hitting his head a little too hard this time.

**Thomas’ phone**

is that a deal breaker to you?? [11:15]

The desperate boy stared at his phone, waiting for a new message to pop up. Or the three little dots indicating that the person on the other end was typing.

But nothing happened.

Did he fuck up?

It had been 15 minutes since he texted Newt but there was no reply.

Was he overthinking this?

Thomas finally decided to get up, craning his neck which resulted in a loud unpleasant _crack_. He put his phone into the pocket of his hoodie, making his way to the kitchen.

He must have looked pretty unhappy, because Minho immediately frowned upon meeting his best friend in the kitchen.

“Dude, you okay? Did he not text back?”

“He did,” Thomas said with a small smile while opening the door to their fridge and peaking inside.

“Why the frowny face then?” The older one leaned against the kitchen table, watching Thomas with a curious expression. He was the one who had to stop his best friend from texting the stranger immediately after they left the arcade, telling him that it was probably way too late for both of them and reminding Thomas that he usually started to write ‘impulsive shit’ when he was tired.

Thomas finally closed the fridge door, looking at Minho with a carton of milk in his hand. “I’m not-“ His blatant attempt to lie to his friend was promptly interrupted by the buzzing of his phone.

He pulled it out of the pocket, way too fast for Minho not to understand what was going on. He put on a knowing grin when Thomas looked up again, obviously disappointed with whatever caused the alarm.

“Let me guess. You two texted for a while and now he hasn’t responded in 10 minutes?”

The pout on Thomas’ face was unambiguous. “20 minutes,” he mumbled while putting the opening of the carton to his lips and taking a few smaller sips of the milk.

Minho shook his head with a laugh. “Jesus Thomas, give this man some rest. Handling you can be a lot, you know?” He pushed himself off the table and walked over to his best friend, snatching the carton and the cap from his hands. Thomas knew Minho’s opinion about drinking milk straight out of the carton, but he stopped caring long ago.

“It was going pretty well though, I think he might like me,” the brunet said while Minho sealed the milk carton and put it back into the fridge, out of reach from an uncultured swine like Thomas.

“See, I told you it would be fine.” Minho gave him a warm smile and a pat on the back, which he also used to shove Thomas out of the way to get past him. “What did he tell you?”

“Not much yet, we only talked about how I got his number until now.” Thomas followed his friend out of the kitchen and into his room, leaning on the door frame while Minho rummaged through his closet.

His room was way tidier than Thomas’s and also more spacious. Not only was the bed wider, but the closet provided more storage as well. The window didn’t show a view as triste as the one from Thomas’ room and let in more light.

Thomas didn’t mind the difference too much. After all, a place to sleep and store his stuff away was all he needed. At this point he probably spent more time in the kitchen anyway, no matter how small it was. He didn’t feel so alone in there.

“You still haven’t told me his name, by the way,” Minho remarked with a slight hint of reproach. He turned around and crossed the room, a small bundle of black clothes in his hand. With his free hand, Minho pulled a gym back out from under his bed, stuffing the clothing inside.

Thomas watched him with a skeptical look on his face, completely ignoring the question. “Wait, I thought you’d join me at the library? Didn’t you complain about your assignment just a few days ago?”

Minho stopped in his track, turning his head slightly to look at Thomas. He didn’t seem to know how to response for a second, then just gave it a shrug and continued packing his back.

“It’s not that important anyway, I can still finish it next week.” He closed the zipper of his bag with a forceful movement that let Thomas know that he wouldn’t answer any more questions.

When Minho pushed past Thomas, the younger one didn’t move, only following his friend with his eyes. He was just about to say something when he was yet again interrupted by the buzzing of his phone.

When he pulled it out to look at the screen, a wide smile appeared on his face.

**Newt**

Not at all, don’t worry. I actually quite enjoy texting you. [11:40]

Even when you misspell every second word, haha. [11:41]

“Did Mister Lover Boy text you back?” Minho had suddenly appeared again, not being able to hold back a comment about his best friend’s state. This state included Thomas grinning at his phone like an idiot and tiptoeing in his spot in excitement.

Thomas’ gaze shot up, the grin not vanishing. “He said he enjoys talking to me!!”

Minho couldn’t help but smile at his friend’s absolute excitement. Maybe something would finally work out for him. He deserved it.

“Alright, then I’ll leave you two love birdies alone for now.”

“Yeah sure, see you later, Min!” Minho was pretty sure that Thomas didn’t actually listened to what he said before, but he left it at that. He looked at his friend with a warm smile for a another beat before turning around and walking to the front door. He didn’t even bother to return the goodbye, Thomas wouldn’t listen anyway.

**Thomas’ phone**

i’ll try to be better lol [11:42]

and I also enjoy talking to you. [11:42]

**Newt**

Wow, did you just put a period at the end of your sentence? You really are improving already! [11:43]

**Thomas’ phone**

excuse me [11:43]

i’m gay [11:43]

that’s how I talk [11:44]

**Newt**

I’m gay as well and I’m capable of using the right punctuation. [11:45]

A wave of relieve flushed through Thomas. It was not like he had any doubt that Newt was gay, even someone as oblivious as Thomas noticed the flirting and all. But still – it was nice to have an actual confirmation.

**Thomas’ phone**

why do I have the feeling that you enjoy teasing me?? [11:46]

**Newt**

Because I do. [11:46]

You are just too fun to tease. [11:47]

Anyway, I have to work now. I will text you when I’m back home, if you want to. [11:51]

Thomas wanted to scream when he looked back at his phone that he accidentally dropped after receiving the first two messages. He was too embarrassed to pick it up at first, standing there with his hand over his eyes and a _Why the fuck am I like this_ expression on his face.

How on earth was he supposed to live through this day, knowing that Newt probably wouldn’t text him again before dinner. Maybe he’d at least get some stuff done during this time.

Thomas texted Newt a quick reply, hoping that he would still see it before starting work. He had to physically stop himself from typing out a whole paragraph about how of course he wanted to text him after work and that he would probably not think about anything else for the rest of the day.

Thankfully, his common sense got the better of his need to overshare. This time.

~°~

Thomas couldn’t tell if the days went by faster or slower since he started talking to Newt.

An hour felt like five minutes when they were texting, talking about their lives or sending each other pictures of weird things they saw while running errands.

(Thomas especially loved that picture Newt send him when he was on a walk. You could see the reflection of him and a particularly fat tabby cat in a shop window. Newt squatted on the ground and had a grin on his face that Thomas labeled as _extremely cute_ , while the cat was smushing it’s face against the boy’s knee. Thomas wished he could engrave that image onto his retina.)

And as fast as the minutes went by when they talked, the time when they didn’t seemed almost unbearably long to the brunet.

He hoped that Newt felt the same.

All this texting didn’t go by without an impact. Or several impacts, at that.

  1. He studied less.



He actually almost forgot to hand in one of his assignments on Monday, which wasn’t exactly ideal. When he was texting Newt, the books were left unread. And when he didn’t, he couldn’t concentrate. That boy occupied his mind, leaving no room for anything else, like quantum physics. And unfortunately, quantum physics played a rather important part in his academic education.

  1. His attention span decreased.



Thomas loved to listen to podcasts, especially the ones that talked about anything that had to do with physics. Because Thomas was one of those weird people who actually enjoyed science, no matter if it was in his classes or in his free time. But when he texted Newt, he easily lost track of what the people in the podcast where talking about. He had listened to several episodes of his favourite one in a row without noticing that he didn’t actually _listened_ to them.

  1. He was happier.



That was something Minho noted just one day after Thomas started talking to Newt. _“Haven’t seen you smile that much since the day they announced the new season of B99.”_ And it was true – Newt made him laugh about the stupidest things and every time the screen of Thomas’ phone lit up with a new message from the blond, his face did just the same.

On Tuesday afternoon, Thomas was hanging out in his room. He actually got to tidy up a bit. Apparently, waiting for Newt to get home from work and text him made him the most productive person on earth. At least if ‘being productive’ excluded any work for uni.

He was now laying on his bed sideways, legs tangling down from the edge, swinging with the music playing from Thomas’ shitty bluetooth speaker. His eyes were closed and a small smile adorned his face. A song Thomas didn’t know filled the room, but he hummed along quietly anyway, resulting in some off-key notes here and there.

But Thomas did not care. At all. His professor could break into his room, giving him 3 assignments and a protocol to finish until tomorrow and he wouldn’t mind.

Whatever it was that Newt did to him – it was something beautiful.

He hadn’t felt this good in months. It’s not like he was doing bad or anything, but recently everything had just gone into a blur. Nothing particularly exciting happening at all. Now Newt was happening.

Thomas’ mood was about to be raised even more when his phone, that he had held in his hand the whole time, finally gave off the long-awaited buzz. The boy sat up immediately, unlocking the phone with an excited grin when he saw Newt’s name pop up on the screen.

**Newt**

I have some questions I need you to answer. Ready? [16:56]

**Thomas’ phone**

i was born ready!! [16:56]

**Newt**

Of course you were, haha. [16:57]

Alright, let’s start: Do you have any phobias? [16:57]

Thomas blinked at the screen, huffing silently. He thought about the question for a few seconds, letting his gaze wander through his oh so tidy room before typing the answer.

**Thomas’ phone**

i guess not? [16:59]

i don’t really like spiders tho [16:59]

they kinda freak me out lol [17:00]

too many fucking legs [17:00]

**Newt**

Haha, okay. Don’t worry Spiderman, I will protect you from any spiders we might encounter. [17:01]

**Thomas’ phone**

aw that’s so sweet [17:02]

**Newt**

Next one: Are you allergic to any food? [17:02]

**Thomas’ phone**

encounter where?? [17:02]

oh [17:02]

i’m mildly allergic to carrots but i could manage [17:03]

and peas [17:03]

okay i’m not allergic to them, i just think they’re disgusting [17:04]

oh fuck wait i’m also highly allergic to sea food lol i almost forgot [17:05]

**Newt**

Oh my god, Thomas. [17:06]

Good to know, though. [17:06]

What’s your favourite drink? [17:07]

**Thomas’ phone**

banana milk!! [17:07]

**Newt**

… [17:07]

I meant…drink as in “alcoholic beverage”. [17:08]

**Thomas’ phone**

ohhhh [17:08]

makes sense lol [17:09]

i don’t really drink alcohol, I always choose the virgin options [17:09]

……don’t say it [17:09]

**Newt**

Well sorry, I can’t deliver that. [17:09]

Damn, I was too slow! [17:10]

Okay one last question, are you ready, Tommy? [17:10]

**Thomas’ phone**

i sure am!! if you tell me what’s it all about afterwards [17:11]

**Newt**

Are you free tomorrow night? [17:12]


	4. You Know I Talk Too Much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Thomas has to fear for his life on several occasions, Newt actually commits a crime and Thomas is very concerned for the ripeness of an avocado.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you want something to listen to while reading this way too long, very gay chapter:  
> Talk To Much by COIN

He was too early.

Of course he was too early.

Minho tried to calm him down, told him that his date could just ring the doorbell when he arrived and that there was no need to be waiting outside.

But as always, Thomas didn’t listen.

And now he was standing outside in the cold, rubbing his arms and letting his gaze wander over the empty street in front of his apartment building. If Newt was on time, he would arrive in about ten minutes.

Thomas had been standing there for another ten minutes already.

He had been ready to go another 15 minutes earlier.

It was pretty safe to say that this boy was nervous as hell.

Minho had helped him pick out his best outfit, or as he put it: ‘That one outfit that doesn’t suck as bad as the others.’

This outfit consisted of black pants and a dark blue hoodie with a few delicate daisies embroidered on the left side of the chest. It was not as oversized as the other ten hoodies he owned, but also not too tight to be uncomfortable. The whole fit wouldn’t be complete without Thomas’ favourite pair of dark green Chuck’s, but to the dismay of his bisexual self even _he_ had to admit that it was a bit too cold for them already.

At least his jeans were cuffed just a little, making his pair of colourful socks show through the slightest bit. Thomas wasn’t even sure what was on them, he was too nervous to take a closer look before putting them on.

He really hoped that it wasn’t the ones with the obscene eggplant emojis that Minho got him for Christmas last year.

Oh god, he really did.

On top of it all, Thomas was wearing a dark jeans jacket with some pins on them. He liked to change them out from time to time, the current collection consisted of: a bisexual flag Brenda gave him, a cat flipping the bird, a BLM pin, a fried egg and a t-rex making a derpy face.

Sometimes he also liked to put some on his trusty beanie that was also accompanying him on his date tonight. His hair was untamable anyway, it couldn’t possibly be messier than before. When he had complained about it to Minho, desperately trying to fix it in the bathroom mirror while his friend was watching him from the door, the older one only laughed and leaned forward to ruffle through Thomas’ hair even more. ‘He’ll probably think it’s cute or some shit, calm down big boy!’

When Minho had finally left him alone, he looked at himself in the mirror for some more seconds. Maybe Minho was right. Thomas hoped he was.

Another thing Thomas hoped for was that he wasn’t horribly underdressed for the occasion. Newt just wouldn’t give in when he begged him to finally reveal what they were going to do, but he said that ‘a casual fit’ would be just fine.

But he had only really seen Newt once, so he couldn’t tell what ‘casual’ meant in his words.

Now that he thought about it, Thomas wasn’t even sure if this counted as a real _date_. Neither of them had used that word in particular, but Minho reassured him that yes, asking someone to go to a secret location and spend the evening with them could indeed be counted as a date.

That made Thomas even more nervous.

He hadn’t been on a date in at least one and a half years. And that last one went so horribly wrong that he decided not to go out with someone he barely knew again.

And then Newt happened.

But in Thomas’ defense, he already knew him better than the guy he went out with the last time. And Newt was also at least one thousand times more pleasant to talk to.

Thomas was pulled out of his thoughts about his horrible date by the roaring of an engine. His eyes shot up, searching for the cause of the noise that was echoing from the walls of the surrounding buildings.

It took him a few seconds before he spotted the motorcycle that was aiming for a free parking spot close to him. Thomas looked away quickly, remembering how much he hated being stared at while parking. Even though parking a motorcycle was probably way easier than doing the same with his dad’s old jeep.

Thomas cursed himself for not asking Newt what kind of car he was driving. To him, Newt appeared like someone who would drive a practical, yet classic car. Probably black or silver. Thomas didn’t actually know enough about cars to pin it down to a model or even a marque at that.

He let out a silent huff and buried his hands in the pockets of his jacket, trying to warm them up at least a bit. There was a weird feeling creeping up his nape, as if someone was watching him from behind.

When he dared a rather inconspicuous glance over his shoulder, he saw the biker looking directly at him.

Thomas turned back his head quickly, pinning his eyes to the ground as if nothing had happened. There was a slight hint of redness painting his cheeks and he hoped the person behind him didn’t notice.

There was a moment of silence before a soft muted chuckle reached Thomas’ ears. The brunet turned around completely this time, finally taking a closer look at the person on the motorcycle.

The bike was…black. That was all Thomas could identify with his scrappy knowledge of motorcycles. The driver matched the versatile colour scheme with their black boots, black slim jeans and black leather jacket. And of course their black helmet that they were about to take off.

Thomas’ heart almost stopped when familiar blond hair spilled out under the helmet, gently cascading over the biker’s shoulders.

“Close your mouth, Tommy. Never seen some guy on a bike before?” Newt looked at him with a teasing grin, running his hand through his hair to get it out of his face.

Thomas was stunned. He hadn’t even considered Newt to be a biker and he couldn’t suppress the fact that it made him even more attractive. And he didn’t think that was possible before.

“I, uh-,” the boy stuttered, feeling the heat rise in his cheeks yet again.

While Thomas was struggling for words, Newt swung his leg over his bike, opening the under-seat storage in the same flowing movement. He reached inside, pulling out another helmet and turned back to Thomas with a smile.

“Catch!”

Thomas almost dropped the object flying towards him, pressing it to his chest quickly and looking at Newt with widened eyes.

“Is this safe?”

Newt looked at him with a dumbfounded expression for a second before breaking into another laugh, finally not held back by the thick case of the helmet. It sent a pleasant shiver down Thomas’ spine.

“Course it’s safe, you can trust me! Been driving this baby here for almost three years now,” Newt exclaimed while underlining his statement by patting the shiny bodywork of his bike. He had previously closed the seat again and leaned against his trusty vehicle now.

Thomas blinked at him a few times, trying to accept the fact that he was really about to get on this scary thing of a machine. It intimidated him for some reason, he had never been on a motorcycle before. And he had not been planning to change that.

But there’s a first for everything, right?

He let out a silent shaky breath and took a closer look at the dark blue helmet, holding it away from his body like it was some kind of newborn a stranger handed him on the street.

Newt tilted his head and spoke in a much softer tone this time.

“I’m a safe driver, I don’t take risks or cut off anyone or anything like that. Especially not when someone else is with me.” He gifted him an understanding smile and held out his hand to take the helmet from Thomas. “Come on, let me help you with this thing.”

The brunet stepped closer hesitantly, handing the thing that was supposed to protect his head back to Newt. He still wasn’t too sure about the whole motorcycle thing, but he was willing to trust Newt on this.

Newt took the helmet with a reassuring smile, turning it around so the ventail was facing him. His dark brown eyes met Thomas’ when he put the helmet on him gently, adjusting it carefully until he seemed to be satisfied with it.

“Is that okay? Too tight, too loose?”

Thomas didn’t listen. His mind was too occupied with Newt’s fingers gently brushing over his jawline while adjusting the helmet, so he just nodded and hoped his inability to listen when beautiful people were talking wouldn’t kill him.

With a seemingly satisfied smile, Newt slapped the top of the helmet once and gave Thomas a grin.

“Perfect. Just hold on tight, everything will be fine.” With that, he turned around and put on his own helmet. He swung his leg over the bike again, sitting down and turning on the engine.

Thomas jumped slightly at the sudden roaring noise and felt how the panic was slowly creeping up on him. Was that the reason Newt asked him about any phobias? Because he might have just discovered a new one.

It took him another two seconds to finally overcome the upcoming fear. He climbed on the motorcycle clumsily, once again realizing that he had in fact never done this before.

When Thomas finally felt stable enough -physically and emotionally -, he scooted closer to Newt, hesitantly putting his hands on the blond’s waist.

His reluctant attempt to hold on was met with a chuckle and an amused glance over the shoulder by Newt. At least Thomas guessed it was amused, he could barely construe the other man’s expression through the ventails.

“Come on, Tommy. Don’t act like a straight dude and hold on _tight_.”

Thomas didn’t think twice, immediately wrapping his arms around Newt’s waist completely. His heart was racing at the thought of speeding through the streets on this thing from hell, but the gentle sinking and rising of Newt’s stomach made him calm down just enough for him to not lose his shit.

The driver gave off another gentle laugh while turning his head around again. He put one of his hands on Thomas’ and squeezed it gently, before putting it back on the hand grip.

That gentle gesture was enough to occupy Thomas’ mind for the rest of the drive, making him forget about the fear for his death he felt before.

~°~

“And you are completely sure that this is legal?”

“I’m sure that no one here will care, I’ve done this before,” Newt returned with an innocent smile that wasn’t able to convince Thomas, who stood there watching as the blond unlocked the door to the apartment building.

“What if someone…I don’t know, calls the cops?” The nervous tone in his voice must have been obvious, because Newt turned his head to him with a silent laugh.

“Relax, Tommy. I know most people who live here and they really don’t give a single shit about who enters and leaves the building.” He pushed open the door with his foot, stepping aside and holding it open for Thomas who hesitated for another beat before walking inside.

The younger boy let his gaze wander through the bleak stairwell. It wasn’t welcoming at all, the walls were painted a nasty beige colour and the steps looked like a whole army had walked over them at least ten thousand times before.

Thomas jumped slightly when he felt a hand between his shoulder blades, pushing him towards the stairs gently. He looked over at Newt who was returning his gaze with a reassuring smile.

“Sorry, but the building doesn’t have a lift.”

“How high do we gave to go?”

“All the way up.” Newt gave him an apologetical smile and started climbing the stairs, directly followed by Thomas.

They made it halfway there when Newt looked at Thomas and pointed at one of the apartment doors. It looked like someone had done an absolutely bad paintjob at it, but that could be said for almost everything in this building.

“That’s where I used to live. It was a pretty shabby place but it was all I could afford at the time.”

“And you still got the keys because…?” Thomas examined the door for a second before looking back at Newt with a concerned, but also slightly amused look. He slowly started to feel better about this whole situation.

“Because I had to make a copy of it at one point and I just didn’t give it back when I moved out,” Newt answered with a shrug as if it was the most ordinary thing in the world. “You’ll see why in a few minutes.”

“Okay, but why did you make another one?”

“Jesus Tommy, you ask just as many questions in real life as you do while texting,” the blond noted with a smile, making sure Thomas wouldn’t take it as an offense.

When he didn’t get a reaction, Newt turned around to look at Thomas, who had stopped at the seemingly last landing of the stairs. They locked eyes for a few seconds before the younger man couldn’t hold it anymore and looked up the much narrower wooden stairs Newt was already standing on with one foot.

“Wait, we have to go to the attic?”

Newt only responded with a wide smile and a way too enthusiastic nod for Thomas’ nerves. The skepticism must have been written all over his face, because Newt put on that gentle smile once again. God, that smile could probably make Thomas do anything.

“You trust me?” The blond leaned down further, reaching his hand out to Thomas.

To speak the truth, if Thomas put any value to basic common sense, he probably shouldn’t trust a person he only really knew for a few days and was about to take him to an attic in a house they basically broke into.

And Thomas knew that.

So he took a deep breath, looked at Newt with a thin smile and said: “Sure.”

Newt, seemingly pleased with the answer, got off the stairs again and took a step closer, grabbing Thomas’ hand in a quick movement and pulling him up the creaking stairs.

Thomas almost stumbled, surprised by the sudden movement. He didn’t even have time to turn red by the unfamiliar touch before Newt let go again to unlock the door on top of the staircase with the same stolen (?) key as before.

When the door finally swung open with an unpleasant squeak, the smell of old wood and mold met Thomas’ nose. He shot Newt another skeptical look, but the other man was already heading into the attic.

Even someone as oblivious as Thomas couldn’t ignore the absurdity of all this, but he had decided to trust Newt on several occasions today, so why stop now? If he had wanted to murder him, he would have probably done it somewhere else.

At least that’s what he hoped.

Thomas followed Newt inside, who had turned on the lights in the meantime. It would probably have been better if he had left them turned off, given that this attic was just as grubby as the rest of the building. Not that the miserable light bulb hanging from the ceiling did much anyway.

“Lovely, isn’t it?” Newt looked at Thomas with a grin, watching him close the door behind him before continuing his way deeper into the attic.

“If you consider dead flies and moldy wood as _lovely_ , then yeah. It sure is lovely.” Thomas tired to sound at least a little bit salty, but he just couldn’t contain his curiosity. It seemed impossible to figure out what the hell the blond was planning.

“Yeah, right? I think the spider webs are also a very nice touch to round up this place’s ambience.”

Thomas stopped in his track immediately and looked at Newt with wide eyes.

“Hey! I told you I didn’t like spiders!”

“And I told you that I would protect you from them, remember?” Newt had stopped as well, throwing the brunet an encouraging smile. “Want me to take your hand again, fraidy cat?”

An annoyed huff was all he got in return, but the small smile appearing on Thomas’ face didn’t go by unnoticed.

“You just need an excuse to touch me, creep,” Thomas claimed, but suddenly widened his eyes the next second. He continued speaking much faster, as if he had just solved the secret to the universe. “That’s why you wanted to know my phobias! So you could use them against me and have an excuse to be physically close to me! Gotcha!”

Newt blinked slowly, staring at Thomas with a completely baffled expression before breaking into a heartfelt laugh. It was the most beautiful laugh Thomas had ever heard.

“Yeah! You got me! Can’t believe it took you so long to figure it out,” Newt finally said, still not able to completely contain a few snickers.

Thomas couldn’t take his eyes off him. It didn’t matter to him that they were in one of the mustiest and worst-lit places Thomas had ever been in. Newt’s laugh lit up the whole attic, making the brunet forget about all the doubts and concerns he felt just a few seconds ago.

Before he could continue his romantic strand of thought, he felt Newt grab onto his hand once again. And this time he was finally able to soak in the warm feeling the touch sent through his whole body.

“Alright, wait here for a second,” Newt said, letting go off Thomas’ hand and leaving him in the spot he just pulled him into. Thomas wished he could have just reached for Newt’s hand again, not letting it go for the rest of the evening.

In front of them, there was an antic looking wardrobe. It was covered in dust, as if it had been standing there untouched for years. But Thomas was a pretty good observer and noticed the pattern on the dirty floor, indicating that this massive thing probably had been moved before.

But he was only able to take his eyes off Newt for a split second. He watched as the boy leaned against the short side of the wardrobe and pushed against it with his shoulder. For a second the wish of Newt not wearing that masking jacket crossed Thomas’ mind, but he scrabbed it quickly.

When Newt did it, it almost seemed like that old massive thing was as light as a feather. Thomas tried not to stare too obstructively, but I was hard when his mind was filled with the thought of Newt’s strong arms hiding under the fake leather of his jacket.

So much about not trying to think of that.

The legs of the wardrobe made a rumbling noise while being pushed over the old wooden floor, making Thomas get hit by another wave of concern.

What if the people living in the apartment below would hear it?

And call the police?

And then they would get arrested?

His anxiety was doing him quite dirty today.

“Alright, that’s it,” Newt exclaimed after the wardrobe was finally out of the way, revealing a metal door that was previously hidden by the massive piece of furniture. Thomas couldn’t believe his eyes and looked at his date with an astonished expression.

“How did you find this?”

“I didn’t find it. I _hid_ it.” Newt winked at Thomas, almost making the poor boy lose his mind once again. “And when I open that door, you will have to trust me for one last time today. Is that okay with you?”

Thomas just nodded, muted by his eager desire to finally find out what the hell Newt was being all mysterious about. This was thrilling, in a good and a bad way at the same time.

Newt regarded him with a perusing look for a second before breaking into a soft smile. “Thank you, Tommy. I know I’ve been putting you through quite some tests today, but I promise it will be worth it.”

And with these words he turned around, finally unlocking the door and revealing his well-kept secret.

The first thing Thomas noticed was the smell of fresh air filling the room, offering a desperately needed change to the ruthless stuffiness of the attic. The last beams of sunlight were streaming through the open door, hitting Newt from behind and making it seem like he was glowing in the darkness of the room.

Thomas stepped into the light slowly, blinking against the sudden brightness and shielding his eyes from the setting sun. It took him exactly three seconds before he noticed what he was standing on. The sudden realization made him stumble back immediately, resulting in him bumping into Newt, who stood right behind him.

His eyes were glued to the ground, if the metal lattice stretching over the abyss in front of him could be called that. He felt Newt’s hands on his upper arms, squeezing him gently. They were accompanied by a calming voice close to his ear just a second later.

“I’ve walked over this thing at least a hundred times, it’s completely safe. It’s just two quick steps.”

Ignoring the goosebumps running all over his body, Thomas took a deep breath before finally looking straight in front of him again. At second glance, the whole structure appeared a lot safer than the boy had thought before.

The ground wasn’t as far away as Thomas perceived at first as well. If he - in some unfortunate events - would fall down, he’d land on a part of the roof about three meters below.

“I’m fine,” he whispered, finally taking a step forward. He clung onto the railing of the narrow bridge-like structure and made it over to the other side in two steps, just like Newt told him.

A brief wave of euphoria rushed through Thomas and he couldn’t help but grin. Newt was beside him a few moments later, looking at him with a wide smile.

“See, wasn’t that bad, was it?”

“Shut up, I could have died!” Thomas’ accusation stood in contrast to the huge grin that still didn’t want to leave his face. 

There was something in Newt’s expression that made Thomas’ heart skip a beat. Something about the way the corners of his mouth crinkled up slightly, half amused and half content. And his eyes almost seemed to glow, but maybe that was just the setting sun reflecting in them.

Thomas wasn’t the best at interpreting emotions, but he was almost completely sure that the expression on Newt’s face was _fondness_.

To Thomas’ disappointment, it only lasted for a beat before Newt pushed past him and turned around to look at him with a pleased grin. He stuck out his arms to his side, gesturing at their surroundings.

“Here we are, make yourself at home.”

Thomas had to admit that he only had eyes for Newt to this point and did in fact not even consider checking out the place around him.

When he did, he had to stop his mouth from dropping in awe.

They were standing on top of a flat part of the roof, about nine square meters in surface. Two sides were closed off by walls that were apparently belonging to the building next door. Some parts of the light yellow wall showed signs of plaster that was probably used to close windows or doors that were once leading inside of the building.

Maybe this place used to be a roof deck at one point, but that questions wasn’t really on top of Thomas’ list of things to waste brain capacity on right now.

His attention was drawn to the view opening in front of his eyes.

The building they stood on was one of the tallest in the area and therefore provided a perfect lookout over the city.

Thomas could see tiny cars driving on the streets, a buzzing cluster of red and yellow lights wriggling its way around the buildings surrounding them. He wondered where they were heading, maybe home to their families? Home to an empty apartment? Or maybe they were just about to start work in the dead hours of night, drinking coffee to survive the graveyard shift somehow.

The few people walking on the sidewalks could barely be made out from up here. Thomas wasn’t even sure if they would notice Newt and him when they would take a look up. For a split second he had the child-like urge to just wave at them.

The lights of the city were slowly awakening, some of them white and cold, others colourful and almost intrusive.

But all of it wouldn’t be half as beautiful if the setting fall sun wouldn’t cover the whole scenery in a beautiful soft light, painting the sky in a stunning gradient from orange to the most beautiful blue Thomas had ever seen.

The sky was speckled with soft clouds, dyed pink and purple by the sun. Thomas felt like he was part of a painting, this almost seemed unreal.

To him, this was the most gorgeous view he had ever seen.

And just as he thought that this view couldn’t possibly get any better, Newt stepped into his field of sight, a smile as warm as the colours of the sky on his face.

“Do you like it?” Newt’s tone was soft, almost slightly unsure if Thomas interpreted his tone correctly.

The younger boy let out a disbelieving chuckle, looking at Newt with a huge smile. When he spoke, his voice came out way more silent than he anticipated.

“Are you kidding? This is…” He looked over the skyline again, shaking his head in awe. “Newt…this is amazing. It’s…beautiful.”

_Just like you._

The thought almost slipped over his lips. But Thomas wasn’t confident enough to speak the truth yet. For a second, he wished that Newt could read his mind.

Newt eased up immediately and followed Thomas’ gaze with a content smile.

“This is one of my favourite places in the whole world.”

“And you’re sharing it with _me_?” Thomas looked back at the blond. It didn’t want to come to his mind why Newt chose to share something so personal, so vulnerable with someone he met a week ago.

He hoped for an explanation, but apparently Newt wasn’t ready to share it yet. Instead he only gave it a short nod, meeting Thomas’ eyes with a soft expression.

“How about you enjoy the view while I set up some things? It will only take a few minutes, don’t peak.”

Thomas nodded quickly and turned his head back to the city spreading in front of his eyes. He knew that he could watch this scene for hours, just looking at all the tiny details he could make out everywhere.

Behind him, Newt was making all kinds of noises. Some of them, Thomas was able to assign to an action, like the silent _thud_ of Newt’s bag being sat down on the wooden floor. Others were not as easy to categorize, like a short but loud rustling as if someone pulled a huge piece of plastic foil to a different place than before.

Thomas decided to step closer to the edge, that was thankfully secured by a railing reaching just below the boy’s chest. He put his arms on the cold metal, entangling his fingers and just taking in the view.

This was worth all of the trouble.

It was worth the scary ride here, it was worth walking up the sheer endless amount of stairs, it was worth the risk of meeting a spider in the dark attic and it was worth walking over that sketchy wannabe bridge.

Even just one minute of this view would have been worth it all.

And Thomas knew that if Newt asked him to, he would do it all over again.

He stood there for about five minutes, but Thomas completely lost track of time taking it all in and philosophizing about how all of these people on the streets or in their homes had their own life. Just like Newt. Just like himself.

This thought always gave him some sense of inner peace.

Newt had to call for him three times before he finally reacted.

“Sorry, I-“ Thomas would never finish his apology. He fell completely speechless when he turned around and could finally take in what Newt had been preparing the whole time.

The place had changed completely.

Against one of the walls, there was some kind of lounge area, consisting of some pallets with very comfy looking cushions on top. Thomas didn’t even notice them before, which made him come to the conclusion that the rustling noise from before was probably coming from a tarp being dragged away from the seating area.

Thomas let his gaze wander over the many different things spread over the cushions, letting out a silent unbelieving huff. He could make out all kinds of different treats, from a basket full of deliciously smelling bread to a platter filled with all different sorts of cheese to a bowl containing the most appetizing grapes Thomas had ever seen.

In between he could also spot all kinds of different dips and spreads and even some vegetables such as cucumbers and bell peppers, all cut up into perfect snack-sizes.

The next thing the awestruck brunet noticed was the long string of fairy lights framing the whole set-up with its warm yellow light. He couldn’t possibly figure out how he hadn’t noticed it before either, but it only made for a more pleasant surprise in the end.

Thomas could feel the blond’s eyes on him, probably anticipating his reaction. He wanted to tell him that this was absolutely amazing, that he was overwhelmed with all kinds of emotions because no one else had ever done something like this for him before, he wanted to tell him that he absolutely and 100% _loved_ this.

But all that came out of his mouth was an almost inaudible breathless “Holy shit.”

His heart skipped a beat when Newt’s silent laugh reached his ears. The blond had appeared next to him, examining his face with a mixture of curiosity and bemusement.

“Thanks, I guess. Take a seat and I’ll take care of the drinks.”

Thomas finally recovered his voice again. “You better be talking about banana milk,” he said while looking at Newt with a smile that still couldn’t hide how absolutely awestruck the boy was.

“You really think I would forget about that? How dare you!” The blond chuckled and put his hand on Thomas’ lower back, gently guiding him towards the seating area. “Come on now, I’m starving.”

His date didn’t hesitate this time, finally sitting down on the cushions. They were just as comfortable as Thomas had expected. Still feeling Newt’s touch on his back, he kicked his shoes off and scooted backwards so his back was against the wall, folding his legs up under himself.

He let his gaze wander over all the things scattered in front of him once again. Now that all the thrill had worn down, he realized just how hungry he actually was. Thomas looked up to Newt, who had pulled out two wine glasses from god knows where and was currently filling one of them with a familiar banana flavoured liquid.

“Thought I might as well make it a bit fancy,” the blond remarked without looking up, as if he had felt Thomas’ gaze lingering on him.

Thomas finally had the courage not to look away.

“Wine is way too mainstream anyway. Banana milk is the new shit, trust me!”

Newt looked up, a grin on his face. “I’ll be the judge of that.” He handed the now half-filled glass to Thomas, who took it eagerly with a smile on his face that told Newt that deep inside, the brunet was still a child.

At least he had never seen a twenty-two year old get so excited about artificially flavoured milk before.

When he had filled his own glass with a lot less milk than the one before, Newt sat down next to Thomas and crossed his stretched-out legs. He held up his glass with a smile, clinking glasses with Thomas when he mirrored the gesture.

Everything still felt kind of unreal to Thomas. This might as well be a dream. Maybe he had actually died on the way here somehow and this was his unconscious mind making up a nice ending for it all.

But then again, would he be able to smell all this delicious food? Would he feel the glass making his fingertips freeze and the warmth Newt was radiating next to him?

“Are you okay, Tommy?” The blond’s eyes were laid upon him, regarding him with a warm expression.

“Yeah, just…trying to take all this in,” Thomas responded with an amused huff. He had to tear his eyes away from the warmth of Newt’s gaze, not being able to stand it any longer. Instead, he decided to look over the city again while raising the glass to his lips, instantly smiling at the familiar smell.

An unsatisfied mutter from his left drew Thomas attention back to Newt, who looked so disgusted with his nose scrunched up and his eyebrows being drawn together in discontentment that Thomas had to laugh.

“Not your thing then, I guess?”

“Not quite, no,” he said while lowering the glass and relaxing his face again.

“I don’t get it, this fine beverage filled with only the best artificial banana flavour and sugar directly from the beet is the high point of the drink industry!”

“You’re fucking weird, do you know that?” Newt said it with a smile while reaching for the basket of bread and taking a piece of the delicious baguette.

“Says the guy who took me through a scary dark attic on the first date!”

“Fair point,” the blond confirmed with a smug grin before taking one of the dips and proceeding to dip his bread in it. “But you seem to enjoy the end result, so stop complaining!”

Thomas chuckled softly, not being able to take his eyes off Newt, who wasn’t looking back at him. It was the first time Thomas could really _look at him._ The first time they met was rushed and over way too fast for the brunet to notice Newt’s sharp jawline or the way his hair was tucked behind his ear to keep it out of his face.

Or the tiny scar on his right collarbone, barely visible against his skin anymore. Thomas couldn’t tell how long it could have been there. But he wanted to reach out at trace it with his fingers gently.

He decided against it tough, scared to overstep any boundaries.

Another thing Thomas noticed was just how long Newt’s eyelashes were, almost hiding the beautiful abyss of his eyes when he was looking down.

Thomas was too scared to take a closer look at the blond’s lips. He didn’t want to desire something he probably couldn’t have just yet, knowing it would make it so much harder than it already was not to lean closer and kiss Newt.

Minho always complained about Thomas being someone to fall for people hard and fast. But Newt brought this vice to a whole newt level, making it reach higher than he could have ever imagined.

“Not hungry?”

“Hm?” Thomas focused his gaze quickly, trying to hide the fact that he had been staring at Newt the whole time while having thoughts like _this_.

“You haven’t even looked at the food yet,” Newt said with a shrug. “I can go and grab you something else if you want, it will only take a few minutes.” While making that suggestion, he didn’t look at Thomas.

“What? No, it’s fine, really! I’m just a bit overwhelmed but like, in the good sense, you know? Please, I want you to-“ He blinked at Newt, contemplating if the thing he wanted to say was already too personal at this stage in their relationship.

The weak “Stay.” that Thomas breathed out was almost swept away by the fresh fall breeze, but by the way Newt’s eyes lit up again he could tell that he had heard.

To hide the fact that he was just about to implode of nervousness and embarrassment, Thomas quickly grabbed the first edible item in reach – a slice of bell pepper – and stuffed it into his mouth.

Newt shook his head, letting out a soft laugh. A few strands of hair fell into his face, making it hard for Thomas not to stare at him again.

“Got it. I won’t leave you alone in this scary place, don’t worry.”

Thomas relaxed a bit and was finally able to admire the food Newt had brought. He was surprised at how he was able to fit it all this into the storage of his motorcycle, but at this point Newt was basically a magician to him. How else was he supposed to plan such a perfect date?

They barely talked while eating, only exchanging a few remarks about how good the food was or pointing out how the colours of the clouds were changing.

But the silence wasn’t uncomfortable, not at all.

Thomas couldn’t remember the last time he felt this easy with someone he barely knew. Maybe it was just the amazing atmosphere or the delicious food or the stunning view. Maybe.

“I haven’t asked you what you are studying yet, haven’t I?” Newt put down the now empty dip container he was previously holding.

Thomas, who had already given up due to his full stomach, looked over at him with a small smile.

“I don’t think so. I’m majoring in Physics, I just started my last year of university.”

Newt seemed to be impressed by that answer, given the slight pout of his lips and the slow nod he was giving Thomas. “Do you want to become a scientist after you’re finished? I don’t really have any idea which possibilities you have as a Physics Major to be honest.”

“Don’t worry about it, most people I talk to don’t know either. I think going the scientist route would be pretty interesting, the city has a quite prestigious team in the thermodynamic field. It’s not really my peak interest though, I’m mostly into biophysics. Maybe I’ll start off here and move somewhere else when I get tired of it, who knows what the future will bring. Or I’ll just start my own research, no idea if that will work out though.”

Newt looked at him like he didn’t understand half of the words he was saying.

Thomas noticed his gaze on him and looked over to Newt. He wasn’t sure if his mind was playing tricks on him, but he could have sworn that the blond’s eyes darted up when Thomas faced him, almost as if he had been caught.

“Uh, sorry. You probably don’t care about that stuff at all,” Thomas added with a nervous laugh. “I talk too much, I know.”

“Not at all. I enjoy listening to you.”

“You do?” The puzzled look on Thomas’ face made Newt laugh.

“Yes, I do. I think it’s fascinating when people talk about their passions, it shows me who they really are.”

“You think I’m _fascinating_?”

“That’s not exactly what I said.” Newt tilted his head slightly, grinning at the sight of Thomas’ disappointed expression. “But yes, I do find you fascinating, for the record.”

The brunet’s face lit up again immediately. He was glad that it was already too dark for Newt to see the redness covering his cheeks.

But even though he would have loved to tell Newt all about the importance of neurophysics for modern medicine (Minho would always shut him up two sentences in), he decided it was best not to scare him away with his weird obsession.

“What about you, where exactly do you work? You only told me it was some kind of youth center.”

Now it was Newt’s eyes that were lighting up, making them almost sparkle as bright as the fairy lights around them.

“Yes! I work at the Centre for LGBT+ Youth downtown and it’s honestly the best job I could imagine!”

Thomas noticed that Newt seemed to be holding back, apparently not sure if he should go on and overshare just like the brunet did before. But that was exactly what Thomas wanted, he just wanted to listen to Newt talk for hours about the things he loved.

So he did one of the few things he was good at: Reassuring the people around him.

“That’s so cool! I have read about it before and one of my friends used to go there when she was younger! What exactly are you guys doing there?”

It seemed to be working, because Newt eased up on the spot, straightening his back and looking at Thomas like a kid who had just learned the coolest fact about dinosaurs and wanted to share it with someone else.

It made Thomas feel warm inside.

“We are basically a safe haven for the queer kids in this city who don’t have a place to express themselves and _be_ themselves anywhere else. We have weekly meetups but also special events where we just talk about how we can help them in their current situations. Like supporting them with all the paperwork for transitioning or finding a place to stay when their home isn’t safe anymore. But we also do fun activities, especially on the weekends and during vacations! It’s fun, you can come along some time if you want to!”

Thomas couldn’t help the soft smile on his lips, looking at Newt as if there was nothing else around them.

“I’d love that.”

“Great, I’m sure the kids would love you!”

“Really? What makes you think like that?”

Newt looked at him again, a small smile curling up his lips. He scanned Thomas’ face, let his eyes wander over his eyes, his cheeks. His lips. The realization sent goosebumps all over the brunet’s body.

“Some of them just need someone who talks to them and then listens to them in exchange. You seem like the kind of person someone would want to talk to for hours, just because you are eager to actually _listen_.” He let out a soft chuckle before continuing. “On Sunday I complained to you about my old landlord for almost half an hour and I never felt like I was annoying you.”

“It was pretty funny, I have to admit,” Thomas noted with a grin. It was completely true, the younger one had sat in his room trying not to laugh too loud when Newt had complained about the absolute inabilities of his former landlord.

“See, that’s what I mean! I could probably tell you about, I don’t know, the process of an avocado ripening and you’d still think it’s interesting.”

“Yeah! I mean how else am I supposed to know when it’s perfectly ripe?”

Their gazes met again, lingering on each other for what felt like ages, but was actually just a second, before Newt broke into a laugh.

It was one of those heartfelt laughs, the ones that filled your heart with so much appreciation for the other person, the ones where it was impossible not to laugh along.

And Thomas did.

“What’s so funny about that?”, he said when he was finally able to hold back another laugh.

“I don’t know, you’re just too fucking cute,” Newt replied with a huge grin, pressing his forehead against Thomas’ shoulder and rubbing it gently. Almost as if to hide a blush or a sheepish grin. Or both.

Thomas stiffened slightly at the touch and tried to hide his stupidly huge grin by biting his downer lip. He failed, but since Newt didn’t see him anyway it didn’t really matter.

“I’m just…really concerned about avocados, that’s all!”

Newt’s body shook under another silent chuckle, but he didn’t move away. “You sure are, Tommy.”

Maybe now was finally the right time to ask about the nickname. Thomas had been curious about that since they first met, and this moment right now felt so _personal_. He felt like he could ask Newt anything right now.

“Newt, can I, uh- Wait, are you cold?” The attempt was put to a stop when Thomas noticed that Newt was shaking slightly, as if the cold breeze was finally creeping under his fake leather jacket.

“It’s okay, just-“ But before he could even finish his sentence, Thomas had already scooted closer, wrapping an arm around Newt’s shoulders without hesitating.

He didn’t know either what gave him the sudden courage to make that move and he was in fact already feeling a mild panic rise in his chest when Newt didn’t show a reaction for a split second.

But the blond finally eased into the touch, leaning more against Thomas and giving off a pleased grunt.

Thomas remained in the slightly on edge posture for another few seconds before he could finally relax as well, pulling Newt closer and leaning his cheek against the blond’s head hesitantly.

To his surprise, the scent of flowers tickled his nose when Newt turned his head into a more comfortable position. Thomas wasn’t quite the expert when it came to botany, so he had no idea what kind of flower it was, he only knew that it was a pleasant smell. Not too overpowering, yet still standing out just enough so that it was recognizable.

A smile appeared on Thomas face when he thought about the contrast between the way how Newt’s appearance could almost be intimidating and the flowery shampoo he seemed to be using.

And Thomas knew that Newt wasn’t intimidating at all, not matter the tough look of his black jacket and the boots or that damned motorcycle.

(Just the thought of having to get on that fucking thing again later left an unpleasant feeling in Thomas’ stomach. But at least he could be close to Newt again.)

Actually, Newt was probably one of the most pleasant people he had ever met. Or how else was he supposed to explain how they’ve known each other for merely a few days and were already cuddling on a rooftop, the whole city below them?

Thinking of that rooftop…

“What gave you the idea to make this into a hide out?” Thomas spoke in a much more lowered voice, not wanting to destroy the calm atmosphere that was wrapping around them like one of the pink clouds they were watching a few hours ago.

Thomas almost couldn’t believe that they’ve been sitting up here for that long already. With Newt, he felt like time was going by like a passing train. It was a good feeling.

The younger boy drew his eyebrows together when he realized that Newt didn’t answer his question.

“Don’t tell me you fell asleep on me.”

“I didn’t.”

Thomas felt his heart sink in his chest when he heard Newt speak again. His tone showed no signs of the passion and contentment from before. Instead, it sounded like he wasn’t really here, deeply lost in thoughts far away from their cozy hide out with the comfortable pillows, the dim lights and the calming heat of their bodies.

And wherever he was right now, Thomas didn’t like that place at all.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“Hm? Oh yeah, sure!” A smile met Thomas’ concerned look as Newt shot up his head again. “Sorry, I was kinda drifting away, you’re way too comfortable.”

He couldn’t fool Thomas.

He wanted to ask him what he was thinking about, he wanted to know what grabbed him and pulled him into these thoughts that made him shut down like that.

But when he looked into these dark eyes, the sparkle from before not completely gone but dimmed, Thomas decided against it. Having to talk about what was bothering him would probably only do harm, let alone that after all they still didn’t know each other for that long.

Even if it didn’t feel like that at all.

Newt felt like the person you could vent to for hours without having to feel insecure or like a burden.

He felt like the spark of adventure that was able to get you out of the dull daily grind, making you feel like maybe not everything in life was as boring as you had anticipated.

At the same time, he felt like the place you’d come to after a stressful week filled with annoying people and avoidable misfortunes, where you could just relax and feel save.

And Thomas, the hopeless romantic he was, would have probably come up with even more sappy comparisons, if it wasn’t for Newt’s gaze softening and his eyes slowly filling with that light Thomas had been missing so bad just a few seconds ago.

“Tommy,” he spoke in a soft whisper, “Can I ask you another question?”

It was only now that Thomas realized just how close they were.

He didn’t really notice before, since Newt’s head was on his shoulder when they scooted closer. For a moment he felt the urge to pull away, scared to invade the blond’s personal space.

But he didn’t seem to care. And Thomas was more than happy about that.

He nodded gently without being able to tear his eyes away from the dark brown of Newt’s. The gravitation between them seemed to grow with every passing beat, making it almost unbearable for Thomas not to break the last bit of distance between their faces.

And when Newt finally asked his question, the challenge only grew harder.

“What’s your opinion on kissing on the first date?"

The world around them came to a halt, at least that’s how it felt to Thomas. His head was full of so many thoughts, but he wasn’t able to grab onto any of them. His heart was beating so fast that it wouldn’t have been a surprise to him if it just jumped out of his chest and down from the building, hop into the next Taxi and get taken to the other end of the city.

Thomas was neither able to spin a rational string of thoughts, nor to form a coherent sentence.

“I uh, I haven’t- I mean I haven’t done this before and I think my brain isn’t functioning the way it should right now because you make me feel all those funny things inside and I uhm,” he spoke without taking a single breath but finally let out a silent huff while a slightly pained expression creased his face. “I talk too much, don’t I?”

The fear of him having fucked up was brushed away immediately when Newt broke into the softest laugh Thomas could ever imagine.

The next second, he felt Newt’s fingertips tracing over his cheeks, wandering into the few curls of hair that were sticking out in front of his ear.

Thomas was - not to be overdramatic - about to lose his shit.

Newt followed the movement of his hand with his eyes, another warm smile adorning his face. He seemed to be lost in thoughts again, but much happier ones this time. He almost looked dreamy. Thomas couldn’t get enough of that.

He couldn’t get enough of _Newt_.

“Alright, let me rephrase that question.” His eyes met Thomas’ again. “Do you want to kiss me?”

The next thing Thomas remembered was the feeling of Newt’s lips on his own. They were exactly as soft as he thought they would be. Exactly as warm. Exactly as perfect.

Newt gave off a surprised silent “Hm!?” before easing into the kiss, relaxing his lips and burying his hand in Thomas’ hair to pull him closer.

With his eyes closed, Newt’s lips gently moving against his own and Newt’s fingers playfully brushing through his hair, Thomas could have been almost anywhere on earth and he would have been the happiest person alive.

He wanted to embrace this feeling, hold on to the blond forever. But he had to pull away eventually, which at least gave him the chance to look at the beautiful person in front of him again.

Newt’s cheeks had turned a lovely pink colour and his slightly parted lips made Thomas’ heart race even faster. He could only guess that he looked equally as flustered, because Newt let out a breathless laugh, stroking Thomas’ reddened cheek with his thumb gently.

“Newt?” Thomas was surprised that the words came out at all, based on all of the different emotions that were tumbling down on him right now. In the best way possible.

“Yes, Tommy?”

The soft tone of his voice almost made Thomas melt onto the ground. And even though his next words came out almost too silent to be heard, he never felt this sure of something in a long time.

“Can we do this again?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phew that was gay  
> just a heads up that i can't promise that the next chapter will be up on time, since i have to study for an oral exam this week. but i'll try!  
> stay safe everyone.


	5. You Confuse Me With Your Riddles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Thomas spits out a rainbow, Minho looks _snazzy as fuck_ and Thomas abuses the shift key of his phone without any mercy.

„And he’s like…so fucking attractive, oh my god! Minho, you don’t even _understand_! His hair is…so perfect? And soft? And he’s so tall and his clothing style is so fucking cool? And he smells so good! That sounds creepy but I mean-”

“ _Thomas._ ” Minho looked at him, not able to hide his annoyance anymore. Not that he had really tried that hard before anyway.

“Minho!” The huge smile on Thomas’ face didn’t vanish. The building could collapse and this boy would probably still be smiling.

His best friend let out a deep sigh and pushed his glasses onto his head, freeing the way for him to pinch the bridge of his nose. He was about to say something about ‘Having stuff to do’ and ‘Go for a run if you need to dissipate some energy’, but the absolute bliss that adorned Thomas’ face made him stop in his tracks.

It had really been some time since he saw his best friend happy like this and even though he wasn’t feeling too well right now, he didn’t want to let this dull Thomas’ state of euphoria.

So instead of breaking into another wave of complaints, Minho let his hand sink down and closed his old laptop. After he put it next to him on his bed he was sitting on, he shuffled into a more comfortable position and patted the crinkled sheets beside him, signaling Thomas to Get His Ass Over Here.

He could see the excitement inside of Thomas rise even more. It was in the way the younger boy squared his shoulders, the way his smile grew even wider, making his dimples show up more than usual. And it was in the way that he almost stumbled while rushing over to the bed and let himself fall down on the mattress, eyes basically glued to Minho’s.

Minho could have sworn they were glowing.

And no matter how badly he wanted to be annoyed by Thomas’ flustered state, he couldn’t bring his Cold Little Heart to do just that.

He felt like he was brought back to their teenage years, with a slightly more annoyed Minho and a Thomas who was just as love-struck as the one sitting next to him right now. And as happy.

Maybe Minho could live with that.

Thomas was beaming at him, obviously waiting for Minho to finally give him the go to keep talking. The older one left him hanging for a few more seconds, scanning his face with a small smile finally forming on his face, before he let out an over-dramatic sigh.

“Alright. Tell me about your date with _Ned_.”

And here’s where some explanation is due.

Back on Saturday when Minho had first asked him about that guy’s name, he didn’t get an answer. It was only when Thomas’ had come back from his day at the library, that he was able to try again.

But when he repeated his question from the morning, Thomas was currently rummaging through his backpack, shuffling some lose pieces of paper that he had stuffed in there and making quite some noise.

And because of these unfortunate circumstances, when Thomas finally gave the answer Minho was looking for, his friend barely understood the words coming from the brunet’s mouth, making the stranger’s name sound like Ned.

_“No way that guy’s name is actually Ned, what kind of sadistic parent names their child Ned?”_

Thomas had given him a confused look before breaking into a laugh keeping him from reacting immediately, which only made Minho even more annoyed when he was before.

_“What the fuck, dude?”_

_“So his name’s not Ned?”_

He could tell that it was definitely not by the way an impish grin made its way to Thomas’ face.

_“No. No his name is Ned, you’re right.”_

Since then, Thomas’ lover had only been called by that horribly unfitting name in their household. They both just went along and by this time, Minho almost stopped to consider it weird.

Maybe when he would finally meet the guy, he wouldn’t even be able to associate him with his real name, but only fucking _Ned._

Speaking of meeting the stranger, Minho still didn’t know what he looked like either. Except of course that he was ‘so beautiful’ and ‘absolutely stunning’ and all the other things that where sputtering out of Thomas’ mouth like a waterfall right now.

A weird pink lovey-dovey heart-eyed rainbow waterfall.

And Minho listened, patiently.

He listened to Thomas’ sheer endless gush about the guy’s hair and the scar on his cheekbone (which Minho almost found to be too much information but okay) and the _perfect date_ he had planned and how beautiful the sky looked and how good of a kisser the guy was (now _this_ was too much information) and how he hadn’t felt that good in what seemed like ages.

And that last part made Minho endure the whole soppy talk without complaints. Besides the occasional roll of his eyes when Thomas went into too much detail once again, mind you.

“…and anyway! We agreed on meeting again next week and I’m so fucking excited, you don’t even know, Minho!”

“Trust me, I think I know,” Minho said with a small smile, trying not to act too much like he was glad he made it through the Ned-praising.

 _Ned-praising._ It was too late already.

And no matter how bad Minho was at hiding his real emotions, Thomas either didn’t notice or he didn’t care the slightest bit. The glow in his eyes had only grown stronger and Minho was sure if he kept smiling like that any longer, his dimples would stay permanently.

Not that he would mind, he actually like them a lot.

But he would ever admit that in front of Thomas.

That Thomas, who was now ripping him out of his spiraling thoughts by pulling the back of his hand to his forehead and letting himself fall on the bed dramatically, like some kind of 50s Hollywood Diva.

“Minho!”

“Yes, Thomas?”, Minho said with a slight remark of exhaustion. He looked at his best friend lying on his bed, arms now sprawled out beside him so that one of his forearms was leaning against Minho’s upper arm. He should really invest in a bigger bed soon.

Thomas let out another deep sigh and looked at his friend, his smile now smaller but dreamier than before instead.

“I think I have a crush on him.”

There was a second of silence before Minho burst into a laugh. He looked at Thomas, shaking his head in disbelieve while trying to figure out if he was actually joking or not.

Based on the puzzled look on the boy’s face, he was in fact not joking.

“Hey! I’m trying to express my feeling, why the fuck are you laughing??”

“Sorry, it’s just-“ He interrupted himself with another laugh before looking at Thomas with a crooked grin. “Duh! And water is wet!”

After a few seconds of Thomas’ just staring at his best friend in confusion, he finally laughed as well, punching Minho in the arm playfully.

“Shut the fuck up!” A know-all grin crept its way onto the brunet’s face. “Also water’s not wet, technically.”

“I’d rather listen to you gush about Mister Oh So Pretty for another hour than to have that stupid ass discussion again,” Minho quickly interfered and flicked his fingers against the boy’s temple, making him turn away with a displeased grunt that couldn’t quite hide the laugh he was desperately trying to suppress.

Minho looked down at his best friend who was lying there, his messy hair almost covering his eyes, his cheeks slightly pink from the laughter or maybe the - in quotations marks - “confession”, Minho didn’t know which one of these two.

He only knew that he wanted to see Thomas like this more often.

Maybe that stranger wasn’t too bad after all. For some reason, Minho had held kind of a grudge against that guy. Maybe it was because he had let Thomas down on that second Friday night. But he had redeemed himself after all and yet the grudge didn’t go away.

Not that he told Thomas about that. But something was just _bothering_ him about that guy. The way that Minho did in fact not know a lot about him wasn’t sitting right with him, so he was probably just worried about his best friend meeting _some dude_. Thomas was known for trusting people way to easily after all.

So maybe all Minho wanted was to protect his best friend.

And maybe there was something else deep inside of him, something he wasn’t brave enough to unravel just yet.

He knew it was there but he had hidden it away years ago and letting it out now, letting it occupy his mind, would be a very bad and very stupid decision.

So he kept it locked away deep inside his brain, his heart, wherever it might have been.

Because now was not the time for any thoughts like these, that time would never come anyway.

Now was the time for Minho to look at Thomas and appreciate that the person that meant the most to him was truly happy for once.

~°~

There are a few things to know about Thomas.

For one, he is an extremely supportive and loyal friend who has your back without asking any questions. Once you’re friends with Thomas, you know you will be in it for the long run because this boy commits to his friendships.

Another important fact about him is his love for physics, but that should be obvious by now. It became part of his personality back in second grade when he saw his first documentation about space on TV, actually way too young to understand even half of the words the narrator was talking about. But he thought the host was funny and soon enough, he was obsessed.

But most importantly: Thomas is an overthinker beyond any hope. He will interpret the wildest assumptions into punctuations that differ from the way a person normally texts, while they probably just mistyped and put no further thoughts into it.

Unfortunately, this propensity came to his detriment with extra force in the days after his and Newt’s date night.

Thomas was aware that he tended to overthink, but this time he was almost completely sure that something was wrong, no matter how often Minho tried to convince him that he was just overreacting.

The first thing that Thomas noticed was that Newt’s text became sparser. When they had texted before their date, they would start talking from the moment Newt arrived home from work or Thomas got out of the laboratory after an experiment, and they would only stop once one of them fell asleep.

But now, Thomas had to actually _wait_ for a reply from the blond, sometimes even for several hours. Which of course shouldn’t be seen as something bad in general, Thomas was not one of those people who demanded someone to text back immediately and he would never ever pressure anyone to do that.

It just occurred to him as something unusual, even when he only knew Newt for less than two weeks.

He tried not to make much of it at first, trying to convince himself that Newt had other things to do and was probably meeting friends or doing chores. The thought that maybe he was in an accident with his stupid motorcycle occurred to Thomas a lot, but he pushed it away as fast as possible anytime it came up. God, he really hated that thing.

Thomas didn’t want to come off as too needy or demanding, so he never asked Newt about it. It also seemed inappropriate to invade Newt’s personal space like that, knowing that he wouldn’t like that either. So, against his urge to text Newt every other minute of the day, Thomas decided to be a decent human being with common sense and tried not to be too annoying for once.

But he couldn’t deny, nor hide how much he missed talking to Newt about random topics and receiving cute pictures of his everyday activities. And the less messages he received, the more insecure the boy grew.

It only got worse when the texts from Newt started to become more distant as well. On Friday afternoon they could still talk about something coherently, while on Saturday morning, Newt barely reacted to anything Thomas told him, only throwing in some bland _Sure.’_ s and _That’s funny.’_ s.

At least they _felt_ bland to Thomas and he hated it. Minho tried to calm his over-heating mind by telling him that ‘the guy’s probably just having a bad day’ and that it will be ‘back to normal soon’, all with a look in his eyes that Thomas couldn’t quite pin down.

But after all, he was pretty sure that Minho didn’t really think much of Newt. Thomas couldn’t blame him. After all, Newt had caused quite the emotional chaos inside of Thomas, positive as well as negative.

Sadly, the only emotions Thomas felt right now where on the latter side. Because even when Newt would finally text him back, the words seemed distant, almost as if he wasn’t really answering any of Thomas’ questions or reacted to any of his little stories about stuff that happened to him throughout the day.

When Thomas had asked about their date next week, the only answer he could get out of Newt was that he didn’t know when he had time and that he would think about it. They hadn’t spoken about it since.

Thomas felt more anxious with every passing day, new thoughts popping into his head every now and then, everyone worse than the ones before.

He tried to figure out what went wrong and why Newt apparently seemed to have lost interest in him. In his eyes, the date went extremely well and from what he could tell, Newt had felt the same when they parted ways on Wednesday night, telling each other good night with one last and almost desperate kiss at three in the morning.

Thomas had fallen asleep in his 10 am class the next day, but to him it was worth it. But that was also when the distance between them started to drift further again and no matter how much Thomas thought about it, he couldn’t wrap his mind around how it happened.

Did he say something wrong, even though Newt never complained?

Did he go too fast, even though Newt never stopped him?

Did he talk too much, even though Newt said he didn’t mind?

And after all, Newt seemed like someone who wouldn’t hold back when something was bothering him.

Or Thomas’ skills at reading people were worse than he had initially assumed.

Whatever it was, Thomas wanted it to be over as fast as possible. He wanted to text Newt again without feeling like an utter annoyance to the blond. He was sure that this wasn’t Newt’s intention, but Thomas’ mind liked to spin thoughts that made him get caught in a web of self-doubt and anxiety.

And he needed Newt to cut him free.

To his dismay, it was Sunday evening and Newt still hadn’t come around with his scissors to release the suffering boy from his thought-prison.

So Thomas just lay in his bed, scrolling through Instagram mindlessly and hoped for a text from Newt, maybe telling him that he had a stressful week and that he could talk more again now.

Or not, Thomas wouldn’t mind that much as long as he could just _know_ why Newt was basically ghosting him. Just a quick explanation to calm his spiraling mind, that’s all he wanted. He only wanted Newt to confirm that he was no burden, like his mind was constantly hammering into his brain.

But instead of a relieving text from Newt, Minho made his way into Thomas’ cloudy mind.

“And you’re really sure you don’t want to come with me? Would be a nice distraction,” Minho said while leaning against the door frame, arms crossed and a concerned look on his face.

“Nah,” was all Thomas felt comfortable to reply. He looked at his best friend for a second without moving his head, then drew his attention back to the mildly concerning life hacks on his phone screen. “But have fun.”

Minho left his gaze on Thomas for a few more moments before turning away with a sigh.

“I left you dinner in the fridge, don’t forget about it.”

“Wait, how late is it?” Thomas didn’t expect an answer, since he could easily check the time on his phone. A wave of disbelieve flooded through him when he saw the tiny digits in the upper right corner telling him that it was already past 8.

 _What the fuck, wasn’t it like 5 when I checked last time?_ , Thomas thought while finally turning his head to the door where Minho had stood a few seconds before.

“How long are you gonna be away, Min?”

The black haired boy appeared in the door frame again, now fully dressed to go out, hands in the pockets of his long black coat. Thomas always felt jealous of how _good_ Minho looked in that stupid thing. When _he_ wore something like that, people would probably mistake him for a box on stumpy little legs. But with his broad shoulders and his long legs, Minho could just Pull It Off.

“I don’t know yet, depends on how long Gally wants to stay, I guess,” Minho replied with a shrug.

“Don’t you have class tomorrow morning?”

“I’ll just skip if it gets too late.” Another shrug. “Oh don’t look at me like that, not everyone is an over-achiever like you,” he added upon seeing Thomas’ incredulous face.

The brunet wanted to say something but held back when he thought about how he had also slept through his class after the date with Newt.

The Newt who apparently didn’t want to talk to him anymore.

While Thomas’ thoughts were drifting away once again, Minho was already on his way to the front door, shouting a “See you later. Or tomorrow, we’ll see,” in his direction before leaving their apartment.

Thomas didn’t feel like answering.

In fact, he felt more like just Lying There for the rest of the night and staring at his phone until his eyes hurt. Which they already did anyway.

After another thirty minutes of drying his eyes out, the grumble in his stomach finally grew loud enough not to be ignored anymore. Thomas waited another five minutes before he finally dragged his legs over the edge of the bed and stood up, realizing that the light in his room had been out all this time.

_When did it get so dark…?_

He had to blink against the flickering hallway light a few times before his eyes got used to the sudden light. When he made his way to the kitchen in the same unenthusiastic way he made it out of his room, Thomas let his hand slip into the pocket of his hoodie and made the realization that he forgot his phone on the bed.

But he couldn’t be bothered to go back to grab it, since he had already made it to the kitchen and feared that he would just plop down on the bed again if he made the attempt.

When he opened the fridge a promising plate of pasta immediately caught his eyes, beaming at him like it was his first meal in weeks.

_How the fuck did I not realize how hungry I am?_

He grabbed the plate, closed the fridge door and walked over to the microwave, because no matter how loud his stomach was grumbling right now, he wasn’t quite hungry enough to devour a cold serving of spaghetti.

Just _almost_ hungry enough.

It was only when he closed the microwave door again that he noticed the bright pink sticky note stuck to the glass. Thomas immediately recognized Minho’s handwriting, way neater than anyone ever expected.

_And how did I not notice this earlier??_

Thomas was slowly but surely starting to question his sanity, but the words on the garish coloured piece of paper were able to finally put a smile on the boy’s face.

_Love fucking sucks!!_

“You’re stupid,” Thomas mumbled to the not-present Minho with a roll of his eyes, but the smile stayed for another few seconds.

The rest of the evening went by in a pretty uneventful manner. Thomas just sat in the kitchen in silence, eating his meal without really enjoying it (even though it would have been delicious if he wouldn’t be feeling so numb right now, he was sure about that).

After that, he went back to his room to return to his previous activity and that’s as exciting as it got. Until he got a text message. But this time, it was not Newt.

**Minhoe**

omfg thomas [22:45]

i might be hooking up with THE hottest guy!! [22:45]

It took Thomas a few seconds to take the words on the bright screen in, but when he finally did, he sat up immediately, leaning over with a wide grin and typing faster than it should be possible.

**Thomas’ phone**

WHAT [22:46]

MINHO WHAT [22:46]

FOR REAL??.? [22:46]

INEDD TO KNOW EVRYTHING [22:46]

WHAT DOES HE LOLK LIKE??? [22:46]

MINHOO!!!! [22:47]

**Minhoe**

omg chill lol [22:48]

don’t have much time he’s getting us drinks right now [22:48]

the whole fucking deal! [22:49]

might take him and his cute ass home tonight~ [22:49]

**Thomas’ phone**

SALJASCLKAVN [22:49]

MINHO [22:50]

HOLY FUCK [22:50]

FUCKING CASANOVA OMG [22:50]

**Minhoe**

lol [22:51]

is that okay with you? [22:51]

**Thomas’ phone**

omg yeah sure!!!! [22:51]

go get him, min!!!!! [22:52]

thanks for the warning btw, I’ll definitely put my headphones in haha [22:52]

**Minhoe**

haha thanks ily bro [22:53]

**Thomas’ phone**

love you too lol [22:53]

be save!! [22:53]

**Minhoe**

omfg [22:54]

yeah MOM [22:54]

When Thomas put his phone down again, a wide grin was adorning his face. He could barely believe this, _Minho would take someone home_! That hadn’t happened in _ages_! Actually, it had only happened once and resulted in their toilet being clocked by a toy car, but that’s a completely different story.

Thomas had almost forgotten about his gloomy mood, but the word almost is known to be a bitch. And even though he was happy that Minho was apparently having fun, he just hoped that he would get home safely. Who knows what kind of creeps where out there.

He started to begin to understand why Minho was so concerned about the whole Newt thing.

That was also the reason why he decided to stay awake until Minho and his mysterious hookup would come home, just to be sure. Turns out he had to wait for almost another three hours until he heard the key being turned in the lock after some audible failed attempts to get it in.

 _Woah, someone has had too much to drink_ , Thomas thought while quickly putting in his headphones, the feeling of relief spreading inside of him.

He waited another second to hear if Minho was alone, but a silent rumble followed by a quite laugh and his silent whispers proved the opposite. Thomas rolled his eyes with a small grin and turned on his music, putting it on almost full volume. Just in case.

The soothing voice of his favourite podcaster filled his head and Thomas relaxed more and more. He thought that maybe he could make breakfast for Minho and his _date?_ in the morning if he woke up in time. Or is that something weird to do?

He couldn’t finish the thought as the sweet narration about cosmic radiation put him to sleep beforehand.

The first thing Thomas did after waking up from his way too loud alarm blaring in his ears, was to check his phone for any new messages from Newt. He didn’t know why he expected him to text back in the deep hours of the night, but Thomas was a hopeful person.

He was met with disappointment.

It took another few minutes of scrolling through twitter until Thomas remembered yesterday night and a small smile crept up his tired face.

The clock on his phone showed 08:14 and since he had some more time until he had to get ready for his class later, he decided that maybe he could actually prepare a small breakfast for Minho and his one night stand (or maybe more?).

At least he could atone for the diner Minho left for him last night, he wasn’t sure if he could have gathered the strength to actually prepare something himself.

He considered putting on at least _some_ kind of decent cloths, they had a guest after all, but he was pretty sure that both of them would still be asleep after last night. And they would probably still be when Thomas would leave the house, therefore he didn’t worry about looking like a functioning member of society.

So Thomas made his way into the kitchen. The old pair of boxer shorts and the oversized shirt he stole from his dad at one point made him look like a cute fool. The bedhead completed the look and Thomas was pretty certain that he looked like a 16 year old boy who was woken up by his mom vacuuming in front of his room after he had played video games all night.

Not that _that_ had ever happened to him.

To his surprise, Thomas was met by the wonderful smell of coffee coming from the kitchen. He marveled about how both, or one of them, was apparently already up and about and hoped that it was Minho and not a complete stranger standing in the kitchen.

His hopes were neither met, nor taken away.

Which should probably be considered as _not so bad_.

But it was, in fact, very bad.

Because standing in front of him, only dressed in dark red briefs and a messily buttoned blue shirt that Thomas instantly recognized as Minho’s was not his best friend.

Or a stranger.

No.

It was Newt.


	6. It Ain't So Bad If You Wanna Make A Couple Mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which poor Gally gets ignored without even realizing it, Newt and Minho make a rating of suggestively named cocktails and Newt judges Thomas and Minho’s nonexistent taste in coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another song recommentdation!  
> Midnight Sky by Miley Cyrus, it basically sets the vibe for this chapter.
> 
> cw with mild spoilers:  
> getting drunk + implied nsfw around the end of the chapter 
> 
> enjoy!

What Minho didn’t know when he left the comfort of his apartment on Friday night to head out and meet Gally at their favourite bar, was that this exact action would trigger a series of events that would pretty much change the course of his whole life.

Instead, his mind was focused on his best friend, like it had been most of the time this past week.

He had asked Thomas about ten times if he wanted to join Gally and him, treat himself to some drinks and just get his mind of that weird guy for one evening. Needless to say, all of his attempts to get the brunet out of his stuffy room were met with rejection.

Minho felt kind of bad for leaving Thomas alone with his thoughts and was debating if he should turn around and force him to have a movie night at home instead, but Gally was already on his way and he also didn’t want to leave him hanging.

The nights were getting colder with every passing day of fall and Minho was freezing when he arrived at the sparsely visited bar, despite of his thick coat. Maybe he should have worn more than a thin dark blue shirt underneath, but that realization came to him too late anyway. The things you do for Fashion.

Gally was already waiting outside of the bar, hand’s buried deep inside his pockets and his usual resting expression of resentment on his face. At least he was kind enough to crack a smile when he noticed Minho.

“Since when are you late to anything?”, was the thing Gally decided to say instead of a normal greeting.

A hint of confusion ran over Minho’s face before he pulled out his phone to check the time. It was in fact already five minutes past their pre-agreed meeting time, which was -considering Minho’s usual accuracy regarding punctuality - actually too late.

But he just gave it a shrug while putting his phone back into the pocket of his coat.

To be honest, Minho didn’t even like the coat that much when it first arrived, feeling like it made him look too much like a ‘pretentious Brit attending a private college his parent’s payed for’.

When he had tried it on in his room, checking himself out in his dirty floor length mirror with a look of indecisiveness, Thomas happened to walk in. He had already started his sentence when he stopped in his tracks and looked at Minho with those stupid wide puppy eyes.

_“Holy shit, Min! You look so fucking cool with this, like that Matrix dude!”_

Minho ignored the fact that Thomas had actually never seen The Matrix but hey, who wouldn’t want to be compared to Keanu Reeves?

So he decided to keep the coat and it grew on him quickly.

But only because he got compared to Mister Reeves himself, not because it was Thomas giving him that compliment. Obviously.

That coat was now hanging at a coat hook on the wall of the bar. Minho and Gally had made their way inside, walking straight towards the bar area where they sat down on two stools and ordered their drinks.

It’s not that Minho didn’t enjoy talking to Gally, they had known each other for two years after all and they saw each other almost every day at Uni. But he hadn’t been feeling too well during the last week and telling Gally about all the different things that were going on inside of his head felt inappropriate, to some extent.

In different circumstances, he would probably have talked to Thomas about all these thoughts inside his head, but first, he was part of one or more of those problems and second, he had different things in mind right now.

And Minho didn’t want to bother him, which is always a great coping mechanism.

And so is drowning your sorrows in alcohol, right?

Only that instead of the unwinding apathy Minho had hoped for, the drinks only made him become more sentimental than before.

At some point, he stopped listening to what Gally told him and yes, it made him feel like a bad friend, but he couldn’t help but let his thoughts drift away. He didn’t know if it was the alcohol or the dim lights or the stifling warmth of the building or his spiraling thoughts or all of these combined.

But the combination just made him want to go home and hide in his bed, fall asleep and complain about his possible hangover to Thomas the next morning.

Or maybe Thomas would still be awake and they could hang out for a bit longer, watch a movie or just talk to each other for the rest of the night just like they used to when they were still 16 and didn't already feel tired at 10 pm.

Since he was already thinking about his best friend, he might as well elaborate on these thoughts.

The truth was: Minho was fucking worried. He actually started missing the hyperactive Thomas from a few days ago and would trade him for the sad mess that barely left his room anymore any day.

His aversion against that stupid guy who made his best friend feel like shit grew with every passing second, fueled by the alcohol like a wildfire on a dry summer day.

How could someone treat Thomas, the literal embodiment of a Good Person, like this?

Sure, sometimes he talked too much and didn't know when to stop, sometimes he was awkward and clumsy and sometimes he was just overall _weird_ and annoying to deal with but Minho knew that he was worth all of these inconveniences.

Because that's what they were after all. _Inconveniences._

They were nothing compared to Thomas’ loyalty and his compassion and his stupid jokes that are so stupid that they shouldn't make Minho laugh but they do and his dorky ass smile that lit up his whole face and-

“Anyway, I’ll ask that cute guy over there if he wants to play pool, if that's okay with you,” Gally finally said and therefore pulled Minho out of his train of thoughts that was increasingly starting to confuse him.

Must have been the alcohol.

Definitely the alcohol.

“Yeah uh, whatever. Good luck,” was all Minho managed to answer, still unable to fully process the feelings that were currently bubbling up inside of him.

Gally nodded while standing up and grabbing his half full pint of beer. He looked at Minho with raised eyebrows and a slight glimpse of concern in his eyes.

“I won't be mad if you decide to go home early, you look pretty fucked up to be honest.”

“Well aren't you the nicest little sunshine.”

“Shut up, dude.” Gally regarded him with one last crooked grin before patting Minho’s shoulder like a Real Bro and wandering off to his soon to be new acquaintance.

Minho looked after him for another moment before he turned back and was met with the sight of his own glass of beer, still almost full since he had ordered the refill not too long ago.

And now he was sitting there, alone with his swirling thoughts and that stupid pint he felt obligated to finish before leaving for good, returning to the comfort of his home and the comfort of knowing that Thomas was close.

He mentally cursed at his foggy brain for allowing thoughts like this, especially right now. Minho knew that he had these thoughts hidden deep inside of him, buried under a thick layer of sarcasm and other methods of repression that he had acquired through the years.

His grip around the glass grew tighter and he pulled it to his lips quickly. For a short second in which he almost lost his self-control and maybe also his dignity, Minho contemplated to just finish his beer in one go, smacking the glass down on the counter and leaving like he was the protagonist of a shitty action movie.

But thankfully his brain was still able to give at least some kind of responsible judgement and so he only took a few sips before putting the glass down again, not exactly carefully but at least not as forcefully as his drunken brain had wanted him to.

His number one priority right now was to keep his mind off Thomas, knowing that if he didn't, one thing would lead to another and the chest where he had hidden those weird feelings for his best friend would break open for good.

And that was the last thing he needed right now.

It was all going well until that stupid stranger had to show up, completely mixing up Thomas emotions and at the same time awakening feelings inside of Minho that he had successfully repressed up until now.

Now that he sat there in this stuffy bar, all by himself with his nasty cheap beer that was already too warm to still be somewhat enjoyable, allowing his thoughts to wander in a direction he would never dare to take if he was sober, Minho could finally put a name to the feeling that had been bothering him through the last two weeks.

Jealousy.

It would have been easier if he could just pin it down to that, but there were several aspects to that jealousy.

But before he was able to continue this thought and dig deeper into the wound that was starting to break open inside his chest, he noticed a movement in the corner of his eyes, drawing his attention to the space where Gally was sitting before.

The stool that should have been empty was now occupied by someone who looked at Minho without shame, eyebrows drawn together as if to show empathy.

But Minho didn't know this guy and he was just about to ask what the fuck he thought he was doing there when the stranger spoke up.

“Hey, sorry but is this seat taken?”

“Do you see anyone sitting here?”

At this point Minho was fed up with this day to the point where he didn't even try to be nice to some weird stranger. Especially when he just decided to sit down next to people who were obviously trying to mind their own business.

But to his surprise, the guy next to him gave off a soft chuckle and for some reason, Minho felt bad for snapping at him like that.

“Not having the best day today, aren't you?”

“What makes you think I'm having a bad day? I'm a literal fucking ray of sunshine,” Minho countered, but couldn't bring himself to use the same harsh tone as before. He almost sounded desperate, which was an emotion he hated showing in front of others.

Especially in front of weird guys at stinky bars.

 _Attractive_ weird guys at stinky bars.

Maybe he was able to get Minho's mind off all the other things, he might as well take a shot at this point. Even if it was just a bit of senseless chit chat, a little distraction was exactly what his restless mind needed right now.

During Minho’s thought process, the stranger had propped his elbow on the counter, resting his head in his palm and looking at Minho with a mixture of concern and curiosity. He noticed how dark the stranger’s eyes were.

“So you’re drinking your problems away with alcohol? Cheers to that,” the guy said with a thin smile, clinking his glass against Minho’s that he was still holding onto tightly. “Name’s Newt by the way,” he added before taking a sip of his orange cocktail through a bright pink straw.

His deep brown eyes were still lingering on Minho, who couldn’t look away for some reason. There was no point in denying that Newt was handsome and Minho would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy looking at him. His long blond hair was open and tucked behind his ear on one side and the tight dark red t-shirt complimented his body type perfectly.

“Minho,” he finally said, taking his eyes off Newt and taking another sip of his beer. For some reason, it seemed to be tasting better than a few minutes before. “Do you do this often?”

“Do what more often?” Newt looked at him with a confused look, one side of his mouth curling upward slightly. The dim yellow light from the old lamp above their heads got caught in his hair, making it look like he was glowing, a soft halo framing his head.

“Sit down beside strangers at a bar. Like seriously, who does that?”

“Oh, that,” Newt finally caught on with a small grin, “Yeah, no. You just looked kinda sad and I thought some company wouldn’t hurt you.”

“What are you, a therapist?”

“Not really, I just work with sad people a lot,” he regarded with a shrug, but Minho noticed the small glint of sadness sparking up in his eyes for the fraction of a second. He decided not to push further.

“Well, then you should probably learn to separate work from your free time,” Minho said with a humorless huff, quickly looking away from Newt again who gave off a silent laugh.

“Don’t worry about it. I also came here because you’re hot, so-“, he started his sentence but had to interrupt himself to pat Minho on the back, who had just chocked on his lukewarm beer. “Shit, sorry! You alright?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” Minho croaked, coughing and knocking his fist against his chest as if it would help by any means.

“Was that too straight forward?”

“No, just,” another caught before he looked at him again, eyes slightly watery, “Unexpected.”

Newt’s hand was still resting on his back and the gentle rubbing motion sent a shiver down Minho’s spine. He blamed it on the alcohol sharpening his senses. Blaming alcohol on everything was the way to go tonight.

“Unexpected? Come on, don’t tell me you’ve never gotten a compliment in your life.” The blond’s warm smirk made Minho’s heart skip a beat, which confused him yet again. He wasn’t like this at all, that whole love-at-first-sight-bullshit was not his thing.

The alcohol. Must have been the alcohol.

“Plenty, actually.” Minho said, finally regaining his confidence and returning Newt’s smirk. “It’s just weird when some guy tells you that you look sad and hot in the span of a minute. Sounds kinda sadistic to be honest.”

Newt stared at him for a second before breaking into a laugh, not a silent one like before, but a full on laugh that made his cheeks turn pink and crinkled his nose and made a few strands of hair fall into his face.

Minho could only think of one person who’s laugh was more beautiful.

But he didn’t dare to finish this thought.

“I’m making a good first impression on you, I see,” Newt said while still trying to hold back another laugh, his eyes almost sparkling. It was obvious that he had already had a drink or two.

“I witnessed far worse attempts at flirting, don’t worry about it.” He was friends with Thomas after all.

“So I still have a chance with you then?”

Minho blinked at him, slowly, before finally breaking into a short laugh himself. He was in fact extremely straight forward, but that’s a quality Minho appreciated in people after all. And he couldn’t deny that he already liked Newt.

“Well, you’d have to try a little harder. But yeah, you’ve still got a chance.” Minho couldn’t help but smile, which felt so good after the gloomy mood that had surrounded him the past week like a dark cloud.

“Try harder? Alright then.” The blond turned his head around, scanning the area behind him for the barkeeper and waving at her with a sweet smile when he finally spotted her. “Hey, can we have, uhh…,” he scanned the blackboard with the menu briefly before turning back to the woman at the bar again with an almost mischievous grin. “The Sweet Passion? Twice? Please?”

Minho tried to contain a snort but failed miserably, making him receive a weirded out look from the bartender. “You’re not even trying to be subtle. I like that confidence.”

“Oh? What else do you like?” Newt resumed to his previous position, chin in his hand and looking directly at Minho. The way Newt’s eyes examined his face made him feel like the blond actually cared about what he was going to say. That he was eager to listen.

So Minho talked.

And as they talked, none of them even noticed how fast the minutes went by or how fast they emptied their glasses, trying out the cocktails with the weirdest names – Dark Lust and Ecstatic Epiphany were their favourites.

Minho couldn’t remember the last time he clicked with someone so quickly. Talking to Newt felt like talking to a friend you have known for ages. They laughed about weird anecdotes from their lives, and the next second, they were debating about philosophical questions.

It just felt so nice.

It felt nice to talk to someone so carelessly. It felt nice to be listened to. It felt nice to get a different view on the world around him. It felt nice to flirt and be flirted back at, to feel desired by someone. It just felt nice talking to Newt.

Minho learned that he was working at the city’s LGBT+ center, which he respected deeply. He knew that Brenda went there when she had been in a bad place and she talked about the center like it was heaven. When he told Newt, there was a slight glimpse of surprise in his eyes, but it vanished quickly and Minho gave it no further thought.

He told Newt about his living situation and that he couldn’t wait until he and his roommate were finally done studying so they could move out of their shabby little apartment. Newt was about to ask about his roommate but couldn’t finish his question when Gally appeared to say goodbye, dragging the guy from before along with a suggestive smirk. Newt had forgotten his question after they left.

They moved over to a much cozier area after that, seated far more back than the bar stools who had grown to be uncomfortable over an hour ago. The couch they were sitting on was not the most comfortable either, but so much better than the hard wood from before. It also gave them the chance to be even closer to each other, which was very welcomed by both of them.

When Newt got up to get them another round of drinks, like the absolute British gentleman he was, Minho pulled out his phone with a huge grin that he just couldn’t hide anymore. He typed as fast as he could, trying to give Thomas as much information as he could get out of his fuzzy brain in the short amount of time Newt was gone.

When the blond returned, hair pulled back in a messy bun and cheeks slightly red from the alcohol, Minho couldn’t take his eyes of him anymore. Something inside of him wanted to draw him closer, press their lips together and not let him go for the rest of the night.

_Fucking alcohol._

Newt sat down again after putting their drinks down on the coffee table and Minho couldn’t tell if it was his third cocktail playing tricks on his mind or if the blond was actually leaning in closer than before. After texting Thomas he had felt kind of naïve for thinking that he would take his new acquaintance home tonight, but when his glassy eyes caught Newt staring at his lips without a care in the world of getting caught, he knew that there was no reason for that felling.

Their gazes met again and Minho noticed a slight shift in Newt’s eyes, as if something were going on inside of his head.

“Min, can I ask you something?”, he said in a hushed voice that made his words almost sound a little somber. Minho was so thrown off by the sudden change of mood that he couldn’t even question the nickname.

“Sure, you can ask me anything.” Maybe that was an exaggeration, but for some reason he found himself to trust Newt more than he probably should, he only met him a few hours ago after all.

Newt nodded slowly before lowering his gaze again, but he didn’t look at Minho’s lips this time. He seemed to be thinking about something and looked back up, locking eyes with Minho.

“Why were you feeling sad before?”

That was most definitely not what Minho was expecting. And some last rational part of his brain that seemed to be unaffected by the alcohol yet told him that it was none of Newt’s business, he wasn’t supposed to know these details about Minho’s life just yet.

(Implying that they would see each other again, which Minho wasn’t completely sure about yet. But he had a spark of hope inside of him.)

But unfortunately, that last rational part was nothing against the sudden urge to overshare building up inside of Minho, and suddenly, the words were just flooding out if him.

“Well, shit. It’s a lot, actually. Okay, maybe not that much, but just- I’m kinda not where I want to be in life right now? I think I don’t even really know _where_ I want to be, but this is not it. I fucking hate what I’m studying and it’s getting worse every week, I just can’t bring myself to do anything for Uni anymore, it just feels so fucking pointless. And I mean, yeah, I only have a year left but I just don’t know if I can manage that. On the other hand I don’t want all those years of studying to go down the fucking drain, you know?”

He interrupted himself to look at Newt, slightly unsure of himself and if he should continue. But the way the blond looked at him with those dark caring eyes courage him to go on.

“And then my best friend is also having a shit time and I have the feeling that no matter what I do, nothing is helping him. Like, I’m trying to be there for him and all but he just shuts himself away and it’s…I don’t know, exhausting? Fuck, I just want this stupid idiot to be happy again. I fucking hate seeing him like this, it’s almost like this fucking asshead of a guy turned him into a completely different person.”

Newt’s brows where twitching slightly, as if he wanted to ask about it. But apparently, he decided that Minho should get everything out of his system first, which he was very thankful for.

“Also…there’s like…other things going around inside of my head but…,” he let out a deep sigh. “Yeah. I don’t know. Can’t really grasp them.”

_That’s a lie, I think I’m in love with my best friend and it fucking sucks._

His mind blanked for a second.

_Fuck._

He didn’t have time to process the realization that just hit him like a truck on the highway, before he felt a warm touch on his upper arm. His eyes darted up to meet Newt’s, who looked at him in a concerned way.

Minho must have looked pretty out of it, apparently.

“Min-“

“What about you?”

“Huh?” Newt blinked at him, drawing his brows together in confusion. “What about me?”

“You can’t tell me that you only approached me because you thought I looked sad earlier.” He let out a humorless huff. “Or because you thought I’m hot or whatever.”

A few moments passed in which none of them said anything, their gazes lingering on each other on the search for answers.

Finally, Newt spoke up again, a sad smile adorning his face. Minho had the strong urge to kiss it off his lips, but he pushed that away quickly.

“Just…love trouble, I guess?”

“Love trouble?” Minho tried to hide his surprise, but once again, the cocktails from before backstabbed him. “They don’t like you back or-?”

Newt’s laugh seemed out of place. “Hm. I wouldn’t say that. He’s just…” His gaze grew stiffer, looking slightly past Minho as if there was a TV running behind him. Which he knew wasn’t the case.

The grip around Minho’s arm loosened up again and Newt’s soft fingertips were now tracing over his skin gently, causing goosebumps to appear under their touch. It felt like small flashes of electricity were running through Minho’s arm, the alcohol making him more sensitive than usual.

“Do you…want to talk about him?”

Newt shook his head softly, slowly focusing his gaze again and looking back at Minho with the same sad smile from before.

“Honestly…I think I just want to forget about him right now.”

 _I feel you_ , Minho thought and the urge tearing inside of him, pulling him towards Newt, grew even stronger. They both wanted the same and they both knew how to get it.

One of them had to take the first step.

So Minho did.

“Newt, I want to kiss you like, really fucking bad right now.”

The blond blinked at him for a second, before the smile finally lost its hint of sadness. Minho’s heart skipped a beat. His voice was only a whisper when Newt answered.

“Then do it.”

Minho didn’t need to be told twice.

He leaned forward, burying his hand in Newt’s hair – it was as soft as it looked – and pulling him closer until their lips met, moving against each other hungrily. There was absolutely no doubt that Newt wanted this as badly as he did and it made everything so much better.

The world around them faded into a blur, the voices filling the room grew duller until they seemed to disappear, drowned by the sound of Minho’s blood rushing through his ears. All he could feel were Newt’s lips on his own, Newt’s fingertips tracing over his arms until they reached his neck, nails digging into the soft skin so that it made Minho shiver.

Newt tasted like alcohol just as much as he did like a mixture of all different kinds of fruits that were mixed into their cocktails, but Minho couldn’t be bothered to make any of them out.

He felt something pulling on his shirt eagerly, trying to get him closer. It made him huff a short laugh into the kiss, which Newt silenced immediately. But he couldn’t hide the glimpse of a smile Minho felt against his lips.

When they pulled away eventually, both needing to catch their breaths, none of them were able to look away. Minho had assumed that the world would start to spin again, but it didn’t. All there was, was Newt.

Only Newt.

And his insanely dark eyes Minho just couldn’t get enough of.

“My place is close, we would have a little more privacy there,” Minho said between two heavy breaths, speaking before he even thought about it.

He could feel Newt’s laugh tickle against his lips, making him want to steal another kiss in an instant. And then another. And not stop that process for the rest of the night.

“Sure we won’t bother your roommate?” Their lips were brushing against each other as Newt spoke, sending bolts of electricity through Minho’s body.

“He’ll be fine.” The last syllables were muted when Minho pulled Newt into another kiss, more longing and far more demanding this time. Newt responded immediately, leaning closer into the kiss an digging his fingers deeper into Minho’s skin.

The world around them could have been falling to pieces and they wouldn’t have noticed.

When the two of them stumbled out of the bar later (it took them some time to finally break away from each other), they were giggling and holding on to each other like two teenagers who just shared their first kiss, cheeks red and eyes filled with excitement.

Somehow, they made their way to Minho’s apartment. And yes, they would have been way faster if they hadn’t stopped every few steps for a short make out session in the middle of the sidewalk, like some weirdos.

They didn’t give a single care in the world though.

And when they finally arrived, Newt basically couldn’t get his hand’s off Minho, teasing him by tugging on his shirt playfully when he had trouble getting that ‘stupid fucking key’ inside of the lock.

When the stubborn obstacle was finally overcome, the next one was right around the literal corner, presenting itself in the form of a pair of dark green Converse sneakers that were apparently left in the middle of the hallway carelessly.

Newt tripped over the inconveniently placed shoes, holding onto Minho quickly so he wouldn’t fall over.

“You okay?”, Minho whispered after letting out a silent laugh, wrapping one arm around Newt’s shoulders and pulling him closer.

The blond’s gaze lingered on the sneakers for a second before he turned his head to face Minho again, pulling him into the thousandth kiss of the night instead of giving him an answer.

Maybe if Newt had looked at the shoes a little longer, he would have recognized the splash of white paint on the right one that made them unmistakably Thomas’. Or if he had paid a bit more attention when they arrived at the building, he would have realized that it was the same where he had picked up Thomas just a few days ago, instead of being glued to Minho’s lips.

But he didn’t. And that’s how he found himself in an unfamiliar bed, cloths thrown on the floor carelessly, trying not to make too much noise so Minho’s poor roommate wouldn’t be scared for a lifetime.

They succeeded only partially on that last part.

So when they lied next to each other an undefined amount of time later, Newt’s head resting on Minho’s shoulder who ran his hand through the blond hair softly, Newt gave off a silent laugh, voice still a bit raucous.

“Fuck. I hope we didn’t traumatize your roommate. Wouldn’t want to be responsible for that.”

“Told you, he’ll be fine. Also, I warned him beforehand,” Minho said with a casual shrug and a crooked grin. His whole body was aching, some parts of his skin were almost burning from the marks Newt had left on him, standing in contrast to the gentle touch of his fingers that were tracing small circles onto Minho’s chest right now.

“Huh, if you say so.” The blond looked at his fingers, changing the invisible pattern they were drawing on Minho’s skin. “What’s he like?”

“My roommate?” Minho lifted his head a little bit so that he could get a better look at Newt, who had also turned his head slightly upwards to meet Minho’s gaze. “He’s…well, nice? And a pain in the ass sometimes, but you know, also my best friend.”

Newt nodded slowly and gave Minho a warm smile, resting his head on the man’s chest to keep looking at him. “You think I’ll meet him tomorrow morning?” He blinked, the expression on his face turning slightly more unsure of himself. “I mean, if you want me to stay that long.”

Minho blinked at him in confusion before returning the smile, pulling on Newt’s hair playfully. “You really thought I’d throw you out? How heartless do you think I am?”

The annoyed grunt coming from the blond made Minho’s smile grow even wider.

“You know,” Minho continued, “Now that I think about it, he’d probably even make us breakfast if he manages to get his lazy ass out of bed before us.”

“Well then,” Newt said with a smile, propping himself up on top of Minho, leaning closer to place a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. “Should have fucked him instead, don’t you think?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Minho threw back at him with a grin before pulling him into another kiss, making Newt huff a humorous groan against his lips. It made something deep inside of Minho tingle and he was sure that this certainly wouldn’t be the last kiss of this night.

~°~

Newt let out a silent sigh of relieve when he actually found the bathroom behind the door he had opened very carefully. For a short second of panic he was worried that he would disturb Minho’s roommate on accident and that poor guy had probably already suffered enough last night.

When Newt threw himself a look in the mirror, ignoring the low quality printout of Jason Momoa on the wall next to it, a small smile appeared on his face, something that hadn’t happened too often lately. He examined the hickey on his neck, tracing over it with his cold fingers. Nothing he couldn’t cover with a conveniently placed strand of hair, but for now he decided to put it up into a messy bun anyway.

He hoped that, if he even got to meet the guy, Minho’s roommate wouldn’t be too pissed to find a barely dressed stranger in his apartment, but from what he had been told, he was a pleasant guy after all. Still, meeting your one night stand’s best friend was nothing Newt was too keen on doing.

The word ‘one night stand’ left a weird feeling inside of Newt’s chest and he decided to ignore it for now, his mood was way too good for that early in the morning and he wanted to embrace that right now.

So he made his way into the kitchen, deciding to find something to make for breakfast since Minho’s roommate apparently hadn’t found the strength to get out of bed yet. Might as well make a good first (and last?) impression on him.

He let his gaze wander through the tiny kitchen, impressed by how those two were even able to move in here at the same time without bumping into each other constantly.

Well, maybe they did.

Or Minho’s roommate was a lot shorter than him.

His eyes stopped at the sight of the kitchen table, which was honestly far tidier than he had expected. Only a lonely empty plate and a book about physics with a title that already sounded way to complicated for Newt to care were placed on the light wood. Newt’s thoughts shot to Thomas for a second, but he was able to redirect them again quickly.

There were dark thoughts bubbling inside of Newt, thoughts he really wanted to keep hidden away. Thoughts of guilt and regret, just as thoughts of longing and even loneliness. He didn’t want to deal with them right now.

What he wanted to do was to find something to make a tolerable cup of coffee, especially since he wasn’t used to waking up this early. Newt decided to blame it on the unfamiliar location.

It took him some time before he found the instant coffee. He was kind of disappointed but also slightly amused and he was sure that he would be able to deal with the bland taste of it for one morning.

The coffee was prepared quickly, since Newt decided to make Minho and his roommate a fresh one when they woke up and therefore only made one for himself. He was leaning against the counter, mug in his hand and gaze wandering through the kitchen.

The coffee gave off a nice warmth, heating up Newt’s constantly cold fingers. He decided to try and not think of anything while waiting for his beverage to cool down so it wouldn’t burn his tongue. At least nothing that would dull his mood.

His thoughts were occupied by Minho and the marks he left on his body when his attention was drawn to the open kitchen door, silent noises coming from the hallway as if someone were scuffing their way to the kitchen.

Newt was pretty sure that it couldn’t be Minho, since his room was located at the opposite end of the hallway, so it had to be his roommate. The blond straightened his back a bit and brushed a loose strand of hair behind his ear, putting on a polite smile and trying to look as nice and approachable as possible to the stranger.

But his carefully created demeanor crumbled to pieces immediately when a cute brunet with horribly messy hair and sleeping cloths that looked like he stole them from someone three sizes bigger than him appeared in the doorframe.

Their gazes met and Newt could tell that Thomas was just as shocked – no – _devasted_ to see him here as he was.

And there was only one word that Newt was able to think of in his awfully bizarre moment.

_Fuck._


	7. You're The Only Friend I Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Thomas leaves his apartment barefoot in the middle of fall, Minho almost gives Thomas a sugar shock and Thomas listens to a playlist with an unnecessarily long name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> buckle up, this is gonna be a sad one!
> 
> this chapter's vibes are presented to you by Ribs by Lorde

Thomas didn’t know that he was even capable of feeling this many emotions at once, but here he was, standing between the hallway and the kitchen, looking like he just rolled out of bed (which, technically, he did) and Newt in front of him looking like he had a rather wild night (which he also did).

The cocktail of emotions inside of him consisted of some nasty ingredients; confusion, betrayal and hurt just being some of them.

Part of him wanted to tell himself that this was all a bad dream, that his alarm would go off in a few seconds and release him from this nightmare. And that when he would grab his phone to turn the alarm off, a message from Newt would pop up, telling him that he was sorry for ignoring him and that they could meet up for a nice cup of coffee to talk about it.

Like that cup of coffee Newt was currently holding, knuckles white from grasping it too hard. For a second, Thomas was worried he would break it and burn his hands. But even though Newt was strong, he was probably not _that_ strong.

And Thomas didn’t really have the nerves to be thinking about the mug in Newt’s hands right now anyway. His gaze was drawn to Newt’s eyes instead, full of what the brunet identified as shock and utter consternation.

Well, Thomas couldn’t really blame him for that.

There were a lot of other think he could blame Newt for though.

Or at least things he wanted an explanation for, for example why the fuck he was standing in his kitchen half naked, upper body covered in hickeys that looked way too fresh for Thomas’ liking.

The explanation to that question happened to enter the scene just a second later.

“Oh, so you’ve already met each other,” Minho interrupted the silence, not knowing just how much truth that statement carried. He had that distinctive morning-after-smirk on his face and was not wearing much himself. But that was something Thomas was used to, not that he payed a lot of attention to that right now anyway.

It was hard to take his eyes off Newt, basically impossible. And so the blond happened to be the first one to break the eye contact, apparently not able to stand the hurt expression on Thomas’ face any longer.

“We, uh-“ Newt had to clear his throat in an attempt to regain his voice, but Thomas was quicker than that.

“I have to go.” Before either Newt or Minho could hold him back, or even say anything for that matter, Thomas turned on his heels and stumbled back into the hallway, bumping into his best friend in the process.

He felt like the walls were coming closer, ready to crush him between the cold merciless stone. Breathing became harder and harder with every step he took and it came close to a miracle that he didn’t stumble and fell to his knees.

The door slammed close behind him and Thomas hoped that it would make the constricting feeling inside his chest go away, but if anything it only grew bigger, ready to take him whole and make him stop breathing.

He stumbled towards his closet and pulled out the first pieces of clothing he could get his hands on, not caring if they would match or if they were appropriate for the weather. He just wanted to get out of here.

He _needed_ to get out of here.

Away from this apartment, away from the smell of coffee that lingered in his nose like an awful stench, away from Minho who probably didn’t even know what he did wrong and most importantly away from Newt, who shouldn’t be here in the first place.

Thomas didn’t care that he still had to brush his teeth or that he hadn’t had anything to eat yet. He just pulled his clothes over quickly, not being able to stand looking at himself in the mirror to check if his appearance was somewhat tolerable.

He didn’t care.

There was hope inside of him that he could get out of the apartment unnoticed, but he was proven to be wrong when he ran into Minho yet again while trying to escape his room, his mind clouded with too many thoughts at once.

He didn’t hear what his best friend said the first time and apparently Minho noticed, since his expression grew even more concerned than it already was.

“Thomas,” he said, voice filled with confusion and worry, “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

The brunet stared at him, not able to form any kind of meaningful sentence, let alone word. A silent shuffle coming from the other end of the hallway made him turn his head, the movement felt unnatural and too slow.

He was faced with the sight of Newt, looking so much paler than he did a few minutes before in their small kitchen with the first sun beams of the morning casting a soft light on his cheeks.

Why did he even notice this detail in the first place?

“How about you ask Newt _what’s wrong_?” His voice came out harsher than he had intended, while also sounding so fragile at the same time.

“Tommy, I-“

“Don’t fucki-“, Thomas wasn’t able to get any more words out of his mouth, voice shaky from the anger and the disappointment taking over his body and mind. He expected to snap, to scream or to find something else to vent his feelings in another way.

But all he felt was numbness.

He had to rip his eyes away from Newt, had to get out of here as fast as possible. So Thomas finally found the strength to push past Minho, almost stumbling over his shoes on the way. He looked down to his feet, mentally cursing at himself for always leaving his sneakers in the middle of the hallway after getting home.

In the heat of the moment, he decided to just grab them off the floor. Having to stay in this stuffy hallway for another minute to put his shoes on was one of the last things he wanted to do right now, so he made a dash for the door instead.

For the first time today, Thomas found himself to be lucky, since apparently Minho had forgotten do lock the door last night and the brunet didn’t have to search for the keys first.

_Oh how lucky I am that he was apparently occupied with making out with my fucking crush._

The harsh realization took his breath away once again and Thomas was almost feeling relived when he finally made it outside, slamming yet another door behind him. He felt like a stubborn teenager but it also felt so good to some extent, giving himself at least some kind of outlet for all the emotions bubbling inside of him like acid.

Thomas had already clumsily overcome half of the staircases when he realized that he still held his Chuck’s in his hand instead of wearing them on his feet. A laugh that felt extremely out of place escaped his lips. Thomas was sure that if anyone would have seen him like this, they would have declared him to be a complete idiot.

At least he felt like one. For standing in the middle of a staircase with his bare feet (apparently he also forgot to put on some socks) and laughing to himself. For running away like a coward. For trusting someone he barely knew.

The laugh was immediately chocked when that last thought popped up and just as suddenly as the laugh had appeared, so did the urge to cry.

He had trusted Newt.

He thought that what they had was something special, and yes it sounded Cliché As Fuck, but Thomas didn’t know how to express it in any other way.

The thought that maybe Minho could also be held accountable for what had happened last night didn’t cross his mind once. That was the only thing Thomas was 100% sure of. His best friend would not have slept with Newt if he had known who he was.

And well, Thomas had himself to blame for that. After all, it was him who made a joke out of not telling Minho Newt’s real name and it was also him who never showed Minho any pictures of Newt.

There was no way that his best friend knew what he was getting himself into.

And if Newt would have mentioned Thomas last night so that Minho would have found out, he wouldn’t have taken him home. There was absolutely no doubt about that.

When Thomas found himself on the sidewalk in front of the building, the first thing he noticed was the cold creeping up under his clothes and it was only now that he realized that he left basically _everything_ inside.

He didn’t have his jacket that was warm enough against the cold morning air and held his keys in its left pocket, his backpack containing everything he needed for Uni was still standing in the corner next to his desk and god knows where he left his phone.

Going back inside was out of the question, for the sake of Thomas’ dignity and also, and that’s probably the more important reason, his emotional well-being.

Not that it was very high at the moment anyway. But he was pretty sure that having to go up there and face him, face Newt, again would break him in one way or another. So he made the decision that the risk of catching a cold and the disapproving look from his strict professor were the lesser of two evils right now.

Turns out Thomas couldn’t even be bothered to realize the professor’s piercing eyes. His whole day went by in a haze, he didn’t speak to anyone, he hid somewhere where he could be alone during his breaks and tried to distract himself without his phone and in the lessons he didn’t pay a lot of attention, even though they were talking about one of his favourite topics.

And when the last class was over, Thomas being the first one to leave the stuffy room since he didn’t have anything to take with him anyway, he felt as if what had happened this morning was actually a bad dream.

Unfortunately, the logical part of his brain reminded him that it had been real in the cruelest ways, coming at him when he thought he was finally able to pay attention to the professor again or when he was drinking a cup of hot chocolate in the rearmost corner of the cafeteria, trying to feel better again.

The sheer thought of going home and being hit in the face by the smell of coffee and the image of Newt standing in their kitchen with this expression of pure horror made him want to turn around again and ask the professor if he could help with an experiment or even clean up the laboratory (the one thing he hated about his studies).

But he eventually made it outside and just when he was debating if he should go for a long walk to avoid heading home, a familiar long black coat caught his eye.

Thomas had expected to be hit by the urge to hide from his best friend, that he would try anything to avoid having to have The Talk he had been so anxious about all day. Instead, his steps grew bigger the closer he got to Minho and when he eventually found himself wrapped in his best friend’s arms, he could finally relax for the first time today.

“Shit, Thomas. How are you not freezing?”

“I am,” the brunet mumbled into the thick fabric of Minho’s coat, not ready to let go yet.

“Well, good thing I brought your jacket then.”

This time, Thomas actually leaned back a bit to throw his friend a puzzled look that was returned with a small grin. He looked down to see his jacket, casually hung over Minho’s arm and took it with a relieved sigh, stepping back and throwing it over immediately.

“Couldn’t find a chauffer in time, so we have to take the bus like the peasants, unfortunately,” Minho noted with a smirk and Thomas couldn’t help but smile for the first time today, even if it were small.

“Oh no. Hope nobody sees us like this, that would be so embarrassing.” Thomas’ voice sounded tired but was somehow still able to carry the humorous tone he had wanted to convey. Still, the smile couldn’t quite reach his eyes and Minho seemed to notice, the expression on his face turning softer and slightly more worried.

“Ready to head home?”

 _I don’t know, am I?_ Their apartment had always felt like the safest place on earth for Thomas, but right now everything in his body was resisting against going back there.

Minho noticed the hesitation in his eyes and let out a silent huff. “How about a walk? Now that you’re all warm and stuff.”

Thomas nodded slowly, relieved about not having to make the decision. Thankfully, he was fortunate enough to have a best friend that was basically able to read his mind.

And so the two of them made their way to the small park nearby. Minho insisted on stopping by a coffee shop to get both of them a hot drink while Thomas waited outside, telling Minho that he didn’t feel like being around any more people today.

When Minho returned, two cups with hot beverages in his hands, he gifted Thomas with a smile just as warm as their drinks.

“Got you this weird ass sugar bomb you like so much,” he said while handing Thomas the cup, who wrapped his hands around it immediately to profit off the comforting warmth it gave off.

“You mean a Caramel Double Fudge Frappuccino?”

“Yeah, the Sugar Up My Ass Coffeeshit, whatever,” he replied with his usual shitty grin and Thomas couldn’t help but laugh. It felt good, freeing somehow. Like the knot that had been hurting in his chest all day was finally starting to loosen just a little.

Yet there was still the Unspoken lingering between them and Thomas couldn’t tell how much longer he was able to stand it. But there was something inside of him that kept him from finally speaking up, from finally asking all the questions that were haunting his mind. He hoped that Minho would break the invisible wall between them, like he always did.

And he did, about 10 minutes later when they both sat down on a lonely bench in the park, shoulders touching and the hot cups warming their hands.

“You know, I kicked him out after he told me what was up with you two,” Minho said, lips almost touching the lid of his drink and eyes pinned to something in the distance Thomas couldn’t make out in the emerging darkness.

Thomas slid down lower in his seat and let out a silent sigh. He opened his mouth to say something but the lump in his throat hindered the words from coming out. Thankfully, Minho was a mind reader apparently.

“He told me why you two know each other and honestly, I already suspected it based on your reaction.” He took another sip and finally turned his head to look at Thomas, who didn’t look back at him. “Fuck…Thomas I swear, if I had known-“

“I know.” The brunet kept staring at the cup in his hands, not being able to find the strength to meet his best friend’s gaze or speak any louder than the weak whisper he had gotten out. His fingers were hurting and tingling from the sudden change of temperature but it was a refreshing feeling against the numbness that had been laying heavily on him all day.

Minho looked at him with his brows drawn together in concern. None of them said a thing for a few seconds before he broke the silence again.

“Please don’t tell me that you will talk to him again.”

The laugh coming from Thomas sounded less than half-hearted, but at least he was finally able to look Minho in the eyes. He felt so exhausted, so tired of _everything_.

“You really think I’m that stupid?”

The look on Minho’s face said it all.

“Okay yeah, maybe I am,” Thomas said with a slight hint of offence that made his voice sound a bit more stable at least. “But fuck, Minho. He’d need a damn good excuse for his behavior.”

Minho’s look was less than thrilled.

“You make it sound like you are actually _considering_ it, which is,” he raised his free hand I front of his chest, palm facing away from him, “no offence, but that’s just _stupid_.”

“Thanks, love you too,” Thomas replied, lips pouting slightly.

“You know what I mean. Don’t you think he has hurt you enough already? His behavior was sketchy from the beginning.”

“Well, but you fucked him a few hours after meeting him, so who has a bad sense of judgment now?” The words came out harsher than Thomas had wanted them to and he regretted them immediately, not wanting to let the steam boiling up inside of him all day out on Minho.

But he let out a silent huff, raised his eyebrows and gave off a slow nod. “Okay, yeah. We both do, I guess.”

Thomas stared at him for a second before letting out a desperate groan and letting his forehead sink against Minho’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Min. I’m not mad at you or anything, I’m really not. It’s just-“ He closed his eyes and drew his eyebrows together forcefully, biting his lip to get rid of the constricting feeling that was spreading in his chest. His voice came out much more silent this time and slightly shaky. “I really thought I meant something to him.”

He felt a strong arm being wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him closer. Another thing he felt were his eyes starting to burn, tears fighting their way out of his closed eyelids and onto his freezing cheeks.

It was not the first time that he cried in public and he was certain that it wouldn’t be the last one either, but sitting in this dark empty park with Minho so close to him made him feel so vulnerable, yet safe at the same time.

None of them could tell how long they sat there like this, but the temperature of their drinks must have dropped by some degrees in the meantime. Minho had leaned his cheek against Thomas’ head at some point and started to rub his upper arm gently in an attempt to calm his best friend down.

It seemed to be working. Thomas’ tears had stopped flowing at one point but his eyes were still burning mercilessly and he couldn’t gather the motivation nor the strength to raise his head.

“You were right, Minho.” His voice came out fragile and hoarse from crying, his friend was barely able to understand him but matched the volume of his voice.

“About what?”

“Love fucking sucks,” Thomas recited the note Minho had left him the day before, the one that was probably still stuck to the kitchen counter beside the microwave.

“It doesn’t have to.” There was a certain tone in Minho’s voice that appeared kind of out of place to Thomas, but he couldn’t quite make it out.

“Yeah. But right now it does.”

“Thomas?”

The brunet twitched slightly under the sudden seriousness that was carrying Minho’s voice. He knew that voice and he had only heard it three or four times in the many years of their friendship, one time being when Thomas had accidentally broken Minho’s Playstation controller.

Thomas finally found the strength to turn his head slightly, his cold skin rubbing against the rough fabric of Minho’s coat. His friend leaned back a bit so their gazes met and looked at Thomas for another second before he talked again.

“Promise me something, okay?”

“Is it about Newt?”

“It doesn’t matter. Can you promise me something?”, Minho repeated without changing his voice.

“Okay. Yeah.”

“Don’t try to talk to Newt again.”

Thomas was already opening his mouth, trying to object, but Minho was faster.

“He has hurt you more than once and you only know him for, what? Two weeks? Yeah okay, you two had a great time once but you shouldn’t try to chase someone who doesn’t want to be caught.”

“Poetic much.”

“Shut up, I’m trying to keep you from making stupid decisions.”

Thomas rolled his eyes at that, earning a pinch in the upper arm which he barely felt through the fabric of his jacket.

“I’m only worried about your stupid reckless ass,” Minho continued, “so do you promise it or not?” His voice sounded more serious towards the end of the sentence and Thomas knew 100% that it was important to his best friend.

He wasn’t sure if he even wanted to talk to Newt anymore, if he wanted an explanation or if he just wanted to block him and never hear from him again. But right now, the anger and the disappointment were bigger than the other feelings he had for Newt.

So Thomas gave in.

“I promise.”

They sat there for a few more seconds and just looked each other in the eyes. Something inside of Thomas’ chest moved, but he couldn’t tell what it was nor if it was something good or bad. But he felt like the knot was loosening once again and breathing came slightly easier than before.

Finally, Minho nodded slowly and gave Thomas a small smile. His body relaxed again and the two of them resumed into their previous position, Thomas’ head on Minho’s shoulder and his arm around the brunet’s shoulders.

“You know what, Min?”

“What?”

An exhausted but honest smile appeared on Thomas’ face.

“With a best friend like you, I don’t need love.”

Thomas wasn’t able to classify the silent laugh Minho gave off, but there was something about it that seemed slightly off. He debated if he should ask him about it but decided against it and let himself sink more against his best friend instead.

And the both of them sat there like this until the cold was too much to bear and their drinks had turned too cold to be enjoyable anymore.

~°~

Keeping his promise was harder than Thomas had thought and it seemed less doable with every passing day.

When they had gotten home after their evening in the park, Thomas took some time before he worked up the courage to look at his phone again. He had procrastinated it by taking a long hot shower and preparing dinner with Minho. They were planning to watch a show, maybe Big Time Rush, later but Thomas couldn’t stand the suspension anymore and finally looked at his phone after they had finished their meal.

There were several calls and text messages from Minho, reaching from worried to angry to increasingly more worried again until he had probably found Thomas’ phone in his room.

And of course some of notifications from several social media apps, mostly YouTube.

But not a single message from Newt.

Thomas wasn’t sure how to feel about it, whether to be relieved that he didn’t give him a reason to break his promise to Minho or to be angry because he didn’t seem to care about his feelings at all anymore.

At this moment, standing alone in the middle of his room after one of the most mentally draining days he had had in a while, he felt nothing at all.

And maybe that was for the best, at least on this evening.

It became a problem when Thomas started missing Newt again, checking his phone every minute of the day to see if he texted him to apologize. An embarrassingly high amount of times, he even considered texting him first, demanding explanations or even telling him that he missed him like crazy (those second ones always occurred deep in the night when he couldn’t sleep and started to overthink everything).

Minho tried to occupy his mind as much as he could the next week, constantly texting him when they weren’t home and always being around when they were. Thomas tried to be annoyed but he just couldn’t and he also couldn’t deny that he enjoyed the attention he got from his best friend.

Whatever one might take away from that.

Their relationship had gotten a slight dent nevertheless but both of them knew that they would work it out some day in the future that hopefully wasn’t too far away. Of course Thomas knew that Minho was not to blame for any of this, but sometimes the irrational part of his brain was trying so hard to convince him of the opposite.

Minho also started acting slightly different than before, the sudden amount of attention was only one part of it. Thomas almost felt like he was being handled with kid gloves sometimes and it started to slightly annoy him. Especially because it was so not Minho. He just wanted their old relationship back as fast as possible.

Thomas also hadn’t found the mental strength to take even a single step into Minho’s room yet, scared of having to look at the bed his best friend and Newt had… _done things in_. He hadn’t dared to finish that thought since the time he blurted it out in front of Minho and he was not planning on doing so anyway.

By the end of the week, Thomas wasn’t able to recall how he survived the last days, buried in stress from his classes, the constant emotional rollercoaster that came with ever thought he wasted on Newt and the progressive guilt he felt towards Minho for accidentally making him part of this absolutely horrible situation.

When he walked out of the main entrance of his University after his last Friday class, he felt a certain wave of dread wash over him, faced with the realization that going to his classes couldn’t distract him for the next two days.

Sure, there was tons of stuff he still had to do for Uni and their apartment could probably also use a good clean again. But his mind drifted off as soon as he started doing something. And it would still do it when he stopped doing the thing. And it was basically a circle of constantly being dragged into all these burdensome thoughts over and over again.

At least they were going to meet at the arcade with their friends on Saturday night, but Thomas hadn’t decided if he actually wanted to go there, since it was literally where it all had started.

He decided not to take the bus today and enjoy the last few sunbeams of the afternoon – maybe even of fall – on a walk. Their apartment wasn’t too far away and the route there could actually be quite nice if you knew where to make the right turns.

He put in his cheap headphones that had accompanied him for what seemed like ages already and put on his favourite Lorde songs (which he definitely didn’t make a playlist called ‘lorde songs to be sad to but they also slap so whatcha gonna do’ for, who would even do that?).

With his hands buried inside the pockets of his jacket he made his way towards his home, letting the deep and comforting voice wander into his mind. While letting the songs take over his head and looking at the streets around him, Thomas felt how some things inside of him started to shift.

He knew that he didn’t feel okay and that it would probably take some time until he was going to again, but for the first time this past week he actually felt hopeful about it again. Of course he could forget about Newt, and if it took him weeks or even months. He had mostly forgotten about all the other inconvenient crushes he had developed in his lifetime, so why would Newt be any different?

(That was a lie, he still thought about Jenny from fifth grade from time to time, but he ignored that fact right now.)

And just when his brain finally dodged the urge to overthink everything and started to produce hopeful, maybe even slightly positive thoughts, Thomas saw it.

He almost walked past it, the way it was barely visible between the two SUVs in front and behind it. But that was most definitely and 100% Newt’s motorcycle, Thomas would recognize that machine from hell anywhere.

He was startled, staring at the black bike as if it was an UFO. So startled that he didn’t notice that the playlist had come to an end. So startled that he didn’t hear the door of the shop he stood in front of opening. So startled that he barely missed the familiar voice coming from the person who just left said shop and who stopped mid-sentence, apparently just as shocked as Thomas was himself.

He barely brought up the courage to turn around, and when he did Newt was staring back at him, looking like he was frozen in time with not a single muscle in his body moving. For a second Thomas wasn’t even sure if he was still breathing.

None of them said a word and in these seconds, Thomas felt his whole inside crumbling to pieces, the rather positive thoughts he had just carefully created vanishing within seconds. But so did the negative ones and his mind was overtaken by utter shock and confusion instead.

Thomas tried to think of something to say and even debated if he should just keep walking away as if he didn’t notice Newt in the first place, knowing full well that it was most definitely too late for that.

But he knew that he couldn’t allow a conversation between them to happen, he had promised Minho. Maybe he could force out a short greeting and then vanish quickly, it couldn’t be that hard.

 _It’s easy,_ Thomas thought to himself. _Just turn him down, it’s okay. It’s easy. It’s fine._

His whole plan went down the drain when Newt finally spoke up, voice almost breathless and way too desperate for Thomas not to want to wrap his arms around him and tell him that everything was going to be alright.

“Tommy…what are you doing here?”


	8. Love Is Just Another Leap Of Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Thomas uses diverse variations of the word ‘fuck’ a lot, Newt has to explain how to use a couch and Thomas spills the tea - literally and figuratively.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can find a playlist for this fic at the bottom of this chapter, go check it out if you want to listen to something while reading!!

The amount of coincidences that lead Thomas to this exact moment started to feel extremely ridiculous to him.

Even when he ignored everything that had happened during the last weeks, leading to Newt ending up in his apartment after a shared night with his best friend, it still seemed so unrealistic to him.

If Thomas had decided against walking home and would have taken the bus instead, he wouldn’t have to face Newt in this exact moment. Or if he had kept his eyes glued to the sidewalk in front of him, instead of letting his gaze wander around and spot Newt’s motorcycle in the progress, making him stop walking in the first place. Or even if his playlist would have been playing just a minute longer, maybe then he wouldn’t have heard Newt leaving the store behind him and could have walked off before their encounter could have happened.

But here they were, shock written over both of their faces, skin pale against the last warm sunbeams of the evening.

It took Thomas a few moments before he was able to process the question that Newt had asked him with his voice full of something Thomas could only identify as despair. The answer to _what he was doing here_ was harder to find than expected, because in all honestly, he did _nothing_.

It was yet another sheer coincidence that Newt had walked out of the building in the exact same second Thomas had stopped there. But the fact that he stood there long enough to not be able to back out anymore was his own fault and he was mentally cursing at himself for it.

“I was just, uh….walking by.”

“I see.”

Then there was this horribly uncomfortable silence again. Another pedestrian made their way through the space between them, visibly annoyed by the two men standing in the middle of the sidewalk and blocking the way for other people. Thomas stumbled backwards a bit and used the time to finally gather his thoughts, at least a little bit.

“I was actually just passing by, I have-“

“Tommy, can we talk?”

And the words were gone again. Thomas could only stare at Newt, not knowing what he was even supposed to answer.

He knew what he _should_ say, that he didn’t want to talk right now and probably never again. He had a promise to keep after at all, a promise that wasn’t even a week old yet and that was also made to the most important person in his life.

“What is there to talk about?”

 _Bad start,_ he scolded himself for even engaging in the conversation like that in the first place. At least his voice carried that certain grain of salt he was trying to convey, because if anything, he didn’t want Newt to think that they could just forget about everything that had happened and move on.

The expression on Newt’s face shifted from despair to confusion and Thomas saw the hint of a smile appear on his lips.

“I think we both know damn well what there is to talk about.”

“You didn’t even bother to fucking text me, why do you suddenly want to talk about it?”, Thomas blurted out, not being able to hide his annoyance anymore. He just wanted to go home, to leave Newt standing here and to refuse this stupid temptation in front of him.

Newt flinched slightly at the sudden change in Thomas’ voice and looked at his feet for a second before returning his gaze to the brunet’s eyes.

“Because I feel bad about what happened and I think we should clear things up.”

Thomas blinked at him, eventually letting out a doubtful huff. “You want to talk about it because _you_ feel bad?” He shook his head and looked away, eyebrows drawn together in an upset expression. “Okay, so you only care about yourself, I get it. Great, I can leave then.”

He turned around quickly and started walking away from Newt, surprised by how easily he had worked up the strength to drop the person that wouldn’t leave his mind for the past two weeks.

But he was stopped immediately when cold fingers wrapped themselves around his wrist, pulling him back slightly so he had to turn around again. When he did, Thomas let out another annoyed groan and was ready to pull away when he got caught in Newt’s dark brown eyes. Those would eventually be the end of him, he was almost certain about that.

“Please, Tommy. I know that I fucked up and I want to explain to you why I did the things I did.”

Minho had always scolded Thomas for trusting people too easily and also for forgiving way too fast and that was most likely the reason why he made Thomas make that promise to him.

What Minho had probably forgotten was that Thomas might be a loyal friend, but there was also this constantly present impulsiveness accompanying his best friend everywhere he went. And that impulsiveness was kicking in the moment Newt’s eyes met Thomas’ and he was brought back to the night on the rooftop, the city underneath them and their hearts full of warmth.

“Okay,” he whispered, finally relaxing his arm to show Newt that he wasn’t planning on pulling away anymore.

Newt seemed to be relaxing as well, telling by his shoulders that were moving downwards slightly and the crease between his eyebrows becoming less visible. He gave Thomas’ wrist a soft squeezed before letting go and the brunet had to stop himself from flinching from the electric wave the touch sent through his body.

“My flat is close, we can talk there if you want.”

“No way I’m getting on your fucking death machine again!”

Newt blinked at him before breaking into a short laugh, looking at his motorcycle with raised eyebrows.

“Don’t worry, I just dropped by on my way home from work to get some stuff,” he said while raising his arm slightly so Thomas could see the bag that was dangling around his wrist. “My flat is only a 10 minute walk from here, I can pick up my bike tomorrow.”

It’s not that Thomas wasn’t aware of the consequences his actions could have, quite the opposite actually. His mind was racing with a million thoughts and it almost made him feel dizzy. He was aware that he could still back out, that he could say that he changed his mind in any of the 9 minutes it took the two of them to get to Newt’s flat.

But he didn’t. And when he finally stood in the middle of Newt’s living room, unsure if he could just sit down on the black couch without being asked to, Thomas felt like it was too late to chicken out. So he tried to push the increasing feeling of guilt away and wait for what Newt had to say in his defense.

Minho would understand.

Maybe.

Hopefully.

“Do you want tea? Or coffee?”, Newt’s voice came out of the kitchen.

“Uh. Just some black tea, if that’s okay.” Thomas was pretty sure that he wouldn’t touch it anyway, but it would at least give him something to fiddle around with while talking to Newt.

The blond came into the living room a few minutes later, two cups with steaming tea in his hands and a small polite smile on his face.

“Couches are for sitting, you know?”

Thomas regarded Newt’s smirk with a pained expression, but finally let himself sink onto the soft cushions of the couch. His posture was stiff and uncomfortable, as if he were constantly on the edge of jumping to his feet and run away. Which, well, he was. Newt seemed to notice, based on the insecure look he threw the brunet when he put his cup down in front of him.

“I don’t want you to feel as if I’m keeping you locked in here,”, Newt said while sitting down next to Thomas, careful to keep a certain amount of distance between them. “You can leave at any time. I don’t want you to feel obligated to do anything you don’t want to.”

Another chance to get out of this situation and to keep his promise slipped by Thomas when he just nodded, taking the cup of tea and pulling it to his lips as if he were about to drink it. Instead, he just blew on the surface gently, deciding that burning his tongue was probably the last straw he would take.

Newt’s upper body was turned towards Thomas, his hands were resting in his lap and the brunet noticed that he was picking on the skin of his fingers. His dark eyes seemed to be looking anywhere but Thomas’ face, restlessly searching the room for something to focus on. Thomas couldn’t blame him.

When Newt finally spoke up after leaving Thomas in the dark for another few seconds, his voice sounded insecure, as if he were still trying to find the right words to say.

“Thomas, I need you to know that I regret the things I have done the past week. And that I know that neither you nor Minho are to blame for any of this.” He stopped to look at Thomas, finally not avoiding his eyes anymore.

“Why didn’t you text me?”

“What?”

“Why didn’t you text me?”, Thomas repeated, voice slightly more pissed than before, and ripped his gaze away from Newt, knowing full well that he couldn’t stand it too long without going too soft again. He wasn’t planning on forgiving Newt that easily, so he had to keep it together somehow.

“I…can I explain myself first?”

“No.” Thomas let his arms sink down, cup still cradled in his hands. He turned his head to face Newt again, eyebrows drawn together in anger, which was also carried by his voice. “Just one text, Newt. One single sentence explaining why you kept ignoring me!”

“Oh so this is was it’s about for you? That I didn’t text you as much?” Newt seemed to be wanting to sound pissed off, but the confusion gained the upper hand.

“That’s just the start of it, Newt! Do you even realize what that did to me? Do you realize that I kept overthinking everything you said and the things you _didn’t_ say?” Thomas had to stop his increasing anger for a second to put his cup down on the coffee table in front of him, scared of spilling hot tea all over his hands.

Before Newt had the slightest chance to interrupt, Thomas was already talking again, finally looking at the blond’s eyes again with anger sparking in his own.

“I thought I did something wrong! Because this always fucking happens to me, I find someone I like and then I fuck it up one way or another! You made me feel like I was a fucking _burden_ to you, Newt! I didn’t leave my fucking room when I didn’t have to got to Uni, can you even imagine how much I must have worried Minho?” Thomas swallowed hardly at the mention of his best friend’s name, the best friend who’s promise he was currently very much breaking.

But maybe this was different, he didn’t really intend to make up with Newt. All he wanted were explanations. Well, and to finally let out all the steam that had built up inside of his chest and his mind during the last week. So he went on.

“Then I find you in my kitchen, wearing my best friend’s shirt and basically nothing else! What the _fuck_ were you thinking, Newt? Oh, and then you don’t even have the fucking balls to text me about it, not even a fucking apology! Do you know that I bawled my fucking eyes out? That the last week felt like I was constantly walking through a bad dream? And then you have the fucking _audacity_ to tell me that you want to ‘clear things up’ after _accidentally_ running into me and then act like you are the victim here? What the fuck, Newt?”

The stare he was constantly directing at Newt during his rampage was full of all the tension that kept Thomas on the edge, full of anger and disappointment that he couldn’t contain anymore. He was breathing heavily but his next words fell more silent, while still conveying the stinging anger inside of him.

“Now you can talk.”

Newt had shrunken with every spit out word coming from Thomas and the brunet had to try really hard not to feel sorry for the fragile looking man in front of him. He hadn’t seen Newt like this before and he felt how his heart wanted to push its way through and make him fell pitiful and maybe even sorry for almost screaming at Newt, but his mind kept the upper hand. For now.

The blond let out a silent shaky breath and looked down at his hands, fingers still tangled around each other. Thomas had always thought that Newt had an inexhaustible amount of confidence, but apparently that was just another thing to add to the list of things Thomas had once assumed about Newt that turned out to be false. Right below the point ‘likes me back’ and ‘could never hurt anyone’.

“Tommy,” Newt finally said with a voice that came out slightly shaky, “If I had known that Minho is your best friend I wouldn’t have-“

“That’s not the fucking problem here! Minho was a sheer coincidence! The problem is that you slept with someone else at all and that you probably wouldn’t have told me if Minho didn’t happen to be part of this!” Thomas was fuming, clenching his fists into the fabric of his pants. “And you keep acting like this is the only problem, but no Newt, this is only the worst of them! Stop trying to dodge all the other things as if they didn’t matter! They matter to _me_!”

Newt had flinched when Thomas started yelling again, looking at the brunet with wide eyes that were full of shock and also, as Thomas noticed with the slightest feeling of satisfaction, guilt.

But when Thomas was done talking, a few seconds of silence passed and Newt's eyes filled with a hint of anger and his voice came out steadier again.

“Okay, I get that. I respect that. But I gotta start somewhere, so would you mind not interrupting me every time I start to talk?” His voice sounded almost calm but Thomas couldn't miss the hint of bitterness that swung with it.

Thomas thought about throwing a snappy comment back at Newt but decided against it, slightly pouting his lips instead and crossing his arms, almost making him feel like a stubborn kid.

He had to remind himself that he had every right to be mad and that he was the actual victim in this scenario.

Newt took the gesture and the lack of an answer as his cue to go on.

“Yes, I slept with someone else and it unfortunately happened to be your best friend. It's not my proudest moment and if I could go back I would change it, trust me on that.” Newt let out a bitter huff before continuing. “It wasn't my intention to fuck the first person I met that night, I was just planning to get drunk and try not to think about you for one night.”

Thomas felt a painful sting in his heart and he was trying to hide it from Newt, trying not to look too vulnerable even thought he felt as if he was naked, exposed in front of a person he barely knew.

It hurt that Newt was trying to forget about him and about what the two of them had. It hurt that apparently he _had_ been thinking of him but couldn't be bothered to talk to him anymore, making Thomas feel like it was his fault even more than before.

And it also hurt that Newt, who didn't have the intention to sleep with someone that night, changed his mind upon meeting Minho. Meaning that Minho did something to him, something that Newt must have liked so much that he decided to make an expectation for him. Something that Thomas didn’t have.

And also meaning that Minho, who usually wasn't that much of a guy for a one night stand, saw something in Newt that lead him to taking him home. Something that made Minho’s attention shift from Thomas to Newt.

Both of these sides hurt Thomas in an incredibly painful way and he tried to push them aside, knowing full well that they would only make him even more emotional than he already was.

And knowing himself, that would make him break down at some point which would make him even more vulnerable and exposed, which is where the circle closes.

“Thomas, are you listening?” The blond's eyes had filled with a hint of concern when Thomas met his gaze. He hadn't even noticed that his eyes had trailed off, wandering through the room without an aim.

“I'm listening,” he tried to reassure Newt, without being very successful. His voice sounded off and he couldn't bring himself to completely focus his gaze.

Thomas twitched when he felt a warm hand touch his knee, but it was immediately pulled away due to his reaction.

“Sorry, I didn't want to-"

“No, it's…it's okay.”

Thomas lied. It wasn't okay, nothing was okay. He shouldn't be here, he should be with Minho who was probably already worrying about him not being home yet.

“If you don't want-"

“You wouldn't have told me.”

“What?”

“That you slept with someone. You wouldn't have told me.”

Newt blinked at him, slowly. His fingers were still picking on his skin and Thomas noticed that he was constantly chewing on his downer lip as well. He redirected his gaze quickly.

“I don't know, it's not that I had a lot of time to think about it.”

Thomas let out a bitter laugh. “Right.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Newt glared at him, a slightly more annoyed expression replacing the insecurity. “It's my business after all, don't you think? It's not like you're my boyfriend or anything.”

Now it was Thomas who blinked at Newt, his face turning to stone while trying to process Newt’s words.

“Besides,” Newt continued, trying to avoid looking at Thomas. “We never talked about this kind of stuff, we never set rules.”

That was the moment Thomas finally snapped.

“Wow, fuck. Ever heard of common sense?” He stared at Newt with an angry and bewildered expression for a few seconds before making a decision.

He jumped to his feet, bumping against the coffee table in the process and spilling some tea from the cup that he had previously placed there to avoid exactly that. He couldn’t even pretend that he was sorry, already rushing towards the door he hoped lead to the hallway.

“Thomas, wait!”

“Why?” Thomas jerked around, anger creasing his forehead. He was surprised by how close Newt had gotten already, only stopping a few inches in front of him. But he tried not to let himself be thrown off by the sudden proximity and the despair in Newt’s dark eyes. “Why do you want me to stay? You keep making excuses, excuses I do not want to hear!”

“What do you want to hear then, Thomas?”, the blond said with a shaky undertone. “What do you want me to do instead of apologizing?”

“You are not apologizing, you are _making excuses_. I don’t give a single fuck if you didn’t want to sleep with someone that night, because you _did_. And I also don’t care that you regret it, because it doesn’t feel like you regret it because you _hurt_ me but because _you_ feel like shit.”

Thomas was breathing heavily and bit down on his lip, feeling the urge to cry creep up his wind-pipe and burning everything on the way. The both of them just stood there staring at each other and Thomas was sure that he noticed Newt’s eyes turning glassy. He could only guess that his were doing the same.

Newt opened his mouth, lips as shaky as his breaths, but no words were coming out. So Thomas decided to take the word, his voice finally dropping in volume as if all his energy had been used up.

“You don’t know how it feels to be ignored, to be treated like a burden, don’t you? Because if you did, you’d understand me.”

A choked laugh escaped Newt’s lips as he ripped his gaze away from Thomas, wiping a shaky hand over his eyes even though there were no tears coming from them.

“Fuck. Thomas, I do. I do know what it feels like.” When his eyes met Thomas’ again, all the anger from before had vanished and all Thomas could see in them was hurt. It sent another sting right to his heart and made him immediately reach out to grab Newt’s hand without a second though, squeezing it carefully.

“Then…why-?”

“Because I was scared, Thomas. I still am.”

“Scared of what?” Thomas burst out, unsuccessfully trying to hide the desperation that was finally crawling its way out of him, showing in the way his eyes started to fill with tears and in the crack of his voice.

“Scared that you will drop me one day. That you will realize I’m not as great of a person as you might think…as you might have thought I was. And that once you realized that, you will leave, and I don’t know if I could bear that once again.” He let out a shaky breath through his mouth before going on. “Because you are not a burden, Tommy. You are the greatest thing that has happened to me in months and that’s what makes it so unbelievable scary to me.”

Newt’s voice had gone quieter with every word until they only came out as a whisper. Thomas could see a single tear roll down the blond’s cheek through his blurry vision while he tried to fully process what Newt had just told him.

“Newt, I don’t understand…,” he whispered while slowly reaching out his free hand to wipe away Newt’s tear, almost feeling as if he was moving in slow motion.

“It’s okay,” Newt choked out, trying to hold back a sob. For some reason, there was still a small smile appearing on his lips. “I’m not making any sense, I just…I haven’t really talked about this with anyone before so, yeah.”

Thomas’ hand found its way from Newt’s cheek to the back of his neck, carefully caressing the soft skin and playing with the few loose strands of hair that had fallen out of the blond’s messy bun, almost as if he had done it a million times before.

He could tell by the look in Newt’s eyes that those feelings had been building up inside of him and Thomas could barely imagine how much they must have eaten him up from the inside. The thought made his throat grow tighter.

It was clear that there was so much more to this, that Thomas was only scratching on the surface. He wanted to know more about Newt and he wanted to be there for him.

“You can-“

“You don’t deserve this. You deserve someone who doesn’t ghost you because they are too fucking scared of committing to a relationship again.” The hint of anger in Newt’s voice made Thomas twitch slightly, but he was sure that it wasn’t directed at him.

“So…that’s why you didn’t text me and why you tried to forget me? Because you’ve been hurt before?” There wasn’t a single hint of blame in Thomas’ voice.

“Yes…if that’s how you want to put it.” Thomas felt his hand being squeezed back, careful, almost hesitant. “I have been thinking about you. Every bloody minute of every day since we met in that stupid arcade.” Their gazes locked again and for the first time today, Thomas didn’t have to fight the urge to look away.

“You aren’t a burden, Tommy. You never were. And you are not the problem, I am. I hurt you in ways I have been hurt before, while I should have known better. I tried to push you away but that doesn’t mean that I think you are a bad person that would hurt me eventually, I really don’t. I’m just…” Another sad laugh. “I’m just fucking scared.”

“Are you scared right now?”, Thomas whispered, resting his hand in Newt’s nape while unconsciously pulling him closer.

After a few seconds of hesitation, the blond nodded slowly.

“I am. But right now I’m more scared of losing you than I am of rejection.”

Thomas squeezed his eyes shut when their foreheads met, blond strands of hair tickling his cheeks where the tears had left their salty trails. He expected this to feel wrong or for his flight response to finally kick in, but it didn’t. Instead Thomas wanted to be nowhere but here in this moment.

There were a million thoughts running through his mind and just as many questions he still wanted to be answered. But he pushed them away for now, leaving space for the feeling of Newt’s hands gently resting on his hips and the smell of his hair, still so unexpectantly flowery.

They stood there like lovers cut in stone, holding onto each other so carefully yet so desperately all at once. There were so many things unspoken between them, so many things left unsaid, but right now none of them wanted to take the word.

Thomas still had his eyes closed but he was almost certain that Newt was crying silently, telling by his fingers digging deeper into the fabric of Thomas’ hoodie and the silent sniffs that broke the silence from time to time.

“Newt,” he whispered eventually, “I could never hurt you.”

“I’ve heard that before. Guess what happened.” If the blond was trying to make it sound humorous, he failed miserably.

Thomas opened his eyes just the slightest bit to take a blurry look at Newt. He had been right about the crying, he really wished he hadn’t.

“Give me a chance to prove myself.”

A few moments passed before Newt opened his eyes as well, looking at Thomas through a cloudy haze. “I want to, Tommy. I want to be with you and I want you to feel loved and make up for all the shit I pulled on you.”

“But?”

“What if I do it again? I might think it will be fine right now, but what if I try to isolate myself again? It’s the best for you if we stay apart, trust me. Staying with me would be,” he breathed out a sad chuckle, “It would be stupid.”

“Well,” Thomas said, a small smile appearing on his lips. “Lucky for you, I’m known for making stupid decisions.”

Newt finally leaned back again and looked at Thomas with a skeptical expression, a sad smile adorning his face nonetheless. “So that’s what I am, a stupid decision?”

“Hey, now you’re twisting my words!” Thomas slowly let go of the back of Newt’s neck, letting his hand run down the blond’s arm to finally interlace their fingers. His voice sounded more serious when he spoke up again. “We both know better now, don’t we? We can work this out together.”

“And you’d really want to commit to that? It might not be as easy as you make it sound, do you know that?”

“You’ll be worth it.”

“Thomas, please,” Newt scoffed. “You’re being way too romantic, I’m not that great of a guy.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

A spark of taunt flashed in Newt’s eyes when he looked the brunet in the eyes, but it vanished again when Thomas didn’t return it. He was being serious and he wanted Newt to know that he was ready to make the commitment, no matter how hard it might get.

Thomas tried to ignore the echo of Minho’s voice in his head, scolding him for making rushed decisions and forgiving too fast, for trusting people too easily and for never listening to him.

For breaking his promise.

But maybe he wouldn’t be mad, maybe he would understand.

Thomas was happy right now, and that’s what Minho always wanted, right?

It would be easy to explain, maybe Minho would be mad at first but he would understand it eventually and be happy for him.

At least that’s what Thomas kept telling himself when Newt pulled him into a kiss, longing and desperate for more.

And it’s what he kept telling himself over and over again when the two of them somehow ended up in Newt’s bedroom, barely able to break their kisses even when they clumsily took each other’s clothes off, sharing muffled laughs when they struggled and got caught in sleeves and tangled socks.

He kept telling himself that Minho would understand until he didn’t anymore, when Newt occupied every last cell of his body and mind, leaving no room for any other thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> big shoutout to vic (elysianszn) for making a playlist for this fic!  
> you can find it here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4z28KFacAcGCFMKBPcc7zG?si=ETxDQtAuQlWSxRlSxZSAdQ  
> and she also made a whole twitter thread where she explains the meaning of every song: https://twitter.com/elysianszn/status/1332280504394149888?s=08
> 
> thank you so much once again!! ♡


	9. All That We Gave, Was It Wasted?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Newt keeps commenting on Thomas’ butt, Thomas pledges to study Physics for the rest of his life and become a time traveler and Thomas spills the milk instead of the tea this time.

Newt needed a second to process the quick movements next to him, the silent thud that seemed to be coming from the ground and the repeatedly whispered ‘Fuck’s that were always coming from a different direction.

It all happened quickly but Newt finally put the pieces together and came to the conclusion that Thomas must have fallen out of the bed and was now roaming through the bedroom anxiously.

While Newt honestly wasn’t too surprised by the clumsy brunet falling out of the bed (you really didn’t have to know Thomas long to understand that part of his personality), the answer as to _why_ the man seemed to be so churned up didn’t come to Newt as quickly.

Actually, it didn’t come to him at all.

A bad feeling was starting to rumble inside of Newt’s stomach as he sat up and ran his hand through his hair to keep it out of his face. His effort was to no avail, because a few particularly stubborn strands fell over his eyes again immediately.

He could finally get a look at Thomas, making him break into a soft yet tired smile.

“Cute butt.”

“Wha-?” Thomas shot up his head from previously scanning the ground for his clothing, as Newt assumed, and looked over his shoulder at the blond with a dazed expression that made Newt’s smile grow even wider.

“Your butt is cute, idiot.”

“My butt is-“ The blood shot into Thomas’ cheeks faster than he could even finish his sentence and Newt finally couldn’t hold back a laugh, voice still raucous from his sleep.

“Stop laughing Newt, this is serious!” Thomas was already on the go again, frantically searching the ground while almost stumbling over his own feet. Newt would have made a snappy comment if it weren’t for the stern expression that creased Thomas face.

Newt didn’t like it at all. He preferred the soft smiles that made Thomas’ dimples curl and the heartful glow in his hazelnut eyes.

“Did something happen?”, Newt finally asked in a concerned tone, watching Thomas while he finally pulled out his missing pair of pants under Newt’s t-shirt that was lying on top of it. The brunet let a triumphant smile show through for a second before returning to his face of sorrow.

“No. Yeah. I don’t know yet.”

“Tommy.”

“What?”

“Talk to me,” Newt said with an urging undertone, owed to the level of anxiety inside of him rising with every step Thomas took through the room.

“It’s just,” he huffed out, finally coming to a halt to look at Newt. “I think I fucked up. Big time.”

Newt stared at him for a second, feeling a sharp pain in his chest like a knife being stabbed directly into his heart. Was that what he was to Thomas now? A mistake? A stupid one night stand he didn’t want to have happened?

But before Newt could dive down deeper into the downwards spiral of his thoughts, Thomas spoke up again quickly, eyes widened in the sudden realization of what his words must have sounded like to Newt.

“Not because of you! I mean…okay yes, _because of you_ , but like, not _because_ of you-“

“Tommy…,” Newt interrupted in a distraught voice. His anxiety was now shooting through the roof and he felt his fingers twitching, digging into the fabric of his sheets.

Thomas let out a shaky sigh and ran his hands through his hair, ruffling through it quickly as if it would help him to find an explanation that would make any sense. At least without him having to give a whole 10 minute backstory first.

“I have, um…kinda made a promise to Minho which I might have broken and I am currently trying to figure out how to make it up to him and have you seen my phone?” His voice sounded rushed and out of breath, partially given to the fact that he was still pacing through the room restlessly while trying to put his pants on.

“A promise? What kind of promise?”

“Newt listen, I really need you to help me find my-“

“It’s literally in the pocket of your pants.”

Thomas breathed out a silent ‘ _Oh._ ’ before breaking into a small smile while pulling his phone out of his back pocket. “You should really stop looking at my ass all the-“ The smile was blown away as soon as he unlocked the screen, an extremely concerned expression taking its place instead.

“Fuck.”

“What?” Newt tried not to sound too annoyed by the vague hints Thomas was giving, he just wanted a clear explanation of what was wrong and why the brunet was freaking out so much right now.

His subconsciousness was telling him that it was his own fault. That he did something wrong. But Newt was used to this by now.

“It’s, uhm, Minho,” Thomas mumbled absently while scanning the screen with his eyes quickly, the crease on his forehead growing deeper with every word he read. The helpless feeling of not knowing what was happening almost drove Newt crazy.

“Is he okay?”, Newt stammered, a lump in his throat keeping him from speaking up louder.

“Huh?” Yeah, he is.” Thomas looked at the blond with a quick and unconvincing smile before returning his gaze to the phone and starting to type rapidly. “I forgot to tell him where I was yesterday and uh well, he was worried that something happened to me.”

Newt’s whole body relaxed immediately upon hearing that Minho was okay and he let out a released sigh, looking at the brunet reproachfully.

“Don’t scare me like that, Jesus fucking Christ!” He might have only met Minho for a night and the impactful morning after where he got thrown out rather ungracefully, but that didn’t mean that he did not care about him. 

He cared about Minho a lot, actually.

“I have to go home,” Thomas interrupted Newt’s thoughts after putting his phone away, throwing the blond an apologetic look. “Sorry, I…don’t want to be like a hasty one night stand that disappears before breakfast…never mind.” He visibly flinched at the realization of what he had just said and ran his hand through his mess of hair, seemingly trying to hide his embarrassment.

Unsuccessfully.

The emotion _Newt_ was trying to hide was disappointment. Of course he wanted to be understanding and he could imagine that Minho was probably not in the best of moods right now, but he had also hoped to spend a calm Saturday morning with Thomas, now that he was finally able to.

“Will you text me later? We could meet up for coffee or something. If Minho’s alright, of course.”

Newt seemed to be much better at hiding his emotions than Thomas, but that didn’t surprise him one single bit. The brunet nodded quickly with a wide smile on his face that made Newt’s heart skip a beat. Thomas with his stupid cute dimples. Newt was sure that he couldn’t reject one single wish from Thomas when he smiled at him like this.

“Sure! I’d love to!” There he was again, that giddy and overly excited puppy of a man Newt liked so much.

Thomas was already about to turn on his heels when Newt cleared his throat in a demanding manner, looking at the brunet with a sheepish smile.

“Tommy?”

“Huh?” The startled expression on Thomas’ face put another smile on Newt’s lips.

“At least say goodbye.”

“I…oh!” The brunet rushed over to Newt with an apologetic grin and leaned down to place a brief kiss on Newt’s lips, who wished he could find a way to draw it out longer and maybe even pull Thomas back into bed.

But the moment passed quickly and before Newt could even try to grab Thomas by the fabric of his hoodie, the brunet was already at the door again, throwing Newt a soft smile that couldn’t fully hide the nervousness that took over his whole body.

“See you later!”

“See you, Tommy.”

After Thomas left the room, Newt let himself fall back into his pillows, closing his eyes and listening to the noises of Thomas opening the wrong doors and silently cursing to himself, the ruffling sounds of a jacket being put on and finally the front door being closed with a loud _thud_.

The flat fell awfully silent after that.

And Newt had thought that he had gotten used to it by now, after sharing his home with someone else for four years and suddenly being alone again for several months already. He thought that he had finally gotten used to waking up alone and making his morning coffee by himself, instead of someone bringing it to his bed, perfectly completed with a soft kiss on the lips.

Not that he had gotten the latter a lot anyway. At least not in the last months of the relationship.

Newt opened his eyes quickly, looking at the ceiling lamp as if it would help him getting his thoughts off the person he didn’t want to think about right now. He wanted to redirect his mind to Thomas and Thomas only. To his lips and his hands and his bloody dimples and his stupid laugh that made Newt’s heart flutter every single time.

Letting Thomas into his life was a big step for him. A step he didn’t exactly take voluntarily, since the brunet basically ran into him yesterday evening by some kind of twisted fate, crossing all his plans to try to break their contact.

In hindsight, Newt felt extremely bad for it. He felt selfish for being so taken in by his own fear that he didn’t realize how much it hurt Thomas, so yesterday presented itself as some kind of wakeup call for him.

He wanted to be better, to be able to love again like he used to and to let himself feel loved again just as much.

And Thomas made it so easy.

Thomas wore his heart on his sleeve. He cared about what Newt had to say and he did so genuinely, without faking his interest or acting bored. It was hard not to like Thomas and it was hard to let him go.

But Newt wasn’t planning on making that mistake again.

He was ready to try again and to let Thomas be by his side.

He was ready to be happy again.

~°~

“I thought something happened to you! I didn’t sleep last night because I was so fucking worried that you got into an accident or something! I checked the news every other minute and I was ready to call the hospital if you wouldn’t turn up this morning!”

“Minho-“

“Where the fuck have you been, Thomas? What was more important than telling me that you wouldn’t come home tonight and that I wouldn’t have to worry?”

Needless to say, Minho was fuming, walking up and down in front of Thomas restlessly with his hands balled into fists, throwing the brunet looks that could have probably killed him.

And Thomas couldn’t really blame him. He would have been the exact same if it were the other way around and even if he hated to admit it, he completely forgot about sending Minho a quick text to assure him of his well-being last night.

This also being the reason why he had to leave Newt this early. He had planned to stay longer, trying to stall having to tell Minho that he broke his promise and hope for him to understand somehow.

Now he had ended up with a whole different problem, which to his dismay also included a very angry, very furious Minho.

And Thomas still wasn’t sure what to tell him. On his way back to their apartment he had planned out this whole conversation in his head, every single word, but it had all gone with the wind as soon as he had walked into their hallway and was first crushed with a tight hug and then immediately yelled at.

Until now, he didn’t even get the chance to take his shoes off, let alone his jacket. Thomas tried to imagine it as some kind of armor to protect him from what was going to come, because he knew as soon as Minho would find out what Thomas had been up to last night, he would probably not get any happier.

Maybe he should treat it like a band-aid: Rip it off fast and endure the pain for a short amount of time. Equaling telling Minho what he did right away, instead of trying to put it off until he’d find out himself. Because Thomas knew that his best friend could basically read his thoughts and wouldn’t need long to figure it out on his own.

But just _ripping it off_ was easier said than done. Especially because Thomas knew that this could possibly put an end to their friendship like they had known it up until now. And he was scared of that consequence, incredibly scared.

Last night he had been able to convince himself that it would be fine and that Minho would be understanding, but now, in the light of the day, that hope was starting to die like the brown leaves in the cold fall air.

It was Minho’s upset voice that finally ripped him out of the train of thoughts that just didn’t want to end.

“Thomas, answer me, for fuck’s sake!”

“Min, I’m sorry-“

“I don’t want an apology, I want to know where-“

“I slept with Newt.”

The band-aid was ripped off and Thomas was bracing himself for the itching pain, for the storm to break loose. But all there was, was silence. And for some reason, that was even worse.

Thomas gathered all his strength to look Minho in the eyes, who was staring back at him, all kinds of emotions crawling over his face in the span of only a few seconds. Seconds that felt like hours to Thomas, who just wanted _some_ kind of reaction so he knew that he didn’t break his best friend completely.

Because the Minho he knew would be angry, he would yell and throw reproaches at him like knifes and most likely apologize for his outbreak later. Minho wasn’t someone who was angry in silence. Meaning that what he was feeling now wasn’t anger, but something else. And based on the sound of his voice, held back and slightly trembling, Thomas guessed that it was _hurt_ instead.

“You were with Newt?”

Thomas nodded hesitantly, not able to say one single word. He felt like having to throw up any second and his legs were shaking, but he tried to keep it together somehow. He knew there would be questions, a lot of them where he still didn’t know how to justify the answers.

Minho continued to speak in a tone that was slowly starting to freak Thomas out, way too calm and lacking in anger for the situation.

“So you’re telling me…while I was here worrying about you, you were fucking Newt?”

The brunet nodded again and looked slightly past Minho, not being able to stand his best friend’s eyes scanning his face in the search for answers Thomas didn’t have. Or at least answers Minho probably didn’t want to hear.

“And, you know…fucking him despite what I made you promise me?”

“Look, I…I can explain this,” Thomas was finally able to stammer, quickly trying to figure out the next words he was going to say.

“Yeah, I bet you fucking can,” Minho spit out, the anger inside of him finally starting to replace the apathic state he had been in before. “Go ahead! I’m waiting!”

There was no point in denying that Thomas felt kind of intimidated by his best friend right now, standing in front of him with his arms crossed and this gleaming anger in his eyes. But now that Thomas was finally redirecting his gaze to Minho’s eyes, he realized that it might not be anger, but disappointment. Which was even worse, in his opinion. He could handle Minho being angry, he did it before. But blank disappointment was something his best friend didn’t show openly very often.

“I…can I come in first?”

“You _are_ in. And I think I have done enough waiting the last couple of hours,” Minho threw back at him with a heavily reproachful undertone. 

Thomas flinched slightly and looked down to his hands, where he was fiddling with his beanie to keep his hands occupied. If he could have just texted Minho yesterday, than maybe this situation wouldn’t suck as bad as it did right now.

“Fuck, Min. I…I made a mistake, okay? I ran into him when I walked home from Uni yesterday and I don’t know why I agreed when he asked me to come home with him, but he said he wanted to explain his behavior, which he _did_ and somehow one thing lead to another and I…I’m sorry, Minho, I really am.”

“Huh. Do you regret it?”

Thomas stared back at Minho, completely blindsided by the unexpected question and how unshaken he seemed in regards of his explanation. At this point, Thomas felt completely unprepared for anything Minho would say or do and it scared him. It scared him that he could say the wrong thing and make everything even worse.

Because this was one of those questions where he didn’t exactly know the answer for.

 _Did_ he regret it?

Did he regret going home with Newt, getting an explanation for everything that had happened in the past weeks and making up with the first person in a long time that returned his feelings of romantic love again?

Definitely not.

Did he regret betraying Minho’s trust by having enough faith in Newt to be a better person, hurting his best friend’s feelings and possibly destroying their friendship?

Most definitely.

But apparently the insecure expression and lack of a response were enough of an answer to Minho, who let out a _tzz_ sound that carried all the anger that he had inside of him, and turned his head away, looking down with his nose scrunched up.

“Okay. I get it,” Minho hissed, throwing Thomas a look that pierced directly through his heart. He had never gotten a look like this before, full of something Thomas barely dared to address as _hatred_. _hartedha_

He knew that this was probably not it, knowing that no matter how hard he fucked up, Minho could never hate him. But the expression on his face might have come close to it, at least Thomas felt like it was what he deserved.

“Minho, I-“

“Stop it, Thomas! I don’t want to hear your shitty excuses right now, I’m…” He looked at Thomas again while running his hand through his hair in the same motion. His lips were moving slightly like he was trying to find the right words to say. Thomas took the chance to speak again, not even trying to keep his voice from sounding desperate.

“I know that I did you wrong by not telling you were I was. I forgot, okay? I simply forgot and I know that if I were in your situation I would be pissed off as well and I never wanted to worry you like I did and I promise that it will never happen again, okay? I promise!”

Minho had actually not interrupted him this time and was now looking at Thomas again, chewing on his upper lip while visibly thinking about whether this was enough to excuse one of the things Thomas had done wrong.

There were a few seconds of heavy silence before Minho decided to let out a dismissive huff, shaking his head with a bitter smile.

“Because you are so good at keeping promises, right?”

Thomas stared at him in disbelieve of what he had just heard, before the anger finally started to bubble up inside of him as well.

“Okay, you know what? Why does it matter to you so much? Newt and I talked about everything and he genuinely apologized! And believe it or not, he makes me _happy_.”

“Does he?” Minho raised his brows. “Because I heard you say that before and a few days later you talked to me about how much love sucks while sitting on a park bench crying, so your judgment might be affected by those stupid rose-coloured glasses he put on you.”

“You don’t know what the fuck you are talking about! You don’t know Newt and what he told me, you don’t have the right to-“

“Thomas, listen! He literally told me that he wanted to _forget_ about you the night I met him!”

Thomas froze for a second, trying to hide what those words did to him. He knew that Newt tried to isolate himself but somehow hearing how he had actually _said_ that to Minho hurt differently.

“But he has changed, Minho. He had his reasons and he promised me to work on it!” At this point, his voice sounded more desperate than convincing and he kind of hated himself for getting so emotional.

“How do you know that it won’t happen again, Thomas? No, let me finish!”, he interrupted his best friend, who was already about to open his mouth again. “How can you possibly know that he will not hurt you again? Because he _promised_? You’ve known him for three fucking weeks, Thomas! Wake the fuck up!”

“Oh, so that’s your point of reason now? _You_ know him for one single night, what makes you think you can judge him better than I do?”

“I’m not judging him, Thomas, I am judging _you_ , because I see you falling for some random guy who you trust more after a few weeks than your best friend that you have known for almost your whole life!”

Thomas looked at Minho with his mouth open, blinking at him slowly before scrunching up his nose and crossing his arms, mirroring Minho’s gesture from before. “Okay, so, let me get this straight. This is not about Newt, this is about you, right?”

“This is about all three of us, what-“

“No, because I’m starting to feel like you might be _jealous_.”

“That’s complete bull-“

But Thomas didn’t leave him room to speak, completely caught in his train of thoughts that was pushing the words out of his mouth. “You are jealous because you don’t want Newt to occupy me all day! Because up until now it was only you and me and now Newt is a threat to our friendship, at least to you!”

“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about!”, Minho spit out, visibly growing angrier with every word Thomas threw at him.

“Yeah I do! Minho, I get that, okay? We can talk about this-“

“We cannot, because this is not what it’s about!” Thomas knew when Minho was lying. He just couldn’t figure out why exactly he was lying to him in this moment, he had always thought that they could talk about anything together.

Before Thomas could interrupt, Minho kept on talking. “It’s about that you broke my trust! That you put a crush over me. Do you even know how much it hurts to know that your best friend thinks your opinion is worth less than the one of a guy you met at a fucking arcade some weeks ago?”

“Minho, I didn’t want to hurt you, I-“

“Oh how very fucking nice of you! It doesn’t matter if you didn’t want to hurt me because you _did,_ nonetheless. And you don’t even seem to regret it one single bit and I don’t know why I’m even wasting my fucking energy on this conversation right now if you aren’t willing to _listen_!”

Thomas was hesitating for just a second, but it was enough for Minho to finally get moving and push past Thomas, way more heedless than necessary. The brunet turned around quickly, looking at his best friend with wide eyes.

“What are you doing?”

Minho, who had meanwhile grabbed his coat from the hanger, didn’t care to turn around. “I’m going out.”

“Going where?”

“Don’t fucking know. Just out.”

“You are running away from me, aren’t you?” Thomas tried to sound pissed off, but his voice betrayed him by coming out way too croaky and way too anxious.

Minho stopped in his movement, hands on the collar of his coat and his gaze glued to his shoes on the ground. For a second Thomas thought - no, _hoped_ – that he would turn around and that they could talk about everything and be alright again. But he was met with the crushing reality that this problem was not as easy to fix as he might want it to be when Minho moved again, slipping his shoes on effortlessly and grabbing his keys from the key holder next to the door.

“Min, please,” Thomas breathed, reaching out his hand to grab Minho’s arm. But he was too slow and before he could even take another step closer to his best friend, the door slammed shut in front of his face.

The sudden silence crushed down on Thomas, taking away his breath and leaving him feel so unbelievable lonely that it hurt. He let his hand sink down again, slowly, while trying to process what had just happened between him and Minho.

This was not how he had wanted it to go, not at all. In his head, he was franticly trying to figure out a way to turn back the clock, knowing full well that he would probably have to study another thousand years of Physics to get to that point.

He would do it if it meant he could have Minho back.

It felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest and thrown on the ground, before being run over by the traffic in the rush hours of the city. Minho and he had some fights before, some more nasty than others, but none had been so bad that Minho just walked out on him.

Minho wasn’t like this. Minho never shied away from confrontation. He was always the one who wanted to end fights rather than running away from them, but now he did exactly that and Thomas felt like the world was slipping away under his feet. This wasn’t right. This fight shouldn’t have happened in the first place. Minho shouldn’t be gone.

Thomas couldn’t even tell when he had sunken down to the floor, with his legs folded underneath him and his head and shoulder rested against the wall. His eyes hurt from staring at the dimly lit hallway, light flickering as usual.

They could get through this. They were Thomas and Minho, of course they would get through it. Even if it meant for Thomas to make a decision. A decision that scared him and let the blood inside of him run cold.

But if he were forced to decide, he would do so without batting an eye.

Because this felt different.

When Newt had let him down, he felt miserable, there was no point in denying that. He was heartbroken and didn’t want to leave his room anymore. But he had been sure that it would pass someday like it had before.

But now that Minho was gone, Thomas couldn’t possibly think of how he could ever be okay again if his best friend left him for good. There was no life without Minho in it. He had always been there, he never left Thomas’ side. Thomas could not life without him.

The realization hurt. And it hurt especially because Thomas knew that it came too late, because now Minho was gone and he had no idea when he would come back. And what he would do when he did.

And that’s where the overthinking finally began. Thomas couldn’t even find the mental strength to stand up and take off his jacket, but he was feeling so cold anyway. He just kept sitting there without a track of how much time was passing, alone with his thoughts and lonely in his heart.

At one point, Thomas had decided to close his eyes, not being able to stand the dry feeling anymore. The downside was that it made his river of thoughts flow even faster and more rapidly, spilling over the riverbanks and taking over every last bit of his mind.

Thomas wasn’t able to tell how much time had passed since their fight, but his feet were starting to feel numb and his stomach was starting to rumble from the lack of breakfast. Not that Thomas had any kind of appetite left inside of him anyway.

But he managed to pull himself up somehow, letting his jacket slip off his shoulders and deciding to leave it on the ground for now. Everything Thomas did felt like he was watching it through a thick haze that was shielding him from reality.

While pouring himself a glass of milk, spilling some of it on the kitchen counter without even noticing it, Thomas thought about spamming Minho with calls and text messages until he came back. But at the same time he was held back by the last bit of common sense left in his blurry mind, telling him that Minho had the right to have some space.

So Thomas decided to wait.

And he did. First, he started to count the minutes until they became hours and the sun started to set again, the glowing beams reaching Thomas’ face but not his heart. He had been sitting on his bed all day, fiddling with his phone and waiting for any sign from Minho, the clicking of his keys on the front door or a simple text message telling Thomas that he was coming home. He event unmuted his phone, which was something he barely did.

But nothing happened.

The only text messages he received were by Newt, asking him if he was able to explain everything to Minho. Those messages were followed by a call, in which Thomas eventually broke down crying and had to be calmed down by Newt, who kept telling him that it would be alright and that he could come over anytime to be with Thomas.

Thomas wanted Newt by his side, he wanted him to hold him in his arms and keep him from freaking out more than he already was. But he was also well aware of what it would look like if Minho came home and Newt was in Thomas’ room.

When Thomas had calmed down enough so that breathing didn’t present itself as a challenge to him anymore, he ended the call with Newt with a heavy heart. He wanted to keep hearing his soothing voice, but he was scared of missing a message or a call from Minho. And he was also scared that _if_ he had to make a decision, talking to Newt in this trying situation would only make it harder to tell him the answer in the end.

Newt assured him once again that he could text him anytime if he needed anything and Thomas was extremely grateful for that. But when he finally brought himself to text Newt again at around 9 pm, asking him for advice on if he should try to reach Minho somehow, no answer came back.

Thomas tried not to think too much of it at first, Newt had probably not seen the message and would answer very soon. But the minutes passed by and when the blond hadn’t texted back an hour and a half later, Thomas was starting to freak out again. He was feeling nauseous from the constant worry and also due to the fact that he hadn’t eaten anything since that glass of milk that was still standing in the kitchen, only half empty.

His heart made a jump when finally, Newt’s name popped up on the screen.

**Newt**

I’m sorry that I didn’t text you back. You should come over ASAP. [22:37]

The anxiety washed over Thomas again, making his fingers run cold and taking away his breath. This didn’t sound good at all. He typed his response while already jumping up from the bed, trying to fight the dizzy feeling in his head.

**Thomas’ phone**

omw [22:37]

did som ething hapren? [22:37]

The answer made Thomas almost drop his phone.

**Newt**

Minho is here. [22:38]


	10. It's Such a Petty Price To Pay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Minho is concerned about Thomas’ feet, Thomas keeps forgetting his clothes everywhere he goes and some inappropriate flirting happens at 1 in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song recommendations for this chapter are both songs by Half Moon Run: Call Me In The Afternoon and Full Circle (but that one is just for the vibe™, ignore the lyrics)
> 
> enjoy!

When Thomas had told Newt that they could see each other again that day, he had hoped for other circumstances than the ones he was in right now. The weather matched his current mood, rain was falling from the sky mercilessly and Thomas only noticed once he was already out of the apartment.

Technically, he could have gone back to get their old umbrella, but he didn’t want to waste any time by going upstairs again. And he was sure that Newt would be able to lend one to him before he went home again, hopefully with Minho in tow.

Thomas’ fingers were shaking from the cold when he rang the doorbell to Newt’s apartment. Or at least the cold played some part in it, his anxiety of how Minho would react upon seeing him again taking the much bigger part.

Newt hadn’t told him much, only that Minho had been with him for several hours already but didn’t want him to tell Thomas that he was there. And that apparently, his best friend still wasn’t aware that Thomas would show up, which didn’t help his anxious state at all.

His thoughts were interrupted by a silent crackle coming from the intercom.

_“Hello?”_

“Hey, it’s me.” He blinked. “Thomas,” as if anyone else would come ringing at his door at 11 pm on this miserable Saturday night.

The buzzer of the door went off immediately and Thomas went inside, shaking his head to get rid of the droplets of rain that got caught in his hair. He made his way to the elevator and kept pushing the buttons as if it would make the doors open faster. Thomas had enough of feeling helpless and he wouldn’t let that stupid elevator stoke this feeling even more. Expect that it did.

When the elevator doors finally opened, Thomas pushed inside and started franticly pressing buttons once again, trying to calm his racing heart somehow. The ride felt way longer than last time and Thomas was almost certain that there was some higher power that decided that right now was the perfect time to do everything in their will to give Thomas a hard time. Or at least harder than it already was.

The doors opened with a dull rumbling sound and Thomas stumbled into the hallway, immediately hasting towards the door to Newt’s apartment. He was already raising his hand to knock on the door when it opened in front of him and Newt’s head popped up, a small smile appearing on his lips.

“You look-“

“Like crap?”, Thomas finished the sentence, cracking a half-hearted smile.

“Tired.” Newt scanned the brunet in front of him, the smile turning into a concerned expression. “And wet.”

“Thanks,” Thomas commented in a humourless tone, his voice trembling slightly. He just wanted to see Minho again and take him home, he wanted everything to go back to normal and he wanted Newt to be part of this new _normal_.

But he knew that this was wishful thinking and nothing more. If everything turned into the worst case scenario Thomas had played out in his head on the bus drive here, he and Minho could never return to the level of trust they had before. And Minho would decide that this was the end of their friendship while Newt realized that Thomas was an absolute idiot who couldn’t even keep a promise for more than a week and drop him as well.

And then he would end up alone.

And being lonely was one of his greatest fears.

“Come in, Minho’s in the living room,” Newt finally broke the silence and stepped aside to let Thomas in, who quickly slipped his soaked shoes off and kicked them to the side before scurrying into the warm hallway of Newt’s apartment.

“Does he know that I’m here?”, Thomas said in a lowered voice, taking off his jacket as well. He was already looking for a place to hang it up where it wouldn’t swamp half of the room, when Newt took it from him.

“Yes, I told him when you said that you were coming.” The blond looked over his shoulder briefly before returning his gaze to Thomas. “He was unexpectedly okay with it. Might be because he’s pretty drunk, but-“

“He’s drunk?”, Thomas interrupted, a puzzled expression on his face. “ _How_ drunk?”

Newt blinked at him, confused by the urgency in the brunet’s question. “Uhm…well, more drunk than the last time I…you know.” He avoided looking at Thomas by flicking off an invisible lint from the sleeve of his orange sweatshirt.

Thomas recognized it as the one Newt had worn around his waist when they first met at the arcade. It felt so long ago. So much had happened since that significant moment when Newt suddenly came into his life, playfully making fun of him and making Thomas fall for him harder than he had ever fallen before.

And now, looking at where they all ended up, that moment seemed so small yet so powerful. Thomas had literally watched the butterfly effect play out right in front of his eyes, not even realizing what chaos it was causing until it was too late. Chaos that he had to fix somehow. Chaos that seemed way too messy to be fixed at all.

“Tommy?” A gentle hand ran over Thomas’ arm, his skin freezing from the weather outside. When he looked up, he met Newt’s brown eyes, worried but warm against the cold that was wrapping around Thomas. “You are freezing, do you want me to give you one of my hoodies?”

Everything in Thomas screamed to accept the offer, but he got himself to shake his head anyway. He wasn’t planning on staying long and he also wasn’t sure if he could ever return the hoodie once he got out of this situation.

“I’m fine,” Thomas lied, trying to crack a small smile. “I’m just…gonna grab Minho and drag him home.”

Newt scanned his face doubtfully before nodding slowly. “I’m sorry that I had to get you all of the sudden, I wouldn’t have asked you to come here if it wasn’t urgent, but-“

“I know, I know. It’s okay.” He wasn’t lying this time. Newt had told him that there was an emergency with one of the kids from the LGBT+ center and Thomas knew how important this was to Newt. He could take care of Minho. At least he hoped so.

A relieved smile flashed over Newt’s lips before he leaned in to kiss Thomas. Maybe it was the sickness in Thomas’ stomach or the constant rush of thoughts that kept him from thinking straight, but something inside of him made Thomas pull away, immediately avoiding Newt’s confused look by pinning his eyes to the door that was leading to the living room.

“I...sorry, but I really gotta…”

“Sure,” Newt interrupted, his voice suddenly lacking the warmth it had carried before, leaving Thomas in the cold once again.

A moment of uncomfortable silence passed before Thomas finally moved, still trying not to look at Newt. But he could feel the blond’s gaze on him.

“You two really should talk.”

Thomas stopped in his tracks to look over his shoulder, met by Newt’s gaze that was unreadable to the brunet. But whatever it was, he didn’t like it on Newt.

“Yeah, I…I know,” Thomas replied lamely. He wasn’t completely sure why Newt would say something like this, as if it wasn’t the completely obvious thing to do. The answer to that followed immediately.

“For real,” Newt said in a serious tone. “I will not snitch on Minho, but he told me some…”, he paused for a second, visibly rethinking the choice of his words. “There’s some unresolved problems between you two. And I think it’s the best for both of you if you talk about them.”

Thomas wasn’t sure how to feel about this. Newt made it sound like Minho told him things he didn’t know about, but that sounded unrealistic to Thomas. Minho always told him everything.

“I will. _We_ will,” Thomas eventually said with a hint of confusion and turned away again, heading to the living room door with shaky knees. He just wanted to get out of here as fast as possible, which seemed ridiculous, thinking back how much he had wanted to stay only fifteen hours ago.

He felt Newt’s presence behind him when he stopped in front of the door that was already half opened. Thomas took one last deep breath before pushing the door open and getting a better look into the room.

Minho was half sitting half lying on the couch in a position that seemed way to uncomfortable to Thomas. His hair was a mess, which was already a bad sign to begin with, since Minho was absolutely one of those people that wouldn’t let you touch his hair so you wouldn’t accidentally _ruin_ it. His glassy eyes were pinned to a random point in the room, staring absently for another second before he finally noticed that someone had entered the room.

His eyebrow’s furrowed when he recognized Thomas, but it was only for the split of a second before the black-haired boy broke into crooked grin that sent a shiver down Thomas’ spine. He tried to put on a thin smile nonetheless.

“Hey, Min.”

“Hey person who broke my trust!”, Minho croaked in a voice that sounded way too cheerful to fit the situation. The boy’s drunk state couldn’t be denied and that was the part that scared Thomas.

He had some experience with Minho being drunk and that’s why he knew exactly that he had to drink a lot - and he meant _a lot_ – to lose his self-control like that. He had probably spent the whole evening at some shady bar getting absolutely wasted before making the decision to go see Newt and pour his heart out. For whatever reason.

Thomas felt like he wouldn’t get an answer today.

“Get up, Minho, I’m taking you home.

“Naah. It’s nice here, Newt’s a very good host, right Newt?”, he said before winking at the blond in an exaggerated gesture that made the boy behind Thomas sigh silently.

“He has phases in which he’s more…cooperative,” Newt whispered so Minho wouldn’t hear him. “And, well…phases in which he’s also more emotional.”

“I know,” Thomas mumbled, looking at his best friend with a pained expression. He reluctantly remembered the last time Minho had been _that_ drunk and the emotional storm that was breaking down over the both of them. Yet, it hadn’t done any harm to there friendship. If anything, their bond only grew stronger. Thomas was sure that it wouldn’t be the same this time.

Meanwhile, Minho had found something else to occupy his mind with apparently, squinting down at Thomas feet.

“Your socks are wet, do you know that? You really need to get that fixed”, he slurred, looking like the most serious person on earth. Thomas would have laughed if he didn’t feel so miserable.

“I will when we get home,” Thomas reassured him, trying to sound composed while the storm in his mind kept raging on. If Minho refused to go with him, he wouldn’t know what to do. And his drunkenness made everything ten times harder than it already was. Minho was stubborn when sober. But he was a pain in the ass when he was drunk.

Thomas point was proven exactly one second later.

“ _We_ won’t go anywhere! You can go home or whatever but I’ll stay here on this couch.” His defiant tone was accentuated by a pouty lip and an overdramatic huff that Thomas interpreted as a sign that this discussion was over.

The brunet threw Newt a helpless look, hoping for some form of support. But he was met with eyes just as clueless as his own.

“You can’t stay here, Minho,” Thomas eventually said and looked back at his friend, taking the courage to walk closer to the couch. He grew a little more hopeful when Minho didn’t move away, yet his eyes were following the brunet continuously as if he were waiting for Thomas to make a wrong move.

“Let me take you home,” Thomas continued and managed to form a small smile on his lips, hoping it would help to convince Minho.

“Why, Thomas?” The black-haired man’s tone had suddenly turned more serious, making Thomas come to a halt immediately. “Why do you want me to come home?”

“Because it fucking sucks without you.” The distance between the two best friends had shrunken, but Thomas felt like he was still so far away from Minho. He could touch him when he’d reach out his hand but he was scared Minho would slap it away, refuse his apologies and leave him for good.

“Oh, does it?” Minho let out a disbelieving huff and exchanged a look with Newt, a look Thomas couldn’t construe. “Should have thought about this before you decided to do exactly what I told you not to do.” His gaze pierced through Thomas again and the brunet felt his heart jump in his chest.

“Min, please. We can talk about this when we’re home.”

“What if I don’t want to talk?”

“I know you do. You can stop acting like you are giving me the cold shoulder, I _got it_ , okay?” To be quite honest, at this exact moment Thomas was bluffing. Something deep inside of him told him that he spoke the truth, but he couldn’t be one hundred percent sure of that. This could either convince Minho or make him want Thomas to be gone even more, giving him the last straw.

To Thomas’ relief, something in Minho’s face shifted the slightest bit. So he kept on talking.

“I know exactly what I did wrong and why it upset you. And honestly, I can’t even figure out where to start apologizing because there is a lot. But I’m willing to try and I’m willing to make it up to you somehow, I just need you to give me a _chance._ ” His voice grew more and more desperate as he kept on rambling. “I don’t want to lose you, Minho. I _cannot_ lose you.”

While he was talking, Thomas had overcome the last inches between him and his best friend and stood right in front of him now. Minho was looking up at him, eyes still glassy from the alcohol and his cheeks coloured the slightest hint of red, as Thomas noticed.

“Please come home, Minho,” Thomas spoke with a lowered voice, unsuccessfully trying to keep it from sounding shaky. “I prom-…I know we can figure this out.”

A second passed, than two and then another one and Thomas already felt his heart sink in his chest when Minho finally responded.

“Okay. Whatever.”

Those two words sent a wave of relive through Thomas and maybe he would have even been able to let a small smile show up if it weren’t for Minho standing up abruptly, apparently forgetting the amount of alcohol that was flooding through his blood stream.

Thankfully, Thomas’ reflexes were quick and he found himself propping Minho up with one arm around his waist, the taller boy’s body leaning against him as elegantly as a wet sack of flour.

“Fuck, Minho. How much did you drink?” Thomas looked at him with a disapproving look, his voice finally regaining some strength.

“Don’t know,” he mumbled, blinking rapidly to get rid of the dizzy feeling in his head, as Thomas suspected. “Stopped counting eventually.”

“Great,” Thomas whispered, more to himself than anyone else. The task to get Minho, a guy much bigger than him, home on the bus somehow grew more and more unrealistic with every wonky step they took towards the hallway and when Thomas looked up, he was met by two dark brown eyes watching them.

“Do you need me to-“

“No, it’s fine,” Thomas quickly interrupted with a strained voice, trying to keep his own balance with Minho leaning against him. “Have to get him home on my own anyway.” He blinked and widened his eyes. “That wasn’t a reproach! Sorry!”

When Newt had texted Thomas earlier, telling him to get Minho, the brunet had asked him why he couldn’t drop him off, given that Newt had his motorcycle and would be there much quicker than Thomas could even get into the bus. And Newt had reassured him that he wouldn’t have given Thomas that kind of trouble if it weren’t for Minho being so drunk, posing a risk for both their safety on the road.

At first, Thomas felt like it was a cheap excuse not to have to deal with the drunken man, but now that he was able to examine Minho better, he finally understood Newt’s point. To say that he was a pain in the ass to handle right now would be an understatement.

Newt hadn’t commented on Thomas’ apology and was already on his way to the hallway, holding the door open for the two best friends. Their gazes met again when Thomas maneuvered Minho through the doorway, and Thomas was able to force a smile, which Newt returned immediately.

And that made everything so much harder.

When Thomas had finally made it to the entrance without hurting himself or Minho too much (a few bruises couldn’t be avoided) and left his best friend alone so he could put on his shoes and his jacket, he turned around to be faced by Newt once again, who took his hand and squeezed it carefully. It made Thomas twitch and he almost pulled away, knowing full well that it would make saying Goodbye unbearable if he let Newt take him in like that. Not that it was the blond’s fault at all. But again, this didn’t make anything easier.

“Will you two be alright? I could still call you an Uber,” Newt said in a lowered voice, pulling Thomas closer and examining his face with a worried expression that almost broke Thomas’ heart.

“We’re gonna be okay, don’t worry. I’ll text you when we’re home.” Thomas nodded along slowly and avoided looking into Newt’s eyes. The blond seemed to notice the chaos inside of his mind and gently laid his hand on Thomas’ cheek, slowly circling his thumb over the soft skin, still pink and cold from the rain.

Thomas allowed himself to close his eyes for a second and leaned closer into the warm touch, indulging into the comforting feeling and the calm it draped over him for a few moments.

He was pulled out of the moment forcefully by a rumble behind him. When he looked over his shoulder, Minho was leaning against the wall with a painful expression on his face.

“Don’t tell me you fell over,” Thomas said in a slightly mocking tone, raising one eyebrow suspiciously.

“Nah. See, still standing,” Minho responded and stuck up one thumb with a grin that seemed so out of it that it almost made Thomas crack a gleeful smile.

“Need help putting your shoes on, little one?”

“Shut up, you’re not-,” he paused for a second to push himself off the wall again, trying to come to a save footing with wobbly legs. “I’m not your child.”

“Feels like it sometimes,” Thomas shot back, making Minho return his look with a roll of his eyes.

When the brunet returned his gaze to Newt again, his already very small smile disappeared immediately. It felt like Newt was interrogating him, trying to read what was going on inside of his mind. _Maybe he knows_ , a nagging voice inside of Thomas’ head whispered.

“What?”, Thomas breathed, trying to look anywhere in Newt’s face than his eyes.

“It’s…nothing, I just have questions,” the blond replied, drawing his eyebrows together in concern.

“Well…since Minho probably need some more time to put on his stupid shoes anyway…,” he tried and failed to put on a smile, “Go ahead.” A wave of regret washed over Thomas immediately. On the ride here, he had told himself over and over again that he might have to let go of Newt and at this point, he was only putting it off.

“Why didn’t you tell me what you had promised Minho?” Newt’s voice was quiet but carried a certain amount of reproach that Thomas couldn’t miss. “We could have talked to him about it. Together. All of this could have been avoided.”

“It’s too late now anyway, isn’t it?”, Thomas replied, unable to hide the guilt that was clouding his thoughts. _Could_ this have been avoided? Or would the same scenario have played out, just slightly different?

Before Newt could say anything, Thomas continued, his overbearing thoughts pushing their way out of his mouth without him having any control over them.

“Minho gave me a choice, okay? He gave me a choice between you, the cute guy I met a few days ago and was completely and naively crushing over, and him, my best friend of literal _years_. And he gave me that choice to protect me, because he doesn’t know you as well as I do. He wanted me to make a choice and apparently I made the wrong one, or we wouldn’t be standing here talking about this right now.”

“Wow Thomas,” Minho’s voice came from behind him, followed by the slow clapping of hands. “I mean I know you’re bad with stuff like this, but _wow._ ”

Thomas turned to look at his best friend in confusion, trying not to be too offended by the scoffing face he was pulling. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, you’re fucking drunk!”

It was when Thomas looked at Newt again when he realized that Minho knew in fact what he was talking about. The expression on the blond’s face made Thomas heart stop beating for a second and he couldn’t recall seeing anyone as hurt as this before.

Thomas parted his lips, moved them without actually speaking, while trying to figure out what part of his answer was the one that made Newt’s face turn pale and made his downer lip tremble slightly.

But it was Newt who gave him the answer first-hand.

“You made the wrong choice?” He repeated, every word sounding like he had to pull himself together for each syllable he spoke. “There was a wrong choice and it was me? Is that what you are saying?”

The gears in Thomas’ head were turning at a rapid speed, but they were still not quick enough for him to answer in time.

“You…you said we could fix this. You said we could work this out, that we could work _us_ out.” Newt’s voice was starting to tremble more and when Thomas finally caught a look at the blond’s eyes, he noticed that they were glassy.

“I..I know, I-“

“You said this to me even thought you were aware that it wasn’t true. You knew that you were gonna choose Minho anyway, right? So tell me, Thomas. Tell me why you made me feel like I got a second chance when you knew all along that you were going to drop me anyway.”

Thomas couldn’t help but stare at Newt. It’s not that he didn’t suspect that something like this would happen, but he had hopped that the two of them could talk about in peacefully, not standing in the middle of Newt’s hallway while Minho was drunkenly putting on his shoes behind them.

Speaking of Minho.

“Oh damn, fuck. Better leave you two alone and give you a minute or two or whatever, anyway, bye Newt,” Minho babbled while already opening the door and stumbling into the hallway of the building.

But he turned around again with a crooked grin on his face and rose his hand to wave at Newt. “Thanks for being a better friend than Thomas, love ya!” As if Thomas needed another reminder of how much of a shitty person he was.

“Newt,” Thomas tried again, but was once again interrupted the blond’s trembling voice.

“You said you wouldn’t hurt me. I trusted you and I told you things I haven’t spoken about to anyone before.” He paused, biting his downer lip. Thomas quickly took the chance to interfere.

“Look, I…I can explain this, I promise. I just…” He glanced over his shoulder quickly, spotting Minho leaning against the wall opposite of the door, squinting at his phone. It was undeniable how out of it he was.

“Just stop it with your stupid fucking promises!” Thomas jolted and turned around again, met with eyes full of furry and hurt. “This is what got us here, right? Because you keep making empty promises without thinking of the consequences.”

Thomas wished he had something to say in his defense, but he didn’t know how much Minho had told him about their fight. Or how it had all played out in Minho’s perspective anyway. And even though he didn’t like to admit it, Thomas knew full well that Newt was right.

“Okay, uhm…I…,” Thomas stuttered, trying to find the right words to say while his anxiety was apparently trying to reach a new record high. His heart was racing and his chest seemed to be getting tighter with every breath he took. “I…we can talk about this tomorrow. We both have to go, right? I can call you or we can meet up tomorrow.” He tried to put on a smile but if anything, it only revealed how miserable he was doing after all.

Newt kept pinning Thomas down with his looks but didn’t say anything, until he let out a long breath and closed his eyes. When he spoke again, his voice sounded more composed but the quietness of it sent another wave of anxiety through Thomas.

“Don’t bother.”

Thomas stared at him, unable to say anything. He hoped for further explanations but Newt just stood there, eyes still closed and his teeth digging into his downer lip.

“Thomas,” Newt finally spoke up again and opened his eyes, all the anger gone and replaced by exhaustion. “You should go.”

All the movement that Thomas had been lacking for the past minutes suddenly came back, making him turn away his head and take a deep shaky breath. This was it, right? This was the moment where he would walk away from Newt and never come back. There was no point in drawing it out any longer, knowing that it would only make everything harder for the both of them.

So Thomas turned around.

He turned around without looking back and walked through the door, feeling Newt’s lingering gaze on the back of his neck. This time, he didn’t even try to sugarcoat this situation like he did last night. There was no point in working up hope. There was no point in telling himself that this problem could be fixed tomorrow. He had gone that route before and it worked out horribly.

He heard Newt and Minho exchanging some more words but couldn’t make out what they actually said. His mind was clouded by a grey haze, by thoughts that flew by so fast that he couldn’t possibly grab them. And he knew that he couldn’t let himself be taken in by this helpless feeling, he had to be here for his best friend that he chose over Newt and that he would choose over anyone over and over again.

Even thought that best friend was absolutely hammered right now and would probably give him the hardest time ever on the ride home.

The things you do for your best friend, right?

~°~

As Thomas had suspected earlier, Minho actually gave him the hardest time ever. Even when you ignored the fact that the black-haired man wasn’t able to walk straight for three steps, he was still an absolute pain in the ass to handle.

He kept on telling Thomas the most random stuff, things that happened ages ago and things were Thomas was sure that he had just invented them. And maybe it could have actually been funny if Thomas hadn’t been trying to fight the uprising of a panic attack the whole 40 minutes it took them to get home.

At this time of night, the busses were driving less frequently and of course they arrived at the bus stop exactly two minutes after the previous bus had taken off.

And _of course_ Thomas had left his jacket at Newt’s place and was freezing from head to toe. At least the rain had stopped a few minutes after they left the apartment. Minho was trying to help by wrapping his arms around the shivering brunet who was desperately trying to keep his breathing as steady as possible and pulled away every time his best friend started another attempt.

They had gotten some looks once they were finally in the bus and Minho just wouldn’t stop talking about every single awkward incident Thomas had in high school, but at this point Thomas couldn’t bring himself to care anymore.

Thankfully, Minho was starting to get tired when they walked the last few steps to their apartment building and when they finally reached the comfort of their home, he had fallen completely silent.

Thomas couldn’t deny that he was glad about it, but it also worried him and made the thoughts in his head scream even louder. He decided that it was best to get Minho to bed somehow, take a very hot shower afterwards and then try to sleep as well, putting off finding an answer to all his problems to tomorrow morning.

“Come on, Min,” he said, grabbing his best friend’s arm and dragging him towards his room. It was only when he turned on the lights that Thomas noticed that he hadn’t been in here since Newt left the place one week ago. But he pushed that thought away quickly.

“You should take your shirt off, you’re still wet as fuck,” Minho slurred while leaning in the doorframe where Thomas had left him, a weird glim in his glassy eyes.

“You just want to see me naked, weirdo,” Thomas countered and turned around with a weary smile on his face.

“I wouldn’t have a chance with you anyway.”

Thomas stopped in his track and looked at Minho with a dumbfounded expression that turned into a genuine smile rather quickly. “Stop drunk-flirting with me, idiot.”

“Why? Sounded like you’re free again,” Minho responded with a crooked grin.

The smile on Thomas’ face vanished immediately upon the painful reminder that Newt had just literally kicked him out of his life. Probably. He would find out tomorrow.

“I was free the last five years, now is a bad time to make a move,” he said mockingly, trying to hide the pain in his voice. He took Minho’s arm once he reached him and pulled him towards the bed, maybe a bit rougher than he needed to.

“You know, I get it,” Minho said before letting himself fall onto his bed, lazily pulling the blanket over his body.

“Get what?” Thomas watched the miserable attempt for another second before he took the matter into his own hands and draped the blanket over Minho, who looked up at him with a distant smile.

“That you’d rather fuck him.”

Thomas was already about to turn around again, but the statement made him stop. He looked down at his best friend with a confused expression before breaking into a short laugh. Short, but genuine.

“You should really stop talking now, drunkard.”

He squatted down next to the bed so that he was able to look at Minho and tilted his head slightly. With his tired eyes and the slightly pink cheeks, it was hard for Thomas to believe that Minho was even able to say one coherent sentence to Newt about their fight, or anything at all.

Minho hadn’t said anything about what he and Newt had talked about and maybe Thomas didn’t want to know. But it didn’t matter anyway, at least not right now. The only thing that mattered right now was that Minho was home and safe and that maybe Thomas was able to fix at least one of his problems. That he didn’t have to loose Minho.

Without a further thought, Thomas began brushing through Minho’s hair with his fingers, gently tracing along his hairline. He didn’t remember when or how he found out that it calmed his best friend down and made him relax, but that was just another one of those things that didn’t matter in that moment.

It worked and Thomas noticed how Minho’s whole body was relaxing immediately, yet his eyes were still glued to Thomas’. A few moments passed, the room filled only with the silent sounds of their breathing.

“Thomas?”, Minho eventually spoke up again. His voice was barely audible and Thomas wasn’t planning on speaking any louder either.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

None of them moved the slightest bit, even Thomas’ hand had stopped moving and caressing Minho’s hair. For a second, it felt like the world had come to a halt. But that second passed quickly and out of sudden, Thomas broke into a soft laugh.

“I know you do,” he said while getting up and ruffling through his best friend’s hair, leaving it a complete mess. “I love you too, man. Now get some sleep, you are way too mushy for my taste.”

Maybe it was for the better that Thomas couldn’t see the startled expression on Minho’s face and the _Are you fucking kidding me right now_ look that followed right after. But Thomas was already on his way to the door. He turned off the lights and was already grabbing the doorhandle, looking back at Minho to say something when his best friend spoke up again.

“Can you stay here?”

His voice was weak and Thomas felt a tiny sting in his heart. The Minho most people knew wasn’t weak nor did he ask not to be left alone. But the Minho Thomas knew was much more honest and for some reason that realization sent a wave of warmth and fondness through the brunet’s body.

“Sure,” he said in a soft tone and walked back into the room, closing the door behind him as silently as possible. Navigating through the dark room wasn’t a problem at all, Thomas probably knew it almost as well as his own. He sat down next to the bed again and leaned forward, grabbing the thin blanket that Minho always stored at the end of the bed.

“What are you doing?”, Minho mumbled and Thomas suspected that he was already drifting away into the sweet abyss of sleep.

“Getting a blanket?”

“You really want to sleep on the floor?” Thomas could barely make out the last words.

“Well, your fat ass is taking away all the space,” the brunet said mockingly but couldn’t help but flash a tired smile. “It’s okay, really.”

There were a few sounds coming from Minho, but Thomas wasn’t even sure if he actually wanted to say something or if he was already asleep. Either way, the sudden dawn of silence left a weird feeling inside of Thomas’ chest.

There was so much to think about. So many problems to fix. Problems that might have been avoided if Thomas would have had the courage to speak up for himself. But now that he was lying on the hard carpeted floor, still freezing under a thin blanket that was way too small for him, he knew that he would make the same choice all over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm terribly sorry for treating Newt like this after he was just confirmed to be gay last week, you deserve better, love


	11. I Know What You Want To Say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Minho has to be a nurse, Thomas notices a lot of different things and Minho actually fails at making Minho’s Special Sandwich of Doom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> songs for this chapter:  
> OK by Wallows  
> Clouds by Milky Chance
> 
> enjoy!

Thomas woke up with a sore neck, a sore throat and a sore heart. And with the dizziness of sleep still clouding his mind like the morning fog, he couldn’t tell which one of these things bothered him the most.

One thing he was completely sure of was the fact that he desperately needed Aspirin. And as the haze covering his mind slowly started to lift and made the memories from last night come back more prominent, he realized that Minho might need some as well.

“Why the fuck are you sleeping on the floor?”

Thomas had to blink several times before his vision became clear enough to make out his best friend’s face hovering over him, not looking too awake either. Actually, Minho looked not only tired, but absolutely hungover.

"Don’t act as if you weren’t the one who wanted me to stay here,” Thomas mumbled, not quite awake enough to completely open his mouth to talk yet.

Minho looked at him without an expression for a few seconds before he seemed to realize something. Maybe any other person wouldn’t have been able to tell, but Thomas noticed how his best friend’s eyes widened slightly and how his eyebrows twitched. And how he was trying to hide it by being sarcastic, like he always did.

“Since when do you listen to what I tell you?”

“Hey, don’t be mean or I’ll have to talk louder!”

Minho flinched as Thomas raised his voice at the end of the sentence and pulled a face that made the brunet laugh.

“Anyway,” Thomas continued, “I’ll get us some Aspirin, just wait here.”

“You’re such an angel,” Minho responded half sarcastically while letting himself roll back onto his bed, covering his eyes with the crook of his arm. He mumbled a few words Thomas couldn’t understand but they probably weren’t supposed to mean something anyway.

It was only when Thomas finally got up that he fully realized the extent of his whole-body-soreness. His head was feeling heavy and he felt that typical pressure on his nose that you get when a cold is fighting its way through your immune-system.

 _Fucking great. Exactly what I need right now,_ Thomas thought while slowly making his way out of the room and to the bathroom, rummaging through the cabinet under the sink to get the medicine.

When he returned to Minho’s room with two glasses of water and the Aspirin, his best friend had already managed to sit up and lean his back against the wall. Their gazes met and Thomas couldn’t help but put on a tired smile, feeling a wave of relief when Minho returned it.

Maybe they were going to be alright.

Carefully, Thomas scooted onto the bed next to Minho and handed him one of the glasses and the pill before taking one himself.

“Told you, you should have taken off your shirt,” Minho commented while examining Thomas with a scolding look on his face that still couldn’t hide the fact that he was feeling miserable.

“Oh, so you weren’t flirting with me, you were _worried._ Right.” Thomas looked at him with a crooked grin, which was all he could manage right now. His head was pounding and he could basically feel his body currently losing the battle against the cold.

“You hear what you want to hear,” Minho shot back before taking his medicine and emptying the whole glass of water in one go.

Thomas was starting to wonder just how much Minho could actually remember from last night. As far as he was able to recall, Minho had never had a blackout, even in his most drunken state.

Without any further thought, Thomas leaned against his best friend and put his head on his shoulder, simply out of habit. Minho’s shoulders stiffened for a second but quickly relaxed again and Thomas felt comfortable enough to close his eyes.

“Thomas?”

“Hm?”

“You know we need to talk about this, right?”

Thomas opened his eyes again and let out a deep breath.

“I know,” he whispered, too tired and too exhausted to raise his voice right now. “But can we wait until the Aspirin kicks in? I feel like shit.” But that was only one reason Thomas wanted to wait. He wanted to embrace the proximity with Minho for a little longer, scared that they would have another fight and he would lose his best friend again.

Minho just nodded and so they sat there on his bed, the silence of the morning hanging over them. None of them had an idea how late it was, but they didn’t care anyway. Thomas thoughts slowly started to drift off, to drift towards Newt again.

Last night, he made a decision. And even thought Thomas didn’t doubt it at all, especially now that he was so close to Minho, he was wondering if there could have been another way. If there could have been a solution where he could have both Newt and Minho. Not that there was any way to change all those decisions that lead him to this situation anyway, but Thomas was an overthinker after all and tended to imagine how things could have gone differently.

And Minho knew that. And he knew when it was time to rip Thomas out of his thoughts.

“I feel like I should start,” he spoke, apparently already feeling slightly better. Thomas wished he could say the same for himself. “You’re probably wondering why I went to Newt’s place.”

Thomas stayed quiet, feeling as if the silence was answer enough. And it was.

“Okay, look. When I left, I didn’t know where I should go, so I just went to the nearest bar and got drunk.”

 _You don’t say_ , Thomas almost said out loud, but was thankfully able to hold back. He was supposed to listen right now.

“And I thought that would help to get my mind off our fight, but it only made everything worse. I don’t know what part of me decided that it was a good idea to call Newt but it felt like he was the only person I could talk to about this.”

Now Thomas decided it was time to interfere.

“But why Newt? I thought you two just…you know.”

To Thomas surprise, Minho broke into a short laugh, followed by a regretful expression due to the headache.

“You thought we were just a simple hookup and that we only had sex?”

“I mean…yeah? Didn’t you?”, Thomas said in an insecure tone.

“We also talked a lot when we met in the bar. About all different kinds of stuff, it actually got very personal. I told him how…” Minho paused and looked down at the empty glass he was still holding in his hands.

Thomas thought about pushing further but decided against it and left Minho space to go at his own pace. He realized that this was something both of them had to work on.

“Well,” Minho eventually spoke up again. “I told him that I might quit University.”

There was a moment of silence where Minho’s words were making their way into Thomas’ mind before he jolted up, his heavy head making him regret that immediately.

“What? Since when?”

Minho turned his head to look at him with a weary smile, examining his best friend’s shocked face for a second before speaking up again.

“I’ve…actually been thinking about it for a while now but it got worse once the semester started.”

It took Thomas a moment of staring at Minho in complete shock before he was able to speak again.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were having your own problems, with Newt and all,” Minho said and looked down at the glass again. “Look, I know that was stupid. I know we can talk about stuff like this, but it felt wrong to burden you with that at the time.”

Thomas stared at his best friend for another second before snapping back into it, leaning closer to Minho again and putting his hand on the man’s arm. They were now both staring at the empty glass as if it were holding an answer to all their problems. But all it held were a few droplets of water that surely wouldn’t get them anywhere.

“Min, I’m sorry,” Thomas finally breathed, squeezing Minho’s arm gently as the guilt washed over him once again. “I should have been there for you.”

“You couldn’t and that’s okay. You had to take care of yourself,” Minho said and finally teared his eyes away from the glass, looking at Thomas instead. “I probably shouldn’t have kept it to myself in the first place. But anyway, that’s not the topic right now, right?”

“You can still talk about it if you want to.” Their gazes met and Thomas noticed a small smile flashing over Minho’s lips.

“Maybe another time, I’ll get back to it. Anyway, it just felt really good to talk about this with someone. Maybe that’s because we didn’t know each other and it didn’t feel like I was burdening him with any of this. And…I don’t know, Newt just seems like someone who…,” he paused, trying to find the right words to say.

“Like someone you could tell everything?”, Thomas finished the sentence, a sad smile appearing on his face. “I know.” He was almost certain that he saw an expression of guilt flash over Minho’s face for a second before he looked away again.

“I think that’s why I called Newt yesterday. Because I needed someone that would listen to me rant about everything that was going on inside of me. I told him about what you promised me and all. I’m sorry, maybe that wasn’t for me to tell.”

“No, it’s okay,” Thomas said truthfully. “That’s not my choice to make, it’s not like Newt is ‘mine’ or anything. Well…he probably doesn’t want to talk to me after what I said to him yesterday anyway.”

“Yeah, that was pretty brutal to be honest.”

Thomas threw Minho a sharp look, making him shrug his shoulders in apology. The brunet couldn’t hold the stare for long and decided to let himself fall against Minho again and closed his eyes.

“I…I probably shouldn’t talk to him anyway, right? I mean, I could have handled that very differently, especially since…,” he paused and drew his eyebrows together. “Wait, did he tell you why he stopped talking to me?”

“He did,” Minho answered with a guilty expression on his face. “At one point, I began blaming him for the things he did to you and all that stuff. That’s when he started telling me about what you two talked about and what happened to him, but I doubt that he told me any more than he told you.”

Thomas nodded slowly and waited a few seconds of silence before talking again.

“When I…when I said that I think you’re jealous last night…” He couldn’t deny that talking about their fight was hard for him, but he knew just as well as Minho that both of them had to stop running away from their problems. And right now was the perfect time to get everything off their chests, it was long overdue anyway.

So he continued. “You said that that’s not true, but I know you. I know when you are lying.” He ignored the deep sigh that was coming from Minho. “And I know you wanted to protect me from Newt and all. I _know_ that that’s the truth, but that’s not all, right?”

“I wanted you to make the promise because I saw how bad you were doing because of Newt and that’s the only reason.” Minho’s voice was calm and composed and when Thomas turned his head to look up at him, he noticed that his best friend was looking at him as well.

“But well,” Minho kept speaking, visibly struggling with his words. Something that didn’t happen to him often. “It _is_ true that I was jealous. It didn’t influence the promise though.”

“So you were jealous because you were scared that I would drop you because of Newt?” There was not the slightest hint of reproach in Thomas’ voice. If anything, it actually sounded rather calm.

Minho looked at him for another moment before letting out a long breath and nodded slowly. “Yes. A bit, I guess. And…”

“And what?”

“Nothing,” Minho said way too quickly to be true. Thomas examined his face with a skeptical expression and suddenly broke into a mischievous grin.

“Oh my god, Minho!”

“What?”, his best friend shot back with a face full of regret and uneasy anticipation.

“You have a crush on him! You have a crush on Newt!”

“I-“

“And you were not only jealous of him for taking up all my time, you were also jealous of _me_ because I’m the one he came back to!” Instead of sounding angry or disappointed, Thomas’ voice was almost sounding euphoric, as if he had just uncovered every single secret about the existence of black holes.

Minho was staring at him, completely baffled by the strange reaction this realization caused in Thomas. The brunet had meanwhile leaned back to get a better look at his best friend and was digging his fingers into Minho’s arm again, shaking it slightly.

“Why do I have the feeling that this is exciting you?”, Minho asked in a voice that showed how weirded out he was currently. And to make everything even odder, Thomas started to smile.

“Because it explains so much!”

“Thomas-“

“You are also mad because we once promised that we would not date a person if the other one had a crush on them as well! Back then with Teresa! So I broke not only one, but two promises!” He finally paused to catch his breath, his stuffed nose making it hard to breath anyway. Minho quickly took the chance to interrupt.

“Thomas, we made that promise _years_ ago, when we were _teenagers_. You really think I still care about that?”

“Well, yeah!” His voice was still way too cheerful for Minho’s taste. “So I’m right? You have a crush on him?”

“I…maybe a little bit,” he finally admitted and avoided Thomas’ beaming eyes. “And you don’t have to tell me that that’s hypocritical after scolding you for falling for him in such a short amount of time, I noticed that myself!”

Thomas was still looking at him, the smile slowly turning softer. He couldn’t blame Minho at all. He knew how easy it was to fall for Newt.

“But it’s just a small crush, really,” Minho continued. “And…listen, Thomas. When I told you to stay away from Newt, I really didn’t know anything about him. I’m not completely forgiving him for what he did to you, but he’s a good guy, I learned that myself.”

“Where is this going?”, Thomas asked in a confused tone, tilting his head slightly.

Minho blinked at him a few times, apparently looking for the right words to say.

“I’m just saying that I probably came to a hasty conclusion and it wasn’t fair of me to make you choose,” he paused and let out a silent huff. “You should go talk to him and fix this. And then, you know. Keep talking to him. Date him. All that good stuff.”

If Minho was trying to hide his embarrassment, it didn’t work. At least not for Thomas, who was looking at him as if Minho had just grown wings.

“But…what about-“

“I take it back, Thomas. The promise, I take it back. And it doesn’t matter if I have a crush on Newt or not, I have lived with worse crushes, I can manage. Just let me see you being happy again, okay?” He kept looking at his glass the whole time and Thomas couldn’t help but think it was cute how Minho was avoiding looking at him.

“Are you sure, Min?” Thomas squeezed Minho’s arm gently.

“Yes, I’m sure. Now stop asking, or I’ll call you a bad friend again,” he said and finally looked at Thomas with a crooked smile that sent a wave of warmth through Thomas’ chest. “Sorry about that again, by the way. You really aren’t.”

Thomas wanted to disagree, but knowing Minho he would talk back quickly anyway and he didn’t have the energy nor the will to bicker right now.

“Thank you, Minho.” They both looked at each other and suddenly all the sorrows lifted off Thomas’ shoulders. Minho forgave him and he could talk to Newt without a bad conscience. He could fix this. The wave of relieve sent another smile to Thomas lips and he almost felt light-hearted again.

“Remember how we once said that we would never fight over a girl?”

“As far as I know, Newt’s not a girl,” Minho noted with a small smile, relaxing the tension that had previously built up in his shoulders.

The brunet looked at Minho for another second before breaking into a soft laugh and leaned his head against his friend’s shoulder again, rubbing his cheek against it. His fingers were still resting on Minho’s arm, so he began tracing his skin gently, following the movement with his eyes.

“Minho. What happened yesterday made me realize something.”

“That you’re an idiot?”

“I knew that before,” Thomas responded with a small smile. “It made me realize that no one is worth loosing you.”

“Not even Mr. Handsome himself?” Minho’s tone was sarcastic but Thomas couldn’t miss the tiny hint of fondness that was swinging in his voice.

And in this moment, he knew that they were going to be alright.

~°~

Minho and Thomas were alright. Though it couldn’t be denied that something in their relationship had shifted slightly and Thomas just couldn’t make out what it was. It wasn’t something bad, but not good either. It was just _there_. Maybe Thomas would be able to categorize it if he found out what it was.

And he actually had a lot of time to do so, since he spent the next week basically glued to his bed, battling the worst case of a cold he had in the last ten years. Who would have thought that running around in the rain and then leaving on your wet clothes could do something like that?

Thankfully, Minho was there to take care of him and he actually did so pretty well. Of course he had to tease Thomas about his stupid decisions every other hour, but he probably deserved that.

Wrapped in three blankets and tea mugs piling up on his nightstand, Thomas had a lot of time to think. And overthink. He was debating if and what he should text Newt and deep inside he was hoping that the blond would make the first step.

He also talked about it to Minho a lot, who would sometimes just hang out in Thomas’ room so he wasn’t so ‘alone and pathetic’, as he liked to say. Pathetic, maybe. But Thomas didn’t feel alone. Not with the knowledge that his best friend was around all the time. And yet again he found himself enjoying the attention he got from Minho much more than he should. Thomas would probably enjoy it even more if it weren’t for him being a sweaty sniffling mess.

“Just tell him you wanna pick up your jacket, that’s a valid reason to drop by next week,” Minho suggested while sitting in Thomas’ desk chair, legs stretched out over the tabletop.

“Sure. That doesn’t sound completely heartless. At all.” Thomas’ voice came muted from under the pile of blankets and he could barely look at Minho without his vision getting blurry. “Besides, I couldn’t meet him sooner than next week and-“ His exposition was interrupted by a dry cough before his voice gave up entirely.

“Dude, just tell him you’re sorry,” Minho said and swung his legs from the desk, standing up in the same fluid motion. “Tell him the truth. That you were overwhelmed with the whole situation and didn’t mean to say what you said. It’s easy.”

“It’s not,” Thomas managed to croak. “Shut up, big man with a better immune-system than me.”

Minho just blew him a kiss and left the room.

When Thomas had finally gathered all the courage he needed to open his chat with Newt later that day after a very long nap, he still didn’t know what to write. His last text was from the night he picked up Minho, telling Newt that they got home save. Thankfully, that was one thing he remembered before going to sleep. He didn’t want to be in the situation he had with Minho again.

Newt had read the message, but hadn’t replied.

It took Thomas a whole ten minutes of staring at his phone screen before he finally started typing. And he was never fully satisfied with the words he chose, the pain killers he was on not helping one single bit. In the end, he just decided for a short simple _“hey newt, can we talk?”_

Newt read the message an hour later.

He didn’t response.

When Minho brought him soup later that evening, Thomas was an even bigger mess than before and bemoaned the lack of an answer from Newt. His best friend told him to be more persistent and that maybe Newt wanted to hear the apology first before he agreed on meeting again.

And maybe Thomas would have done that immediately if the warmth of the soup and the comfort of Minho’s presence, who was sitting right next to the bed, hadn’t made him fall asleep immediately after dinner.

He woke up 12 hours later, but his night had been restless and if anything, he only felt sicker than the day before.

This time, Minho helped him type out an apology. Three hundred words of pure heartfelt apologies, actually.

Three hundred words of pure heartfelt apologies that Newt read, but didn’t response to.

And that’s how it went from that moment on. Thomas tried to find the perfect words to text Newt and looked at his phone every minute where he wasn’t dozing off from his cold, only for the tiny ‘ _read_ ’ to crush all his hopes yet again.

At one point, he even tried to convince Minho to text Newt instead and after hours of annoying his best friend, he finally gave in. And as opposed to Thomas, Minho actually got an answer. Before Minho could even read it, Thomas had already ripped the phone from his hands, scanning over the message quickly while his shoulders sank more with every word he read.

**Minho’s phone**

hey newt. how are you doing? if you need someone to talk to about everything you can hit me up anytime. [13:48]

**newt (bar)**

Hey Minho. I’m not doing too good actually, but I will be fine. Thank you for asking. But if you’re only texting me because Thomas wants a response, I have to disappoint you. He can stop trying. I’m sorry. [14:23]

To say that Thomas was devastated would be an understatement. He was _crushed_. Now that he might finally be able to get everything together, to keep Minho as his best friend while also being in a relationship that could possibly work out, his hopes were swept away once again.

It took Minho a lot of comforting words, tissues and petting Thomas’ hair until he was finally able to calm him down. Minho ended up staying in Thomas’ room for the rest of the day, only leaving once the sick boy was asleep.

Thomas didn’t text Newt anymore after that.

One day Minho came home with Thomas’ jacket in his hand. The exact jacket Thomas had left at Newt’s place. He told Thomas that it was hanging over the door handle when he entered the apartment. None of them could figure out how it got there.

The cold went away after a week eventually, but every piece of Thomas that was freed from the ache the sickness had been causing was replaced with the pain over loosing Newt. Minho was there all the time, like he always was. With every hopeless crush Thomas had in the past, Minho had been there.

Two weeks after the incident at Newt’s apartment, Thomas woke up and felt empty.

The past days had been filled with painful yearning and even more painful stings to his heart, but on this gray November morning, Thomas felt nothing.

Maybe that was a sign of healing. Maybe he was slowly recovering and could move on, though he knew full well that it would take him more than two weeks to fully get over Newt.

To be quite honest, he knew that he would never _fully_ get over him.

The orange dog plushie that was still sitting on top of his closet, not even pushed back far enough so that Thomas couldn’t see it from his bed, was just one example of that.

It took Thomas another week and a half to finally figure out what had changed in his and Minho’s relationship.

He realized when they were both standing in the cold December air, drinking their favourite hot beverages from the coffee shop around the corner. The first snowflakes were starting to fall, which made both of them storm outside like little kids to admire the white ice crystals that got caught in their dark hair and on their clothes. It was the first time in weeks that Thomas felt light-hearted again.

And as they were standing there in the park where Thomas had his breakdown just a few weeks ago, huddled together closely to shield themselves from the cold, Thomas happened to catch a look at Minho’s eyes.

He noticed the tiny snowflakes that got caught in his dark lashes. He noticed in what beautiful contrast they stood to his best friend’s almost black eyes. And before he could stop himself, his eyes started wandering over Minho’s face, taking in the light pink colour blooming on his cheeks and the way his hair was gently swaying in the cold wind. He noticed how Minho’s lips weren’t chapped like his own, but were glossy from the cola flavoured lip balm he was using all the time.

And when he looked up again, he noticed that Minho was looking back at him, brown eyes meeting for a moment where time seemed to stop before they both pulled away, quickly pretending that nothing had happened.

But Thomas heart wasn’t acting as if nothing had happened. It was dancing around in his chest, something it had never done before. At least not with Minho as the catalyst.

That’s when Thomas realized that the thing that had shifted in their relationship was _attraction_. Full on romantic attraction. And to his own surprise, Thomas didn’t mind it in the slightest.

He continued not minding. In fact, he actually started enjoying looking at Minho. At least more than he did before, which should have probably already been a huge give away in the first place.

The only difference was that he started looking away as soon as Minho showed the slightest sign of noticing the brunet basically staring at him. Thomas hoped he didn’t actually notice.

But it also made him feel bad sometimes and he began blaming his behavior on the fact that he was missing Newt. For what other reason should he suddenly be feeling this strong attraction towards his best friend, he had been over this years ago. Or at least he thought so.

And maybe it was just his longing mind playing tricks on him, but sometimes Thomas felt as if Minho was checking him out as well. Even _flirting_ with him sometimes. Then again, those two had always flirted with each other for fun, so maybe that was just imagination.

Or was Minho actually sitting closer to him than usual when they were watching a show on his bed?

Whatever it was, Thomas couldn’t help but enjoy it. And if that were what he needed right now to feel better, than he would take it. A little flirting with your best friend couldn’t hurt anyone, right?

Only that it did eventually, pulling Thomas into a downwards spiral of self-hatred on a particularly bad day. He was once again starting to overthink every little thing he had said to Newt and to Minho as well on the evening when they had their fight.

It started to feel like he was using Minho as a distraction. Which, technically, he did. And it felt bad, Thomas knew that Minho deserved so much better than this. The fact that Minho seemed to be enjoying it, or at least not minding it, as well made everything even worse.

What if one or both of them started to interpret too much into those harmless flirts and casual touches? Would they even be able to work as a couple? Would Thomas feel miserable for getting over Newt too quickly? Was he overthinking this and Minho actually only flirted back so Thomas didn’t feel worse again? Out of _pity_?

The thoughts were growing louder and louder with every minute Thomas spent hiding under his blanket and at one point he couldn’t take it anymore, crawled out of his bed and made his way to Minho’s door without hesitation.

He didn’t even care to knock, which was kind of hypocritical since he always scolded Minho for bursting into his room without further notice. His best friend looked at him with wide eyes, alarmed by the bang of the door that Thomas accidentally slammed open way too forcefully.

“Thomas, what-?”

“Feeling bad. Very bad.”

That’s all Minho needed to know. He closed his laptop that was resting in his lap and leaned forward to put it down in front of the bed, then scooted over so Thomas would have enough space next to him and patted the now empty place with one hand.

Thomas used the time to walk to the bed and let himself fall onto it as soon as Minho pulled back his hand. Without hesitation he rested his head in Minho’s lap, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. It only took a second before he could feel the boy’s warm fingers run through his hair, something Minho was doing a lot lately.

It comforted Thomas just as much as it made his heartbeat faster. But now he decided to let himself indulge into the gentle touch and try not to think of anything at all.

None of them said a word for the next ten minutes and Thomas was almost drifting way into a light sleep when Minho eventually spoke up in a lowered voice.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“No,” Thomas whispered before he was even able to think of his answer. But it was true, there was no way he could tell Minho about it. That would only make everything more complicated.

And yet another wave of regret washed over Thomas as he realized that not talking about how they felt was the exact reason why he was lying in his best friend’s lap right now, trying to hold back tears.

Thankfully, Minho interrupted his thoughts.

“You want me to make Minho’s Special Sandwich of Doom?” The small grin on his face was unmistakable.

“Depends,” Thomas responded, not able to hold back a tiny smile himself.

“Depends on what?”

“If I’m in onion charge.”

“Of course not, I’m not a monster,” Minho said, the grin on his face growing wider.

And so the both of them found themselves in their tiny kitchen, Thomas only watching as Minho was preparing everything they needed. The brunet was leaning against the counter, his hands grabbing the edge of it as he was following Minho’s movements with his eyes.

It was one of those moments were Thomas drifted into mindlessly staring again, admiring the way Minho’s hands moved quickly to gather all the ingredients or how today there was one particularly stubborn lock of hair that kept falling into his face. He pushed it back every time it happened, accompanied by a scrunch of his nose Thomas couldn’t help but find absolutely adorable.

He hadn’t described something Minho did as _adorable_ in ages.

“You know, maybe you should try online dating next time. At least then you can check some boxes before you get yourself into trouble again,” Minho said while peeling an onion with a knife, throwing Thomas a quick side glance.

“Online dating?” Thomas sounded anything but convinced. “Knowing my luck, I will only end up with weird people who lie about their age and smell like cheap vodka.”

“Maybe that’s _exactly_ what you need,” Minho commented sarcastically while starting to cut the onion. Thomas had always admired his ability not to cry when cutting onions.

“Sounds like the absolute dream. Really.” Thomas voice sounded dead serious and made Minho laugh. The brunet felt better immediately.

For the next two minutes, Thomas just stood there silently, watching Minho finish preparing the onion and scraping it into the heated pan before adding all kinds of spices. His friend seemed to notice the absent look on Thomas face.

“What’s your restless brain thinking about now?”

“Love and shit.”

“So the usual?” Minho said with a crooked grin, carefully stirring the onions in the meantime and therefore missing the way Thomas rolled his eyes dramatically.

“Actually, I was wondering how come that you haven’t found anyone yet.” It was only when Thomas had already spoken these words that he noticed that this was probably a mistake, but hey, there’s still a chance to stir the conversation in a different direction than intended.

And Thomas missed that chance. Because when Minho threw him a questioning look, instead of playing it off as a simple statement, Thomas said the following:

“I mean, you’re like the greatest guy I know. Caring, funny, honest…annoying at times, but hey, you can’t have it all right?”

Minho didn’t look at him but Thomas couldn’t miss the hint of a lopsided smile flashing over his lips.

“Well then,” Minho finally said after hesitating for a second. “You should probably date _me_ if I’m such a great guy.”

At this point, Thomas wasn’t able to tell if his best friend was joking anymore. Usually, reading Minho’s mind wasn’t a problem for him, but his best friend was absolutely unreadable right now and maybe that was due to the fact that both Thomas’ heart and his mind were doing flips.

“You’re probably bad at kissing anyway, no thanks.” If that were the right or the wrong thing to say, Thomas couldn’t tell.

This time, Minho teared his eyes away from the pan and revealed a full on grin spread over his face. That kind of grin that sends a wave of heat through your body. Or at least that’s what it did to Thomas.

“You really want to find out that badly, don’t you?”

And to Thomas dismay, his lips were once again moving faster than his mind was processing what he was about to say.

“You’re always talking big. So prove it.”

There was a moment where none of them moved and Thomas was about to regret everything he had ever said, when suddenly, Minho was standing in front of him, examining his face with a perusing look.

“Now you’re the one who’s talking big,” he murmured and Thomas could feel his best friend’s body radiate a comforting warmth. A warmth that made him want to pull Minho closer and let it take him in.

Before he could hold himself back, Thomas’ hands were grabbing onto the fabric of Minho’s shirt at the same height were his hips were, pulling him closer subconsciously.

The allure between them seemed to be growing to an unbearable level and just when Thomas felt Minho finally lean in, his best friend paused again. Their gazes met and Thomas knew immediately that Minho wanted this just as much as he did.

The same voice that had been nagging Thomas just an hour ago, telling him that he needed to stop whatever was going on between him and his best friend, was now screaming for him to finally overcome the last bit of distance that was left between them.

“Are you sure?”, Minho whispered and the feeling of his warm breath against his lips made Thomas shiver.

“Scared to disappoint?” Thomas was barely able to keep his voice from breaking and he was sure if Minho drew this out any longer, he would actually stop breathing.

But thankfully, Minho released him a heartbeat later.

The kiss was so much gentler than Thomas had anticipated. He could feel the warmth of Minho’s lips against his own and it began spreading through his whole body, right through his chest to the tips of his fingers that were still digging into the soft fabric.

And suddenly, something fell into place. Something Thomas didn’t even know was missing finally appeared and filled up the boy’s heart with bliss and relief. And as soon as Minho pulled away again, Thomas knew that he was addicted to this feeling.

Thomas couldn’t tear his eyes away from Minho’s. They appeared to be even darker than usual and Thomas caught them wandering down to his lips before shooting up again quickly. Suddenly, the darkness was lightened up by a glim and before any of them knew what was happening, they broke into a laugh.

One of those laughs that was so heartfelt that it shook your whole body and made your cheeks hurt in the best way possible. One of those that made your heart feel like it was blooming in a million colours.

And when they had eventually calmed down, their foreheads leaned against each other and their breaths heavy from laughing, they were once again unable to tear their eyes away from each other. Thomas could feel Minho’s fingers caressing the hair in the back of his head, he couldn’t even recall when he put it there. But he hoped Minho wouldn’t take it away too soon.

Thomas didn’t pull back when Minho leaned in again, careful, almost hesitating. The hesitation dropped once their lips met and before Thomas could even completely grasp what was happening, his arms were wrapped around Minho, pulling him as close as possible.

He felt dizzy, but in a way that made him feel like his whole mind was covered with a fluffy coat of pink cotton candy. And suddenly, without knowing how he even ended up there, Thomas was sitting on the kitchen counter, wrapping his legs around Minho’s waist. But that still wasn’t remotely close enough for his taste.

They had to break the kiss eventually when both of their lungs were begging for a breath of fresh air. Thomas missed the feeling of Minho’s lips against his own immediately.

But instead of not caring about their ability to breath and pulling Minho into another kiss, Thomas leaned forward and buried his face in the crook of his friend’s neck, closing his eyes and smiling against the soft skin.

Minho didn’t hesitate this time and mirrored Thomas’ motion, his hands gently running over the brunet’s back. The feeling of Minho’s breath against his neck made Thomas’ skin tingle pleasantly and he allowed his whole body to relax and fully leaned into the comforting touch.

To his own surprise, Thomas was the first one to talk again, even if it was only a silent mumbling against Minho’s skin.

“How long have you known?”

“Don’t know. I think since somewhere towards the end of ninth grade,” Minho answered and Thomas could hear and feel the smile on his lips. He didn’t need to ask to know that Minho felt the same kind of relief as he did right now.

“Ninth grad? For real?” A silent laugh escaped Thomas’ lips and he gently brushed over Minho’s neck with the tip of his nose. “We’re so fucking stupid, do you know that?”

“Please don’t tell me-“

“Yup.”

“No fucking way!”

“Yeah,” Thomas said with a wide smile. “I thought coming out to you back then would be enough to make you realize that I had a crush on you, but, well.”

“Thomas. Just be fucking clear next time,” Minho responded in a voice so overdramatically agonized that the brunet had to laugh.

“Okay, I will. _Next time_.”

“Shut up.” His friend leaned back again to look Thomas in the eyes, but instead of pulling his usual scoffing face, he was smiling. “Why didn’t you idiot say anything?”

“Hey! You didn’t either! Besides, I was scared that you would be just another unrequited crush and our friendship was more important to me than…wait, does something smell burned to you as well?”

Minho starred at him with a baffled expression for a second before his eyebrows shot up in panic.

“Fuck, my onions!”

Before Thomas could even blink once, Minho dashed away, leaving the brunet alone in the sudden lack of heat. When he looked to the side, Minho was franticly scraping pieces of burnt onion from the bottom of the pan. The scolding look Thomas got for laughing didn’t bother him in the slightest.

“It’s okay, Min,” Thomas said with a huge grin on his face. “Dinner can wait.”


	12. I Just Wanna Take Care Of You, My Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Minho can’t stop Thomas from being the definition of a White Pinterest Girl™, Minho and Thomas test the strength of their bond by going to Ikea together and people keep wearing clothes that aren’t appropriate for the weather outside.

There was no point in denying that Thomas noticed a certain feeling of doubt creep over him when he woke up in Minho’s bed next morning. At first, he needed some time to figure out why he wasn’t in his own room and why his head felt light and free of sorrow for the first time in weeks.

And then the memories from yesterday evening came back, first slowly and then in a full crash, as if the dam that was holding back all the memories in Thomas’ head had suddenly broken down.

For a second, panic was starting to rise and Thomas had trouble sorting out the most important information he needed to recreate the happenings of last night. But when he finally put all the pieces together, the panic was replaced by relief and when he felt Minho shift next to him, gently pulling him closer with the arm that was wrapped around Thomas’ waist, calm washed over him.

Thomas could feel the comforting warmth radiating from Minho’s body, his chest slowly sinking and rising against his back and his fingers gently tracing small circles onto his stomach. Thomas had to smile, remembering how Minho just couldn’t keep his hands from slipping under the brunet’s shirt when they were making out on his bed last night, as if he had been waiting for this opportunity for ages.

And, well. That’s what he did.

But making out was actually the farthest they went yesterday. Not that Thomas would have minded if they would have ended up having sex, but the fact that they didn’t made him feel special for some reason.

With Newt, Minho didn’t hesitate, which made Thomas believe that the thing between those two was probably mostly fueled by desire and maybe even lust.

But with him and Minho, there was something different. Something Thomas wasn’t able to fully grasp at the moment and he knew that he would have to talk about it with Minho eventually. It felt exciting. Thomas was _excited_ to explore their relationship.

Because with Minho, he felt safe. It had always been this way and Thomas was certain that this would never change. He felt safe when they went through all the angsty teenage experiences back in the day, he felt safe when they began a new big part of their lives together, he felt safe during the last weeks even when their relationship was so vulnerable and he felt safe right now, lying in Minho’s arms.

He would always feel safe with him.

Adapting to the change in their relationship actually went way smoother than any of them could have hoped for. At first, Thomas was scared that once Minho fully woke up, there would be this weird energy surrounding them. But like many times before, he was proven wrong once again.

Actually, nothing changed at all. If you ignore the rise in physical touch. They never had a problem with it before, but now barely a minute went by without both of them touching, brushing their fingers over the other’s arm gently or stroking a lose strand of hair out of the other one’s face. They couldn’t get enough of each other and spent most of their time lying in Minho’s bed, limbs tangled and lips brushing over almost every inch of skin they could reach.

Both of them felt how a certain weight had been lifted off of them on the evening they first kissed in the kitchen, a presumably unromantic setting turned into exactly what both of them needed.

Thomas noticed how Minho was so much more light-hearted and _happier_ since then and he could only assume that Minho would say the same about him.

But even with all the bliss and excitement this new experience brought them, both of them were aware of this unspoken thing luring in a dark corner, waiting to be addressed eventually.

And as always, Minho was the one to finally break the silence around it.

“Thomas, I’ve been thinking.”

“I’m so proud of you,” the brunet mumbled with a grin Minho couldn’t see due to the boy’s face being squished against his chest, making him wonder how Thomas was able to breath properly.

“Oh, shut up,” Minho shot back, pinching Thomas’ side to let him know that his attempt to be funny wasn’t appreciated right now. He still couldn’t help a smile though. “I’m being serious.

“Oh fuck.” Thomas leaned back a bit to look Minho in the eyes, an unsure expression on his face. There was a faint red streak running over his cheek from where his head had been resting on the pillow and once again, Minho had to smile.

“You look stupid.”

“Is that what you’ve been thinking about?”, Thomas said with a lopsided grin.

“Yeah, that as well.” He leaned forward to place a brief kiss on the brunet’s forehead, earning a silent happy grunt from him.

“No, but for real, what’s wrong?”, Thomas said, placing one hand on Minho’s chest and running his fingers over it gently. He looked into his dark eyes again, trying to read what was going on inside of his best friend’s brain. If he could still call him ‘best friend’. The missing definition of what their relationship actually was, was another thing lurking in a whole different corner.

“We should talk about Newt.”

The small smile that was still stuck to Thomas’ face was swept away as soon as Newt’s name left Minho’s lips and an odd feeling spread inside of his stomach. He knew this conversation had to be held at some point but he wasn’t ready for that now. And the more he thought about it, the more he felt like he would never be ready at all.

Minho took the silence as a sign to move on.

“I just want to let you know that I won’t be mad or jealous if you still have feelings for him.”

Thomas just stared at him, his brows moving closer together as he let those words sink in. Before he could say anything, Minho continued.

“I understand that those feelings don’t just vanish within a few weeks and..,” he paused and let his gaze wander to the ceiling, a sign that he was carefully choosing the words he wanted to say. When he looked back at Thomas, his expression was serious yet somehow soft at the same time. “I guess it’s confusing for you and I want you to know that we can talk about stuff like this. We’ve been ignoring it up until now but I don’t want us to fight again because we weren’t communicating probably. I don’t want to lose you again, okay?”

This was the first time Thomas realized that he truly _loved_ Minho. He felt it in his heart that was jumping in his chest and he felt it in his stomach that felt like a million butterflies had been set free. And he felt it when his lips were touching Minho’s and the three magic words almost slipped out of him, still held back by some invisible barrier in his mind Thomas couldn’t get rid of just yet.

Minho, visibly surprised by the sudden affection, let out a confused hum but leaned into the kiss immediately, letting his hand slip into the brunet locks of hair and pulling Thomas closer. And when they finally broke loose from each other again, their lips were red and their breaths short and a smile was adorning both of their faces.

“What was that for?”, Minho hummed before placing another brief kiss on Thomas’ lips.

“For being the most caring person I know, dumbass,” Thomas responded, the smile still glued to his face.

Minho looked at him for a second and moved his lips slightly as if he were about to say something but decided against it. Instead, he quickly placed another peck on Thomas’ forehead before leaning back and shifting into a more comfortable position, one arm around Thomas’ shoulders. The brunet used the change of position to lay his head down on Minho’s chest, closing his eyes and humming approvingly when his lover started playing with his hair.

Minho was right. Thomas couldn’t get rid of his feelings for Newt that easily and he knew that it would take him more time to put everything that had happened behind himself. But he also knew that Minho had his back at any time. And that he would listen to him while not pressuring him to say anything he didn’t feel comfortable sharing just yet.

But right now, in the warmth of Minho’s touch and the calming beat of his heart right next to Thomas’ ear, he actually felt comfortable enough, even when thinking of Newt still sent a sting through his heart and made his head feel heavy.

“I do have feelings for him and I can’t tell when…or _if_ they will ever go away,” he said in a lowered voice, the insecurity swinging with it. Talking about this was hard, not only because of Newt but also because Thomas didn’t want to make Minho feel like he was worth any less to him because of it.

“Is there anything I can do to help you deal with these feelings?”, Minho asked, his eyes glued to the ceiling and his fingers still softly playing with Thomas’s hair.

“I don’t know.” Thomas let out a deep sigh and snuggled closer, gently rubbing his face against Minho’s chest to find a more comfortable position. “You are already doing a lot by just…being you.”

“You’re so romantic,” Minho scoffed and squeezed Thomas’ shoulder gently. “But thanks. I guess.”

Thomas wanted to throw the ‘Thank you’ right back at him, for caring so much about him and for supporting him with everything he did. Instead, he placed a lazy kiss on Minho’s chest and fell into silence again, knowing well that Minho understood what he wanted to say just by the way Thomas pressed his body closer to him and slipped his hand under his lover’s shirt to gently brush his fingers over his warm skin.

There were no words that needed to be spoken.

Thomas felt loved.

And he felt safe.

~°~

****

But as no relationship can be completely perfect, Thomas and Minho slowly started to notice the biggest problem with the two of them spending every free minute of the day together.

Minho’s bed was too small.

It’s not that they were complaining about having to sleep with their legs tangled up in each other, the closeness was no problem at all. But both of them decided that waking up with back pain in the morning wasn’t quite ideal.

Well, and Thomas once almost falling out of bed when they had sex also played a big part in making the decision to get a new and most importantly _bigger_ bed. (It also resulted in a 10 minute long laughing fit which again resulted into Thomas _actually_ falling out of bed.)

“We could also just buy a bigger mattress and put it on the floor and then we could, like, hang some pretty drapery over it and fairy lights and then it would be like a little cozy nook, that would be so cool, look!”

Minho indeed looked at the picture Thomas was showing him on Pinterest. It’s not that he had any kind of choice anyway, with Thomas basically shoving his phone into his lover’s face, making him blink from the sudden brightness of the screen.

“I want to _sleep_ there, not feel like a fucking fairy or whatever,” Minho responded with a lopsided smile, quickly focusing his eyes on the laptop in front of him again.

Thomas huffed with an annoyed undertone and propped both his elbows on the kitchen table, putting his chin in his hands and looking at Minho with a suggestive grin.

“Well, I hope you want to do other stuff besides sleeping in there as well.”

Minho, who was already typing something again, stopped in his track and threw Thomas a questioning look before breaking into a laugh that made the brunet’s heart flutter.

“Sure. But only if we get a bed frame.”

“Fiiine,” Thomas groaned dramatically. “But I still want fairy lights!”

“Okay. But no drapery.”

“You know, sometimes I feel like you don’t want me to be happy,” Thomas complained and let his head sink down onto the table, looking up at Minho with begging eyes.

“I do, I just don’t want my room to look like it belongs to a ten year old.” He leaned to the side a bit to get a better look at his grouching lover. “Sorry, babe.”

Despite trying to act like a stubborn child to get his will, Thomas couldn’t help but break into a smile. Minho had just recently started calling him by diverse nicknames and Thomas was absolutely content with it, feeling how his heart made a jump every single time. It made him feel special, even more so because despite three weeks passing since their first kiss, they still hadn’t talked about where they were relationship wise.

“Okay, so you get a bed frame and no drapery and I only get fairy lights? That’s not fair.”

Minho let out a sigh and closed his laptop, knowing full well that with Thomas here he wouldn’t get any work done anyway.

“You can have _one_ ,” he put up his index finger, “scented candle. Okay?”

Thomas eyes were suddenly glowing as he sat up again, beaming at Minho with a wide smile and nodding quickly. Minho didn’t have to hear what Thomas wanted to ask.

“You really want to go to Ikea right now?”, he said without hiding his skepticism.

“Yup!”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?” Thomas put on a small pout and kicked Minho’s foot gently under the table. “It will be fun! We can get hot dogs afterwards!”

“Yeah, but don’t forget the number one rule of Ikea.” Minho raised his brows and continued solemnly. “Couples always fight at Ikea.”

Thomas had already opened his mouth to protest when the meaning of the words Minho just said reached his mind. And apparently, the same had just happened to Minho, who was looking just as struck as Thomas felt.

So that’s what they were now? A couple?

For once, Minho was the one being at a loss of words and for some reason, that reassured Thomas and gave him the confidence to put on the grin that was previously held back by the astonishment of the situation.

“Well,” Thomas said while standing up and walking behind Minho, wrapping his arms around his _boyfriend’s_ upper body and pecking his cheek. “Then we’ll be the first couple to break that rule.”

Maybe they should have put two things into consideration before going to Ikea. One: Getting a bed home without a car is basically impossible if you do not want to carry a two meter long package home by bus, annoying every other passenger in the meantime. And two: Going there four days before Christmas was probably the actual worst decision one could make if they weren’t in the urgent need to get presents or wanted to torture themselves.

Problem one was being fixed by them just ordering the bed and paying some extra money to have it delivered home at the beginning of next year. And Minho was right when he noted that it would actually make it easier for them anyway.

Problem two was the reason why they _did_ fight at Ikea like every other couple, but that was nothing that couldn’t be fixed by two hot dogs and a delicious cinnamon bun, still warm and fresh from the oven. (At least as fresh as a frozen cinnamon bun can be.)

And in the end, Thomas even got to take home not only one, but _two_ scented candles. So there was absolutely no reason to hold a grudge.

The two of them spent their first Christmas as a couple together. Thomas’ parents went on vacation with his brother over the holiday’s and Minho’s parents lived in Great Britain at the time. He compensated for the lack of family time by video calling them in the morning and even though he was kind of unsure at first, he ended up telling them about him and Thomas.

Their reaction was absolutely _embarrassing_ (at least that’s what Minho said) and he was already trying to keep Thomas from joining them when the brunet already scooted closer to wave at them with a big smile.

Minho’s mom and Thomas ended up talking for almost half an hour, catching up on all the stuff that had happened since they last saw each other, while Minho and his dad just exchanged agonized looks, silently agreeing that they were in love with the most talkative people on earth.

They decided to tell their friends on New Year’s Eve, which they all spent together at Gally’s place. And if Minho really thought his _parent’s_ reaction had been embarrassing, he sure wasn’t ready for Brenda.

“Oh. My. God. I knew it! I always told ya, Reese!” At this point, Brenda was basically a bouncing ball, swirling around Thomas and Minho with the widest grin the two had ever seen. “I always said you’d make the cutest couple!”

“We’re not c-“

“Shut up, Minho! You are _the_ cutest!” She stopped behind them and wrapped an arm around each of their waists, pulling them close to her. “Well, coming in second after Teresa and me of course!”

As always, Teresa sent a look their way that tried to apologize for her giddy whirlwind of a girlfriend, but there was a knowing smile on her face as well.

“Congratulations you two, I’m happy for you,” she said and nodded her head towards the empty seat next to her to signal her girlfriend that now was the time to leave the two boys alone. Brenda proceeded to give them a last tight squeeze and a wet kiss to each’s cheek before following her girlfriend’s silent order.

The next to congratulate them was Frypan, giving both of them one of his infamous big hugs, followed by Winston and lastly Gally, who threw a knowing look towards Minho who only commented it with a roll of his eyes.

The evening went by quickly, accompanied by many laughers and stories about the year that had passed faster than any of them could really comprehend. To Thomas, especially the last months felt like they flew past him, while they simultaneously seemed to be the longest he had ever had. He couldn’t explain how that could possibly work either.

But at the point where he was right now, he actually started to feel like during all this time, he made the right decisions. Well, maybe not the _right_ ones, there were definitely things that could have gone a lot smoother. But at least he didn’t feel like all of those things he did were complete mistakes, they lead him to a happy relationship with Minho after all.

And that’s definitely not what he had expected to end up with.

But he was happy. More than happy.

And apparently, he wasn’t the only one to notice.

“You look happy,” Teresa said to him when they both ended up on the buffet alone, silently debating if eating that last piece of garlic bread was really worth stuffing in their already way too full bellies. (Of course it was.)

Thomas raised his brows and looked at her, returning the sincere smile on her face immediately.

“I am. I didn’t think we’d ever end up like this, but I’m glad we did.” His eyes trailed off to wander through the room, searching for Minho and finally finding him on the couch, talking to the other’s and laughing about the stupid jokes they told. Thomas would never get enough of that laugh.

“You know,” Teresa continued, stepping closer and bumping her elbow into Thomas’ side with a knowing grin. “I wondered how much longer it would take for you two to finally figure it out.”

The shocked look Thomas gave her made her laugh, only confusing the poor boy even more. And the fact that he already had one too many drinks didn’t help either.

“What? You really thought I hadn’t noticed?”

“Noticed _what_?”, Thomas croaked out, letting another laugh escape Teresa’s lips.

“That you two have a thing for each other. I’ve suspected that since tenth grade!”

“You did?” Thomas didn’t know either why his voice started to sound desperate, but the warm smile Teresa gave him and her hand gently squeezing his arm made him feel calmer immediately.

“I did,” she confirmed in a softer voice than before. “But I didn’t want to say anything and it seemed like you got over it at some point, while Minho…well…” She looked over to Thomas’ boyfriend and pouted her lips slightly.

Thomas followed her gaze with a guilty look on his face. Maybe if he wouldn’t have been so oblivious, a lot of trouble could have been avoided. But if he was being honest with himself, he didn’t want to think of this right now. He didn’t want to think of Newt right now.

Both of them stood there in silent solidarity for a few seconds, watching their dear friends have a good time and filling the air with their laughers.

“Does he make you happy, Tom?”, Teresa then asked, looking at her best friend again.

Thomas kept his eyes on his boyfriend for another second before turning his head, meeting Teresa’s ice blue eyes that still managed all the warmth the both of them felt towards each other.

“He has always made me happy.”

The whole group went outside 20 minutes before midnight and walked to the place where the city was hosting the big firework to celebrate the passing of another year. And even though Thomas half-drunkenly complained about all the negative aspects of shooting literal explosives into the air, he still couldn’t take his eyes off the symphony of colours dancing over the night sky once the clock hit 12.

And when he teared his eyes away from the billions of sparkles above them, he was immediate pulled into a long kiss that made his heart jump and his stomach tingle in the most pleasant way.

“Happy New Year,” Minho whispered into the kiss, wrapping his arms around the brunet’s waist and pulling him closer. Thomas only hummed approvingly in response, not able to form a reasonable sentence when his whole body was taken in by Minho’s lips moving gently against his own.

“You two disgusting love birds are missing the whole show,” came Brenda’s voice from behind them and Thomas huffed out a silent laugh into the kiss that made Minho smile. None of them felt the need to counter, not even Minho himself.

Thomas placed one last kiss in the corner of his boyfriend’s mouth before returning his gaze back to the colourful sky, watching the shapes and all the different hues blossom on the dark canvas. And yes, he felt kind of hypocritical for enjoying it with a huge smile, but he was happy and in love, so he gave himself some slack on this one.

Yet, he noticed in the corner of his vision, that a certain pair of eyes wasn’t admiring the beautiful show up there. When he turned his head to look at Minho, his suspicion was proven to be correct.

All the colours that were adorning the sky appeared to be even more beautiful when painted on Minho’s face, the lights dancing over his cheekbones, his nose and his lips that Thomas couldn’t get enough of.

Minho’s eyes were wandering over Thomas’ face as well and it made the brunet’s heart feel full to be appreciated in that way. His boyfriend’s eyes caried softness with them and Thomas realized that the fireworks were in fact not the most beautiful thing he could look at right now.

“What?”, he whispered and his breath was forming a small transparent cloud that traveled upwards into the gleaming sky.

“I love you,” Minho whispered back so silently that Thomas could barely make it out between the _Oh_ ’s and _Ah_ ’s coming from all around them.

Thomas heart seemed to stop beating for a second and even though it made him feel bad, he couldn’t do anything but look back at Minho with wide shocked eyes. But before he could even partly process the full meaning of those three words, Minho continued with a soft smile.

“It’s okay if you don’t say it back. I don’t want to force you and I understand that it might still be hard for you at this point. Tell me whenever you are ready, I will wait.” His smile turned into a small grin. “I’m used to waiting by now.”

And Thomas wanted to say it back. He wanted to say it more than he ever had before, but something inside of him was still holding back these three little words that carried so much meaning.

He had said them before hundreds of times, he had always been the person to tell his friends that he loved them. And he did so with Minho as well. But now that the meaning of them had shifted, he just couldn’t get them out towards his boyfriend anymore.

And if it weren’t for Minho, he would probably hate himself for restricting himself in that way. But his words made Thomas feel so unbelievably loved and cared for that there was no place left for self-doubt anymore.

That was just one of the many things he loved about Minho, actually _loved_.

And he was certain that he would say these words back someday and that he would mean them with every last cell of his body.

~°~

It started to snow again a few days after New Year’s Eve but Thomas and Minho didn’t notice it right away this time. Instead, they were spending their time in Minho’s bed that had eventually turned into _their_ bed, even though it was still way too small for the both of them.

They knew full well that they should probably try to fix up their fucked-up sleeping schedule, a reminder of the holiday’s that had passed by way too quickly. And yet, they were both still lying awake past 11 pm, their naked bodies pressed against each other under the comforting warmth of their blankets.

The fairy lights that Thomas was able to convince Minho to buy were bathing the room in a soft yellow glow and made everything even more cozy, even Minho had to agree on that.

He was facing Thomas, who had his eyes closed and was breathing calmly. Minho just couldn’t stop letting his eyes wander over the man’s tender features that were covered in golden light. Brown strands of hair were sticking out to all sides and Minho couldn’t help but burry his hand in the soft mess.

Thomas let out a half surprised, half pleased grunt upon the gentle touch and opened his eyes slowly, blinking at Minho a few times before focusing his gaze while a soft smile was making its way onto his lips.

“Hey, Min,” he whispered so gently yet still rough that it made Minho’s heart skip a beat.

“Hey.” Minho leaned forward a bit to place a brief kiss on his boyfriend’s nose and went back into his previous position again, not able to refrain from the beautiful view in front of him.

That was still something he couldn’t quite grasp. Even though it had already been almost a month since he revealed his crush on Thomas, the fact that he could actually kiss him and call him by all those stupid nicknames he never thought he’d use on anyone and that he could make Thomas happy like _this_ still seemed so unreal.

In all those years, Minho hadn’t even _dared_ to dream of something like this, of Thomas lying next to him looking more beautiful than ever, of Thomas looking at him like there was the universe in his eyes, of Thomas loving him back the way he did.

Finally, he was able to look at Thomas like this. He could count the freckles on his face, admire the way his dark lashes curled upwards, revealing those beautiful forest brown eyes. And he could do so without his subconscious screaming at him to look away and to keep him from falling for Thomas even more.

Minho was just about to open his mouth and try to articulate these feelings in some way his brain would let him, when both of them were ripped out of their sweet serenity by the shrilling ring of their doorbell.

Thomas twitched and snuggled closer to Minho immediately, burying his face in his chest and voicing his displeasure with an annoyed grunt that made Minho laugh.

“You expecting anyone?”, he asked half-jokingly and ruffled his boyfriend’s hair gently, who shook his head.

“That’s creepy, don’t open the door,” Thomas replied with a muffled voice.

“Wasn’t planning on doing that anyway.” Minho's masterplan included the one and only step of simply pretending they weren’t home. Whoever decided to bother anyone this late in the evening had to wait for the next day or drop whatever intention they had, because Minho wasn’t planning on getting up.

And he stood his ground for the next minute, before the bell was rung again, this time longer and somehow even louder if that was even possible. Minho let out an annoyed groan and leaned back a bit to give his boyfriend a look that begged for advice.

Thomas looked back at him tiredly and decided that the best advice he could give right now was a lazy shrug. Minho was just about to comment something when the bell ran once again and he came to the conclusion that whoever wanted to waste their time apparently had to be shooed away if they wanted to continue the night in peace.

His boyfriend wasn’t too happy with the clumsy movements Minho had to make to climb over him and he pulled the blanket over his head as soon as the black-haired man was finally standing in front of the bed.

“Tell them to leave,” came the brunet’s muffled voice from under the covers and Minho looked at him with a tired grin.

“Oh, really? I was just about to invent them for a nice cup of tea, smart-ass.” He heard a muted laugh and smiled at the thought of Thomas’ beautiful smile that must have been on his face right now.

Minho decided that even though he was going to throw the unsolicited guest out anyway, he should at least dress somehow appropriate. Meaning that he put on at least _some_ kind of clothes, even if it was just a shirt and a pair of boxers he didn’t even check if it were his own.

The bell ran once again when he was already stumbling through the hallway, turning on the broken light on the way. He turned the key maybe a little more aggressive then he needed to, but he wanted to make the visitor know that he was in fact not wanted here at this time of the day.

He was already prepared to show off his whole Pissed Minho Attitude when he ripped open the door, but the words got stuck in his throat when a familiar figure appeared in front of him.

But something was different. Something in Newt’s posture had changed, making him go from being taller than Minho to looking small and almost fragile. The look on the blond’s face sent a sting through Minho’s heart and he couldn’t help but feel pitiful towards him.

Minho was aware that it probably wasn’t the most appropriate reaction he could come up with, but maybe it was the oddness of this whole situation that made the question pop up in his head.

“How did you get up here?”

Newt seemed to be just as surprised by that question as Minho was, but it only showed on his face for the split of a second before it was taken over by a sad smile.

“I…the door downstairs doesn’t close properly,” Newt answered shakingly and Minho noticed that his lips were trembling as he spoke those words. And now that he got to examine the man in front of him closer, he wasn’t sure if it was due to the fact that Newt must have been feeling absolutely miserable or due to the fact that the jacket he was wearing was way too thin to be appropriate for the cold weather outside.

“I see,” Minho mumbled absently and redirected his gaze to Newt’s face, who was looking back at him with glassy eyes.

Minho knew that look. He had seen it on Thomas and other friends before several times and it made his guts turn. Newt looked like someone who was barely able to hold back in tears, like a barrel full of water that only needed one last droplet of rain to overflow. His eyes were quickly jumping from one place to another and one of his hands was wrapped around the other arm’s wrist as if he were desperately searching for something to hold on to.

“You must be freezing,” he said, trying to sound as calm as possible while he was trying to figure out what the hell the blond was doing here and why he looked so miserable. “Come in.”

He didn’t even have enough time to reconsider if the offer was a good or a bad idea, because Newt took it immediately, almost as if he had just been waiting for those two words to be said.

And before Minho could think about how he could possibly explain any of this to Thomas, he found his arms wrapped around Newt’s upper body when the final droplet had eventually fallen and Newt broke down into tears in Minho’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know how i managed to publish the christmas/new year's chapter exactly between christmas and new year's but i ain't complaining!
> 
> i hope y'all have a good start into the new year! thank you for supporting this fic. <3


	13. All Bottled Up And Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Thomas doesn’t wear any underwear, Newt finally stops being mysterious after all this time and Minho acts as a weather report for Thomas’ mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song for this chapter is Let It All Out (10:05) by COIN because this one is a sad one, babey
> 
> cw // talking about past toxic relationship

Thomas should have known that someone unexpectedly ringing the doorbell at 11:30 pm was never a good sign or could possibly mean any positive news. He just stayed under his blanket and hoped that Minho could take care of the visitor quickly, come back to bed and embrace him in his warmth.

However, a bad feeling was making its way to his guts when he heard Minho talk, sounding anything but how Thomas would have expected. There was no anger in the muffled voice coming from the hallway, if anything, it was concern. Hundreds of possible scenarios were flooding Thomas’ head immediately.

Maybe Teresa got thrown out by Brenda or vice versa. Maybe Gally got into an accident with his stupid poser car. Maybe Fry lost his job. Or maybe it was something even worse and Thomas surely could have come up with even more negative assumptions if it weren’t for the voice of the other person in front of the door reaching his ears when he poked his head out from under the covers.

He wasn’t able to make out the words, but he knew exactly who the silent voice belonged to. Thomas froze for a second and starred at the door that Minho didn’t close completely when he left. In the matter of a heartbeat, he made a decision.

Thomas jumped out of bed, the tiredness and relaxation that inhabited his body just a minute ago were swept away on instant and replaced by confusion and a hint of panic making its way to the surface. He quickly grabbed a pair of sweatpants and Minho’s hoodie from the floor and put them on while he was already rushing towards the door, stumbling into the hallway and pulling the hoodie over his head.

And there he was.

Thomas froze once again and his whole body was trying to force his fight or flight response to kick in when he saw Minho and Newt, latter shaking and crying in the arms of his boyfriend. This image somehow seemed so absurd to Thomas that he might have actually laughed out of pure confusion and insecurity of how to deal with this whole situation.

His gaze met Minho’s a second later and Thomas felt more stable instantly. His boyfriend’s eyes wandered down his body quickly and a short lopsided smile scurried over his lips, probably due to the hoodie that definitely didn’t belong to Thomas. But Minho’s face turned more serious again and before he could even begin to signal Thomas something, Newt finally noticed him as well.

“Hey, Tommy,” he whispered and the crack in his voice made Thomas forget everything that had happened between them for a second. Newt didn’t seem okay at all. Newt seemed to be _broken_.

“Hey,” he whispered back and kept staring at the blond, his swollen glassy eyes and his red cheeks from the cold outside. For a second he wanted to run over to him and wrap his arms around his body as well, like a sudden force was pulling on him. But there was still something stronger holding him back, keeping his limbs from moving even just a few inches.

Thankfully, Minho once again turned out to be a mind reader and took the lead.

“Newt, why are you here?”, he finally addressed the elephant in the room without a hint of reproach, still not letting go of Newt. Thomas knew that Minho would hold him as long as the blond needed him to.

“I, um…I locked myself out of my flat.”

Thomas and Minho’s gazes met. They both knew that this was not the whole truth, or else Newt wouldn’t be standing in their apartment, crying his eyes out.

“Hey Newt,” Thomas managed to say even though his voice still couldn’t reach the volume he wanted to achieve. He looked back at the blond. “How about you come in and tell us what actually happened?”

If the situation wouldn’t have been so serious, Thomas might have actually laughed about the startled expressions on both Newt’s and Minho’s face. His boyfriend was the first to recover and looked down at Newt with an understanding smile. But before he had the chance to say anything, Thomas spoke up again.

“You two get, uh, comfortable and I’ll make Newt some tea, uh,” he gestured towards the blond vaguely. “To heat you up, you look cold.” Thomas nodded quickly as if there was any need to underline his point and turned around to disappear into the kitchen, leaving the other two man with yet another look of confusion on their faces.

Instead of putting any water in the kettle, Thomas just stopped in the middle of the kitchen and stared at the wall, trying to come to terms with what was currently happening. Why did Newt show up? Why did he show up over a month after telling him to stop contacting him? Why did he have to show up when Thomas was finally starting to get over what had happened between them?

Yet, he still found himself to be so much calmer than he would have expected. Something inside of him was trying to tell him that now was the absolute perfect time to freak out, but he didn’t listen. There was time for that later, but now he needed to function. Because after all, he still cared about Newt and seeing him like this hurt and even scared him.

So he forced himself to function.

When he entered Minho’s room, a cup of steaming tea in one of his hands, the other two were already sitting on the bed. Newt was wrapped in a blanket and crumbling a paper tissue in bis hands, the crying had stopped though. Now he just looked exhausted.

His eyes locked with Thomas’ when he stopped in front of him and handed him the cup. A sad, yet thankful smile flashed over Newt’s lips for a second and Thomas tried to ignore the jump his heart just made.

Thomas wanted to sit down next to Minho out of pure habit, but the two had placed themselves in a way that the only free space was next to Newt, so the only other option left would be for Thomas to sit down on the floor. He decided against that and sat down next to the blond, trying to find the right distance that wouldn’t be too close for Thomas’ own good nor too far to seem distant.

Maybe he was overthinking this.

“Thank you,” Newt croaked out quietly before any of them could say anything. “Really. I know that you two have every right to reject me and-“

“Stop it,” Minho interrupted him calmy but determinately. “You’re here now and I don’t want to hear any apologies. Just tell us what happened.”

Newt paused for a moment before talking again without tearing his eyes away from the cup that he clenched in his hands, holding onto the warmth that it emitted.

“I’m here because I fled from my flat, actually. I wasn’t alone there.” He paused once again and started chewing on his downer lip. His fingers started moving, tapping against the ceramic gently and creating a quite _cling_ every time the tips hit the cup. “I was…I was with Nick.”

“Nick?”, Thomas repeated without hiding his confusion. He tried to remember if Newt mentioned this name at any point but came to the conclusion that he must have never talked about them before.

“Yes,” the blond said in an exhale and looked over at Thomas with a sad thin smile. “My ex-boyfriend.”

“Ex-boyfriend?”

“Tommy, are you going to keep repeating everything I say?” This time there was actually a hint of amusement in Newt’s voice and Thomas noticed that his smile grew a little bigger.

“No, I…sorry, you just never mentioned him.”

Newt’s smile vanished again and he gave a short nod before returning his gaze to the tea.

“I know. I don’t like talking about him.”

“Then why did you let him into your apartment?”, Thomas kept pressing and earned a scolding look from Minho.

“Stupidity?” Newt let out a huff that was probably supposed to sound amused, but his face spoke a whole different truth. “I…don’t really know to be quiet honest. I wasn’t doing well and I was desperate and I let him get to me even though I promised myself to keep him out of my life.”

Thomas had told himself to keep a certain distance between Newt and himself but he suddenly found himself closer to him, leaning their shoulders together hesitantly. When he felt no resistance from the blond’s side, he managed to relax a bit, but it couldn’t help the bad feeling Newt’s words caused in his stomach.

“What did he do to you?”, Minho finally spoke up after staying quite for the past minutes. His voice may have sounded calm, but Thomas knew that there was anger inside of his boyfriend’s chest. He knew, because he was starting to feel it himself. Whoever this Nick guy was, he was most likely the reason for Newt’s commitment issue.

“He, um…well.” He let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes, drawing his eyebrows together and slumping down a bit further. Thomas and Minho put one of their hands on each of Newt’s arms almost simultaneously, making the corner of the blond’s mouth twitch upwards briefly.

“It’s okay, I’m probably just being overdramatic about it,” he said and opened his eyes again, looking down at the hands gently caressing his arms. “We were actually pretty happy for the most part, until he started to change into a different person than the one I once fell in love with.” He huffed again and this time a hint of amusement actually swung with it. “So much about being overdramatic.”

“You’re not being overdramatic,” Minho reassured him.

“Hm. You don’t know that yet.” Newt looked at Minho with a sad smile. “But I haven’t really told anyone why exactly we broke up, only my sister knows.”

“Do you want to tell _us_?”

“I guess I have already teased you too much to back down now, right?” The smile on his lips remained but Thomas was sure that at this point, he was forcing it to stay.

“You don’t have to if you’re uncomfortable with it,” the brunet said and bumped his shoulder into the Newt’s gently to show his support. He stayed quite for a moment and finally took a sip of his tea, drawing his eyebrows together while doing so. Thomas tried not to look into his eyes too much.

“I think you two deserve to know after all the trouble I caused,” Newt eventually said after putting down the cup again, but he didn’t dare to look at either of them. “We met at a friend’s party about four years ago and immediately clicked. It didn’t take long until we became a couple and moved in together.” He paused for a second and looked at Thomas from the corner of his eye. “Remember when I showed you where my old flat was? That’s where we used to live.”

The brunet nodded slowly and was once again avoiding Newt’s dark eyes. Fortunately, he looked away again fairly quick.

“I don’t know why he changed, maybe he was falling out of love with me or…whatever.” A silent bitter sigh escaped his lips. “I still suspect that he found someone else, but I don’t have proof for that. And he didn’t mention anyone either during the last weeks.”

The amount of new information Thomas gathered from these few sentences made thousands of questions pop up in his head, but he decided to keep them for later. He didn’t want to interrupt Newt or pressure him to reveal things he wasn’t comfortable sharing and he knew that Minho thought the same, staying quite the whole time as well.

“I just started to notice that he became less approachable with each day. At first, I thought it would pass, he had a lot of trouble with his job at the time and I was afraid to constrict or annoy him if I kept asking what was wrong constantly. He started to get mad pretty quickly.” The crease between his brows grew deeper and he paused shortly before continuing.

“Thinking about it now, that should have probably already been a red flag. But you don’t throw away a year-long relationship just because you are having a hard time. You fight for it. Or at least _I_ did.” His tone grew more bitter with every word he spoke, but Thomas didn’t miss the hint of sadness that hid behind it.

“Things seemed to get better for him, he got a new job with a higher salary and better hours and I thought he’d get back to his old self again, but well…he didn’t.” The sadness was slowly making its way to the surface. “I don’t know, maybe this is too much information, but I’m someone who needs a lot of physical affection and reassurance. Nick knew that. But…” He paused again.

The room was so silent that Thomas could hear the other two breath. It felt weirdly comforting to him and he hoped it was the same for Newt.

“I mean he could have told me if he thought I was too demanding, too overwhelming or whatever it was that made him basically see through me,” Newt continued and closed his eyes again, his voice falling more silent. “Sometimes I was wondering if he even noticed I was in the same room. And I tried to talk to him about it, on several occasions. At first, he would just say that everything was fine and that I should stop worrying, but he started to become more and more upset with time. He acted as if I was offending him with my words and that I was making this ‘nonexistent problem’, as he called it, up for attention.”

Thomas noticed that Newt’s fingers gripped tighter around the cup and put his hand over the blond’s, who twitched a little and opened his eyes slightly to look at their hands. His fingers relaxed again.

“But you know…there were still good days. Days where he treated me like I was the most amazing person on earth and of course it felt good, I can’t even deny it.” He closed his eyes again. “And I kept telling myself that those good days where worth all the other times he ignored me and told me to stop being clingy, even though on some days I barely even saw him at all. Sometimes he didn’t even get home before I went to sleep and I’m absolutely not the jealous type or someone who keeps their partner from hanging out with his friends, but…he acted as if me asking where he had been all night was me controlling him and being overprotective. And I started believing him.”

“You don’t deserve this.” Thomas wasn’t able to hold back anymore. His anger towards Nick grew bigger with every word Newt said and even though he didn’t know the guy, he was more than eager to meet up with him and give him hell.

“Thanks, Tommy,” Newt said with a thin but honest smile and looked at the brunet with weary eyes. “I wish I had realized that earlier as well.”

Seeing Newt like this, seeing how broken the man he thought was basically invincible was now, made Thomas’ heart sting and squeeze the blond’s hand even tighter. Newt returned the gesture gently.

“Did you leave him eventually?” The sound of Minho’s voice made Thomas look up and meet his boyfriend’s eyes. He tried to read them but the dim light made it hard, even for him. Minho teared his eyes away after a second and looked down at their hands, almost making Thomas want to pull away from Newt.

“I probably should have, right?”, Newt responded with a bitter huff. “Instead I wake up alone one morning and find a bloody note on the kitchen table that he feels like this relationship is crushing him, that he needs space to breath and all this stuff. I kept calling him and sending him texts, I was worried that something might have happened to him. Next day I finally get a text back where he tells me that I had just proven his point at that it’s over.”

His voice had gotten more silent towards the end until it almost broke at the last words and Thomas had to swallow hard to get rid of the lump in his throat. He noticed movement through his blurry vision and quickly focused his eyes again. Minho had taken the half-empty cup from Newt’s hands and put it down on the bedside table before taking Newt’s free hand in his, squeezing it gently.

And for some reason, that was just another one of those things that comforted Thomas.

“Thinking back,” Newt spoke up again, hesitantly. “Maybe him leaving me was for the better. I don’t know if I could have done it myself and maybe I’d still be trapped in this relationship without realizing how bad it is for my mental health if he didn’t.”

“That doesn’t excuse the way _how_ he ended it,” Minho said and Thomas didn’t miss the hint of anger in his voice.

“I know. I know.” Newt reassured and gave Minho a weak smile.

“If you know that he is bad for you, why-,” Thomas started his sentence but quickly closed his mouth again, realizing that he was being nosy.

“Why I let him into my life again?”, Newt finished the sentence and looked at Thomas. “After you and Minho left I...wasn’t doing good. At all. Because…well, you know.”

Thomas knew. Because he had finally let someone into his life again and was ready to commit to a relationship after what Nick had done. And Thomas betrayed his trust. He let him down after Newt had opened up, after he had shown himself so vulnerable towards him. And before the guilt that was washing over Thomas like a flood could drown him, Newt spoke up again.

“I don’t want to blame you for any of this, Tommy. You were put under so much pressure that night and you only did what you thought was right at the moment. And I’m in the wrong for ignoring your texts and your apologies. I know that now. I know that things could have gone differently. And I’m sorry, I’m deeply sorry.”

“I’m sorry as well,” Thomas breathed, unable to tear his eyes away from Newt’s. “I should have listened to you more carefully or I wouldn’t have said the things I said.”

Newt kept looking at him for another second before an actual smile appeared on his lips and even made his eyes glow for the first time since he was here. “We both fucked up, didn’t we?” His smile was contagious.

“Yeah, we did,” Thomas agreed and let out an amused huff. “You know, I think Minho is the only one who actually didn’t do anything wrong.”

Both of them looked over to Minho, who had once again kept silent and was now looking back at them with a rather confused expression that just made Thomas’ love for him grow even bigger. But the confusion quickly turned into one of his infamous sarcastic grins.

“Thanks for noticing, been waiting for someone to acknowledge that!”

Newt looked at him with a soft smile a little longer before it slowly vanished again. The blond exhaled deeply before sinking back against the wall, looking down at their hands and squeezing both of them gently.

“Anyway, um…one particularly bad night I decided to text Nick again. It was late and I was feeling miserable and I fell asleep afterwards without thinking about it any further. But the next morning I woke up to a text from him and…well. He was nice. And understandable and he told me that he would be there for me if I needed to talk and so I told him way too much of what was going on inside of me and I was being an absolute idiot who apparently doesn’t learn from his mistakes and-“

He let out a shaky breath and bit his lip. When Thomas examined Newt’s side profile worriedly, he noticed that his eyes were filling with tears again.

“It’s okay, Newt,” he whispered and carefully lay his head on the blond’s shoulder. His fingers were rubbing circles onto the back of Newt’s hand gently and he noticed Minho doing something similar.

The blond nodded quickly and took a few deep breaths before he calmed down enough to continue talking, his voice even more silent than before.

“Nothing happened at first. We just texted a lot, since we were both out of town visiting our families during the holidays. We wanted to meet up once we got back and…we did. As you might have figured. We met earlier today to grab something for diner and…I’m not going to lie, we actually got along so much better than I had expected. There was this…weird tension the whole time.”

“Weird as in…?”, Thomas pressed.

“Weird as in we both noticed that we…wanted more from each other. And I know what this might sound like but at this point I was just trying to distract myself and…yeah. God, I sound fucking pathetic.”

“You don’t,” Minho interrupted and looked at Newt with a serious expression. “That’s normal, we both know that, right?” He broke into a thin smile and Thomas knew exactly what Minho was referring to. After all, it’s exactly how Minho and Newt had dealt with their crush on him.

Newt returned the smile wearingly and nodded slowly.

“Thank you, Min. I appreciate what you two are doing right now. I really do. And I’m glad that my subconscious led me to your doorstep.”

“But…how exactly did you lock yourself out? What does Nick have to do with this?”, Thomas asked with a confused look on his face, trying to gather the missing pieces.

“We…went to my apartment,” Newt said hesitantly, mildly thrown off by the question, which made Thomas regret asking so directly immediately. He noticed in the sound of Newt’s words that saying them was hard for him. “And…well, he went in for a kiss at one point and I didn’t pull back. And we ended up in my bedroom and I…he was telling me that he would make me forget about you two and that I don’t need you anymore because I have him now and my alarms just went off because it reminded me so much of the things he used to tell me.”

Thomas noticed how Newt was squeezing his hand tighter than before and he was sure that he was doing the same with Minho’s.

“I panicked. And I…I ran away. I grabbed my phone, a jacket and my boots and fled my own flat without taking my fucking keys with me and got on my bike and found myself in front of your door,” Newt continued shakingly. “And yeah. Now I’m here, whining about all my regrets.”

The room fell silent as soon as Newt finished, neither Thomas nor Minho knowing what to say at first. There were all kinds of different emotions bubbling inside of Thomas, reaching from deep compassion to flaming anger towards Newt’s absolute manipulative asshole of an ex-boyfriend. He was glad that Minho was the one to finally break the silence.

“Stay here over night, we will take care of this tomorrow,” he said determinately and let go off Newt’s hand, scooting to the edge of the bed and getting up. Thomas met his gaze and knew what he wanted to tell him immediately.

“You can sleep in my bed,” Thomas said and sat up again to look at Newt with a reassuring smile.

“No way, I won’t let you sleep on the floor because of me,” Newt objected.

“Why would I sleep on the-?” The brunet stopped in the middle of the sentence upon realizing that Newt had absolutely no idea that he and Minho were sleeping in the same bed. Or that they were together at that. And he was scared that telling Newt would only break him even more.

He was underestimating Newt, who looked at him weirdly, than looked at Minho and back at Thomas again before his face lightened up slightly.

“Wait…are you two…?” He looked back at Minho and to Thomas’ surprise, a smile appeared on his lips. “So you finally told him?”

Minho seemed just as baffled by Newt’s reaction as Thomas and simply nodded.

“That’s great. I’m happy for you two.”

And Thomas knew that it was nothing but the truth. But still, the hint of sadness in Newt’s voice couldn’t be missed and Thomas was certain that it would haunt him for the rest of the night.

Thomas was watching the snowflakes through the window, gently swaying through the night sky, sinking to the ground and covering the whole city in a white coat that muted every sound.

Thomas loved the snow and the peace it brought.

But inside of his head, a blizzard was causing absolute chaos.

And he would have been a fool if he really thought that Minho wouldn’t notice.

“What are you thinking about?”, he whispered, gently pulling Thomas closer and placing a kiss on his shoulder.

“Just…lots of stuff at once,” Thomas answered frustratedly and turned his head slightly to catch a look at his boyfriend who was lying behind him. “I don’t really know how to deal with this right now.”

“I’m sorry that I didn’t ask you before letting him in.”

“It’s okay, really. I would have done the same and I think it helped him.” He sighed and turned around to face Minho, putting one of his hands on his boyfriend’s cheeks and rubbing his thumb against the soft skin gently.

A few moments of silence passed and Thomas could feel Minho’s gaze on him, who was examining him worriedly. He was about to speak up again when Minho did so himself.

“You still have feelings for him, right?”

And once again, Thomas would have been a fool if he thought Minho wouldn’t notice this as well. But still, hearing it from him hurt. It hurt because Thomas had hoped that Minho actually _wouldn’t_ notice and that he could just deal with it himself without the possibility of hurting his boyfriend’s feelings.

Because he loved Minho.

But he also loved Newt.

And he didn’t know how to deal with the conflict in his heart.

Thomas also realized that Minho actually hadn’t been asking a question. Minho wasn’t trying to figure out if his suspicion, that his boyfriend loved another man as well, was true. He _knew_ that it was and he wanted to show Thomas that it didn’t have to be a secret.

Minho cared so much. He was not going to judge Thomas, he knew that. He was going to help him fix this problem and the realization made Thomas want to tear up.

“I love you, Minho.” Thomas’ voice was only a whisper and there were tears in his eyes. “I love you so much, do you know that?”

“I know, Thomas.” A small smile scurried over his lips and it was only then when Thomas realized that this was the first time he directly told Minho. And maybe he could have picked a better moment, a more romantic setting, a situation where he wasn’t about to have a mental breakdown.

But maybe it was all of those things that actually made it the perfect moment to tell him.

“Do you also know that you are not a replacement for him? That you never where and never will be?”

“I do,” Minho whispered.

“And you will never forget that, right?” Thomas bit his downer lip, but it couldn’t stop the tears from finally breaking free.

“I won’t. I promise,” Minho breathed before leaning closer and kissing Thomas, so careful and so gentle that Thomas felt like he would melt under the touch of his lips.

When they pulled away again, Thomas felt safe. But it still couldn't help to get rid of the feeling of desperation that took over Thomas' heart and mind, keeping him from thinking straight.

“This sucks.”

“What exactly?”, Minho asked, carefully wiping away the tears from his boyfriend’s cheek.

“Feeling like this. Knowing that I'm in love with two people and knowing that I definitely made the right choice because I am happier than ever before but still feeling bad about hurting someone else.” Thomas exhaled deeply and looked at Minho with a pained expression before he let his head sink against his boyfriend’s chest. “I'm not making any sense.”

He felt how a warm hand was placed on his back, fingertips gently tracing lines above the fabric of Minho's hoodie that he still hadn't taken off. He needed the comfort it gave him. He needed the comfort _Minho_ gave him.

“What if there's no right choice?”, Minho said and his voice sounded kind of absent.

“What do you mean?”

Minho didn't response at first and Thomas was starting to wonder if he had actually heard him when he finally responded, speaking every word as if he had carefully chosen it beforehand.

“You are in love with both of us…so…who's telling you that you have to choose?”

“Who' telling me to-“ Thomas blinked a few times before leaning back and looked up at Minho, unable to say anything more than those few words he had repeated.

He must have looked pretty baffled, because Minho actually had to laugh.

“Don't look at me like that, you are not the only one who thinks Newt's cute.”

Thomas had to stare at Minho for another second before the grin on his face became too contagious and he had to laugh as well, burying his face in the crook of his boyfriend’s neck and shaking his head gently.

“What does this mean, Minho?”

“I don't really know,” he answered with a soft laugh and pulled his lover closer, using the same movement to place a kiss on the brunet's forehead and bury his nose in his messy hair. “What do you want it to mean?”

“That everything could be alright,” Thomas responded without hesitation, pecking Minho's neck. The overwhelming feeling in his chest put a smile to his face and he was sure that his boyfriend could feel it against his skin.

If Minho were implying what Thomas thought he was, there would be an actual solution to all of this. A solution that could work for all three of them. But against his own human nature, he didn’t want to set his hopes too high just yet. After all, there were a lot of factors that had to be right for this to work.

Now that Minho had presented that possibility to him, Thomas was actually surprised that he had never considered it himself. Maybe his subconscious wanted to protect him from false hopes, suspecting that neither Newt nor Minho would be interested in any form of polyamory.

And maybe he wasn’t even sure if he was interested in it himself up until now.

“Do you really think this could work?”, he asked and took Minho’s hand, pressing it to his chest.

“I don’t see why it’s not worth trying,” Minho responded and the ease of his words made Thomas feel like everything would work out. At least for a second, before another load of doubt made its way to his mind.

“Okay, but…I mean we would have to ask Newt first and I don’t even know how to address something like this, it’s not that I have ever done this before and looking back I don’t even remember if I ever made the first step in a relationship _in general_ and this is just a whole different level and what if he says no? Or what if he says yes and we try it and it doesn’t work out and then you and I don’t work out anymore either and-“

“Thomas.”

“Minho,” he huffed, thrown off and maybe also slightly annoyed by the soft smile on his boyfriend’s face.

“You are overthinking this.”

“I’m doing a very appropriate amount of thinking, thank you very much!”

Minho laughed and pulled Thomas closer, placing a kiss on top of his pouting lover’s hair.

“So, do you want to try it or not?”

There was no point in acting offended anymore and Thomas couldn’t feel anything but deep love for Minho. All of this was just another demonstration of how much he trusted him, of how much he cared. And that’s also what worried Thomas.

“I…yes, I do,” he responded hesitantly and squeezed Minho’s hand. “But this only works if you want this as well. And if you want it for yourself and not only because you want me to stop feeling guilty.”

“Actually…I’ve been thinking about this for a while.”

“Oh…really?”, Thomas asked in surprise.

“Yeah.” Minho let out a soft laugh. “At least then I don’t have to handle you on my own anymore.

“Very funny,” Thomas shot back with a roll of his eyes, but he smiled. “And you are one hundred percent sure about this?”

“Yes, I am one hundred percent sure about this,” Minho reassured him and Thomas knew that he was being honest.

The hope was pushing its way further into Thomas’ chest to the point where he felt like he might burst any second. Minho wanted this and if Newt felt the same, this might actually work out. This might be the solution Thomas had hoped for all this time.

“Okay, but you ask him,” he said quickly, unable to contain a wide grin.

“Oh yeah sure, just put it all on me,” his boyfriend answered with a laugh and pressed his lips against Thomas’ forehead, making him hum happily. “But before we get to do that, we got something else to take care of.”

Thomas drew his brows together and looked up at Minho, confusion written over his face. Minho responded with an impish grin.

“We gotta take care of his stupid ass ex-boyfriend first.”


	14. Changing Is Found In Motion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Newt turns out to be a huge nerd, Thomas shows absolutely no knowledge in basic pop culture whatsoever and Minho exposes his boyfriend while he’s asleep.

Minho could be intimidating if you didn’t know him and he was very well aware of that fact. He was also planning on using it to his advantage when he waited outside of the office building Newt gave him the address to.

Fortunately, Nick had been considerate enough to notice that there were still two sets of keys hanging in the entrance way of Newt’s apartment and took one with him, even though this whole thing didn’t sit quite right with Minho. And he wasn’t going to lie, he was actually glad that he got a chance to talk to Newt’s ex on his own. He had some things to say after all and unfortunately for Nick, there was no one who could hold him back.

Thomas stayed at their place with Newt, all three of them decided that it was probably the best if the latter didn’t have to see Nick again. Though Minho had noticed that Newt was already doing better this morning, making breakfast for them and laughing more frequently (which was also due to Thomas being the absolute dork he always was). But still. Minho wanted it to stay that way.

“Hey, you’re the guy Newt told me about?”, came a voice from behind Minho and he turned around, faced by a guy around his age wearing a suit that was slightly too big for his slim figure.

“I am,” he responded, crossing his arms and squaring his shoulders. His eyes scanned Nick quickly and even though Newt has described him briefly earlier, he didn’t look at all like Minho had expected.

Nick was smaller than Newt and looked like someone who liked to talk big but never lifted a finger himself. And Minho hated those kinds of people, not that Nick needed any more reasons for the hatred anyway.

“Huh,” was all Nick said while he examined Minho from bottom to top, seemingly not giving a single care if he noticed or not. If he was trying to intimidate Minho, he wasn’t being successful.

“You got the keys?”, Minho asked and took a step closer, trying not to get distracted by the guy’s short brown hair that was slicked back with an ungodly amount of hair gel. Somehow, it really rounded off the whole image Minho got off the guy.

“I’m not stupid, you know?”, he hissed back, slipping his hand in the pocket of his jacket and pulling out a set of keys. Nick looked down at it, hesitating for a moment before handing it to Minho, who had already reached out his open palm, watching every one of the guy’s movements.

Minho didn’t bother to thank him.

“Newt can be fucking lucky that I took them with me, or else he’d be locked out,” Nick continued without being asked, stating facts that Minho already knew and, frankly, didn’t care about. “He can pick them up himself next time.”

“He won’t need to,” Minho said rather calmly and closed his fingers around the keys, holding back a smile when he noticed the small keychain of some dude from Lord of the Rings, as Newt had told him. The fact that the blond was apparently a little nerd just as much as a badass biker was very dear to him.

“He won’t need to? How come?” Nick was already annoying Minho, but that didn’t come unexpectedly.

“Because you won’t contact him again.”

“Oh?”, Nick exclaimed and for a second he actually showed surprise before turning to a more bitter expression. “Who are you to decide? You cannot keep me from texting or calling him whenever the fuck I want.”

“See, the point is,” Minho continued and crossed his arms again, “Even if you try to contact him, he won’t answer you. And I will personally make sure of that.”

Nick stayed quite for a second, blinking in confusing before breaking into a throaty laugh.

“I know who you are. You’re that Minho guy he told me about, right?”

And for a second, Minho was the one who slipped a hint of confusion by twitching his brows. Newt had told them that he talked to Nick about his problems, but he didn’t expect him to have gone into such detail that Nick actually recognized him.

“What does it matter to you?”

“You really caused him some trouble, are you aware of that?” Minho’s patience came closer to snapping with every rhetorical question Nick kept asking.

“Your little mind games won’t work on me.”

“Really? I bet you’re more than interested to find out what-“

“If I want to know, I’ll ask him myself,” Minho shot back, digging his fingers into his sleeves. Nick could be glad that they were out in the open, or Minho would snap for real, yelling at him as if there was no tomorrow. Yet on the other hand, that would be the exact reaction Nick was aiming for, and he wouldn’t give him that satisfaction.

Nick twitched slightly under the sudden harshness of the words and his gaze grew darker.

“He’s pathetic for thinking that running back to you two would solve his problems. You can tell him that, because I surely won’t when he comes back to me with a broken heart again.”

Oh how Minho wished they weren’t in the middle of a busy street right now.

“Don’t worry,” Minho replied with a smile that managed to be sweet yet intimidating at the same time. “He won’t need your toxic ass anymore, asshole.”

And with that, he turned around, telling himself that no matter what, he wouldn’t turn around to give Nick what he wanted.

Because sure, Minho was more than ready to send this guy to hell and back to earth just to send him back to hell again, but that wouldn’t help Newt. What Newt needed was a better environment, better relationships with better people than Nick. And maybe, that was something Minho could actually give him.

They never heard any word from Nick again.

~°~

Thomas jumped up from the chair as soon as he heard the keys turn inside of the lock and dashed into the hallway, almost crashing into Newt who was about to get up as well. He pulled Minho into a tight hug before he was even able to close the front door.

“Woah, hey,” he exclaimed before wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s waist as well, placing a kiss on his temple. “Everything okay?”

“Hm-hm,” Thomas confirmed and relaxed his shoulders a bit, but still didn’t let go of Minho. “I’m just glad you’re back.”

“Don’t tell me you thought I couldn’t handle that dude,” Minho said mockingly and let go of Thomas, still keeping his hands on his boyfriend’s waist.

“I did!” Thomas eyes widened. “But you never know!”

“If anything, he should be scared of _me_ ,” Minho countered with a grin before kissing Thomas gently, feeling how his boyfriend pulled him closer once again.

He allowed himself to indulge in the kiss for another moment before he pulled away and looked over Thomas’ shoulder to face Newt, who had stopped in front of the kitchen door and looked anywhere but in their direction.

“I got your keys with your little dude,” he said with a smile and managed to push Thomas to the side gently before pulling out the keys and throwing them in Newt’s direction, who caught them effortlessly.

“That’s Aragorn. Don’t tell me you don’t know who he his!” His voice already sounded more stable than Thomas and Minho had expected.

“Nope, sorry. Haven’t seen Harry Potter,” Minho replied with a grin, knowing full well that it would annoy Newt. And it did.

“Harry Potter?”, the blond voiced his offense. “Tommy, please tell me _you’ve_ seen Lord of the Rings.” He looked at the younger one with hopeful eyes.

“Umm…”

“Oh my god, I need to educate you two! I cannot believe this!” It couldn’t be missed that Newt was talking about something he was truly passionate about, shown by the sudden glow in his eyes and the excited smile on his lips.

But to Thomas dismay, that smile vanished again and the glow went out quickly. Newt looked down at his hands playing with the keys with dull eyes.

“Anyway, I…I should probably go, so…,” he looked up with a thin smile. “Thank you, Minho. Really. And thank you both for listening and letting me stay and-“

“Actually,” Thomas interrupted Newt’s flow of gratitude and exchanged a knowing look with Minho before returning his gaze to the blond. “We were hoping you’d, um…stay a little longer.”

Newt could only stare at them in confusion, looking from one to the other quickly as if he were trying to figure out if they were just playing a prank on him.

“You want me to stay?”, he eventually repeated, hesitantly.

“I mean, you don’t have to, it’s not like we want to pressure you to do anything and we certainly-“

“Yes, we want you to stay,” Minho quickly interrupted, stopping his boyfriend from going into a full on ramble once again.

Newt’s lips moved slightly as if he wanted to say something but decided against it, nodding instead and smiling almost shyly.

“I’d love to, but I have to work this afternoon. But if you want to, I could drop by later and bring my DVDs to finally educate you two uncultured swines on the most important movie trilogy that has ever been made.”

Thomas was giddy mess the whole time that they were waiting for Newt to return. And Minho couldn’t even blame him.

“Okay, so…what are you going to say? Are you just gonna be straight forward?”

“Huh, I don’t know yet,” Minho said with a shrug, looking up from his phone to his overly excited and nervous boyfriend who beamed at him from the other side of the bed.

“You don’t know yet?”

“Well, no? I will make it up as I go, where’s the problem?”

“The problem is that it took you more than six years to confess your love to me, so I just want to make sure you’re actually planning on committing this time,” Thomas complained and let his head sink down in Minho’s lap, looking up at him with a small pout.

“That was different.”

“Really? How?”

Minho sighed and put his phone down, accepting that he had to finish reading his reddit thread later. He looked down at Thomas and ran a hand through his messy hair affectionately.

“Because this time something is telling me that Newt might want this as well,” he answered and recalled what Nick had told him earlier. He hadn’t said anything to Newt yet, since the boy left their apartment not long after Minho had returned and they didn’t get a chance to talk about everything that had happened.

Now that Minho came to think of it, Newt didn’t seem interested in what Nick had said or done at all. Maybe that was some kind of protecting mechanism or maybe he didn’t want to bother Minho about it. Whatever it was, he would respect it.

During Minho’s thought process, Thomas had closed his eyes and was now running his hand over the outside of his boyfriend’s thigh gently, letting his fingers dance over the fabric of his pants.

“I really hope you’re right,” he said.

“Me too,” Minho replied truthfully and ruffled through Thomas’ hair gently. “What were you two up to while I was gone by the way?”

“Oh. We were just hanging out in the kitchen, talking and stuff.”

“Was it hard for you?”, Minho asked, grinning knowingly when Thomas let out a deep sigh.

“You don’t even know! I wish I could have just asked him, but I would have died doing that without you!” He turned his head to look up at his boyfriend, his gaze turning soft as soon as he met his eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Minho replied with eyes just as fond.

They both remained like that for a few moments, just enjoying each other’s company in silence.

“You know,” Minho eventually said, a grin spreading on his face. “This might be the last time we’re truly alone as a couple. Just saying.”

“Fucking hell, Minho.” Thomas rolled his eyes dramatically and sat up, looking at his lover with an impish smile. “You better tell me you’re joking.”

“Course I am,” Minho replied with a laugh and placed his hand in the back of Thomas’ neck, pulling him into a soft kiss that made the younger one melt into his touch.

“But for real,” Minho continued after breaking the kiss, yet staying close to his boyfriend who looked at him with curious deer-eyes. “I was joking. I’m one hundred percent in on this.”

Thomas blinked, his features turning soft again.

“I love you,” he repeated his words from earlier before kissing his boyfriend again, and Minho knew that he could never get enough of hearing those words.

“This movie is _how_ long?”, Thomas asked, his eyes full of pure disbelieve.

“Three hours and twenty minutes,” Newt answered with a content grin, holding the DVD case up in front of Thomas’ baffled face. “It’s the extended edition!”

“Come on, even I knew that,” Minho intervened while entering the room, a bowl with snacks in one hand.

“I’m gonna fall asleep!”

“I once caught you watching YouTube videos about astral physics for four hours straight, you’ll be fine,” Minho shot back with a grin and sat down next to Newt on the bed.

Thomas thankfully realized that every point he would try to make would automatically offend Newt’s taste in movies and he really wasn’t up to a lecture right now. So instead, he kept quiet and looked over at Minho, pretending not to be too nervous.

“I will wake you up if you fall asleep at the important parts. So…every single part,” Newt said with a smile before noticing Thomas look from the corner of his eye. He turned his head and drew his brows together worriedly. “Are you okay, Tommy?”

So much for pretending not to be nervous.

“Uhh…actually…” His eyes wandered from Newt back to Minho. And he was glad that his silent call for help was being heard.

“We wanted to ask you something,” Minho said without batting an eye, looking at Newt with a reassuring smile. “Or rather _suggest_ something.”

“Oh...okay?” Thomas noticed the hint of insecurity in the blond’s voice and put his hand on Newt’s arm quickly, squeezing it softly.

“It’s nothing bad, we promise!”

Newt looked at him with an alerted expression before relaxing again and actually put on a rather shy smile. “Okay.”

“I don’t want to draw this out any longer than we have to, so” Minho said and waited for Newt to return his attention towards him. “Do you think the three of us would work out together? As in a relationship.”

There was a variety of emotions crossing Newt’s face as he was trying to fully understand the meaning of those words. First, he just stared at Minho for a moment, then blinked, drew his brows together in disbelief and eventually turned his head to look at Thomas just the same before speaking hesitantly.

“You want me to join your relationship, that’s what you’re asking?”

“Exactly,” Minho answered simply. Thomas wasn’t able to grasp how his boyfriend could stay so calm while his own heart was racing in his chest.

And Newt breaking into a laugh, running one hand through his hair and shaking his head softly didn’t do much against it either way. Maybe this was a bad idea after all. Maybe Minho’s sense of judgment was actually wrong this time and Newt wasn’t even the slightest bit of interested in a relationship with them.

But before Thomas was able to come up with more explanations and possible outcomes, Newt spoke again, a pitiful smile on his lips.

“You don’t want this, trust me.”

Now Minho and Thomas were the ones looking at Newt in confusion.

“We wouldn’t be asking if we weren’t both one hundred percent sure about this,” Minho reassured.

“No. You got me wrong,” Newt objected, staring down at the DVD case he was still holding in his hands as if he needed something to hold on to. “I mean you _shouldn’t_ want this.”

Minho quickly glanced over at Thomas, who returned the look. There were dozens of silent questions in the air between them and they both knew that only Newt could answer them.

“What are you talking about?”, Thomas finally asked. “I mean…I get it if you don’t want this-“

“I do!”, Newt blurted out way too quickly and looked up again, exchanging looks between the two other man and turning more insecure again, raising his shoulders in defense. “I mean…no, that’s what I mean. I want this. But it’s a bad idea.”

“Why is it a bad idea if all of us want this?”, Thomas kept pressing, trying to make sense of it all.

“Tommy…I’ve run away before. How do you know I won’t do it again?” A sad smile slipped over his face as he looked at Thomas and the brunet couldn’t help but take his hand.

“Because we know your reasons this time,” Thomas said and underlined his words with a slow nod, not tearing his gaze away from Newt’s dark eyes full of insecurity.

“And we know how to handle it this time,” Minho added with a reassuring smile, taking Newt’s other hand as well so they found themselves in the exact same position they were in last night. And just as last night, it brought all of them comfort.

“You shouldn’t have to _handle_ me.”

The way Newt said those words, so full of self-doubt and derogatoriness towards himself, made Thomas’ heart ache. Newt had been treated badly in the past at it showed.

“Okay, then we don’t _handle_ you. We _support_ you, how does that sound?”, Minho reasoned and managed to elicit another short sad smile from Newt. But the blond didn’t respond, looking back down at their hands. So, Thomas decided to take the word.

“If you’re worried about stuff that could go wrong, tell us about it. We can find solutions, that’s what you usually do in a relationship.” He looked at Newt with a smile before quickly adding, “Which we aren’t in yet, but I mean, hypothetically.”

Thomas was a little more successful in getting a smile from Newt, but even though the blond looked like he was trying to voice his thoughts, he remained silent still.

“Even if we don’t end up in an actual relationship, we can still be here for you as friends. We _want_ to be there for you, no matter what. Both of us do,” Minho said in a soft tone, somehow conveying the exact thoughts Thomas didn’t know how to express adequately.

A deep exhale escaped Newt’s lips as he closed his eyes, thinking for a few seconds before opening them up again. He still didn’t look at neither Thomas nor Minho.

“I…I think I’m just scared of history repeating itself. Not that I think of you two that way, but…you know. I would have never thought that Nick would turn into someone like _that_ either, so…yeah,” he confessed, not able to hide his insecurity once again. Not that there was a need to do that anyway.

“That’s completely understandable and we don’t expect you to just magically get rid of it. If it comforts you, Thomas and I have known each other for almost ten years and up until now, we were able to solve every problem.” A knowing grin spread over Minho’s face and Thomas couldn’t help but return it briefly.

“But that’s just another problem, right?”, Newt interfered quietly. “ You two know so much about each other and I’m just some guy you met a few months ago.”

“That’s true, you _are_ someone we met a few months ago. But that won’t stay that way forever, right? It’s just like any other relationship, sometimes you get together with people you’ve known for years,” he looked at Thomas, “and sometimes you fall in love with someone you met at a stinky bar one night.” This time he looked at Newt with a soft smile which the blond returned sheepishly.

“So you’re willing to explain every stupid little insider you’ve ever had to me?”, the blond said with a hint of humor, making Thomas believe that he was finally starting to relax.

“Sure, if we have to! And we’ll also have to learn a lot of stuff about you, but that’s exciting! We are already willing to watch a three hour movie for you, we are _committed_.,” Thomas responded with a grin.

“Are you also willing to watch the other two movies that are even longer?”

“There are _more_ movies??”

And finally, Newt broke into a laugh. A real, sincere laugh that made Thomas’ stomach feel like a thousand butterflies had been set free inside of it.

“Okay, fine! If it makes you happy,” he said with a wide smile.

“It does!”, Newt exclaimed happily and Thomas noticed how the blond was already so much more relaxed than before.

“See, Thomas was right: It’s exciting.” Minho bumped his shoulder into Newt’s with a grin.

“You two are amazing people, I hope you know that,” Newt said after a short pause in which he just kept smiling at the both of them before it turned a bit sadder again. “I…will probably need some time to think about this, still.”

“That’s okay. We’ll wait as long as you need us to,” Minho reassured, squeezing Newt’s hand gently.

“And watching 10 hours of those movies gives you a lot of time to think anyway,” Thomas added jokingly, earning a fake-offended look from Newt.

“Hey! I will enjoy every last second of them, I can’t think of anything else while doing so!” And he laughed once again.

“Okay, now I really want to know what all the fuzz is about,” Thomas sighed theatrically, nodding towards the laptop they had set down on a chair in front of the bed earlier.

“You’ll love it, I’m sure,” Newt insisted and leaned forward to start the DVD, stopping in the middle of the movement. “Hey, um…even if we’re not officially in a relationship yet…we can still cuddle, right?”

And to no one’s surprise, neither Thomas nor Minho raised an objection.

Somehow, Thomas managed to fall asleep sprawled on top of both of them, despite him sitting next to Newt when the movie started. His head was resting in Minho’s lap, who ran his hand through his hair absently. Newt had the great pleasure to have Thomas’ legs hanging over him. He caressed the brunet’s thighs hesitantly at first, but was soon tapping his finger’s over them with more confidence.

“You should know that he drools in his sleep sometimes,” Minho said out of the sudden, throwing an impish grin in Newt’s direction, who returned the look with a smile.

“Well, that’s _your_ problem currently.”

“Could be yours as well soon,” Minho said while looking down at Thomas, ruffling through his boyfriend’s hair softly. He mumbled sleepily for a moment but didn’t wake up.

Newt looked down at Thomas’ as well, smiling upon seeing his squished face and his peaceful expression. Newt couldn’t believe that this position could be somewhat comfortable, but it didn’t seem to matter to Thomas.

“He also drinks milk straight out of the carton, just so you’re warned,” Minho continued, looking up at Newt with a soft chuckle. “And he’s an absolute nerd for physics but knowing him, he probably already told you about quantum physics or something.”

“He did,” Newt said smiling, thinking back to their first date that felt like it happened ages ago.

“Oh, and if you want to make him happy on instant, just ask him to tell you a random fact from his weird science podcast he listens to. Always makes him light up.”

“I’ll keep it in mind,” he promised and met Minho’s gaze. “Why are you telling me all this? It’s not that I mind or anything, I’m just curious.”

The other boy shrugged and looked down at Thomas again, still caressing his hair. It was already much messier than before. Much messier equaling even cuter.

“You said you were scared because there’s so much you don’t know about us yet.” Minho looked up with a reassuring smile. “So I’m trying to help by teaching you some basic Thomas 101.”

Newt felt like his heart might burst in his chest. The concept that someone would care about him this much, care about him like Nick once did, felt so strange yet so comforting at the same time.

Minho must have noticed the change of expression on Newt’s face, that had turned from a content smile to something the blond would probably describe as melancholy. He felt Minho’s fingers touch his free hand carefully, ready to pull away if Newt showed the slightest hint of discomfort. He didn’t. If anything, it only brought him the exact opposite.

“So…do I need to wait for Thomas to tell me if I want to know more about you?”, he asked, hesitantly interlacing his fingers with Minho’s while looking up again. He was met by a warm smile.

“I mean, you could do that. But don’t expect us to just tell you everything about each other, there’s stuff you got to find out yourself.”

“I’m excited to do so,” Newt said, almost whispered. 

And it was the truth.

Thomas woke up to an empty bed and the faint sound of chuckles coming from the kitchen. He needed a few moments to be awake enough to put the pieces together before he remembered Newt being here.

He also remembered falling asleep half-way into the movie and yes, he felt bad for it since he basically promised Newt to watch it for him. But maybe they could repeat it one day, the happy expression on the blond’s face during the whole 84 minutes Thomas had been able to stay awake would be worth it all over again.

It took him another five minutes until he finally gathered the motivation to get up. Sleepily, he stumbled towards Minho’s wardrobe, grabbing a hoodie from the top of the stack and throwing it over, embracing the coziness happily.

He sneaked out of the room, stopping in the hallway to listen to the noises coming from the kitchen.

There was talking and laughs, the distant rattling of kitchen utensils and silent music supposedly coming from their shitty bluetooth speaker. The smell of coffee filled the apartment and this time, Thomas enjoyed it. This was so much different from the first time he met Newt in their apartment.

And thinking back, thinking about the hurt and disappointment he felt on that significant morning, Thomas wouldn’t have even dared to believe that this could be fixed. But here he was, a sleepy smile on his face as he entered the kitchen to find Newt and Minho preparing breakfast, both turning their heads and breaking into a smile as well upon noticing Thomas’ arrival.

“Now, you look like you’ve had a great sleep, Tommy,” Newt said mockingly, scanning the brunet from top to bottom. He was sitting at the kitchen table, a steaming mug of coffee in his hands.

“He looks like that every morning, you’ll get used to it eventually,” Minho joined the teasing and walked over to Thomas with a grin, wrapping his arm around his boyfriend’s waist and placing a kiss on his hair, earning a displeased grunt.

“I didn’t come here to get attacked!”, Thomas objected half-jokingly and let himself fall onto the chair next to Newt with a yawn once Minho let go of him again. “How long have you two been up already?”

“About half an hour,” Newt answered and looked at him with a fond smile. Thomas noticed that the blond’s gaze was directed slightly above his eyes, probably admiring his bed head. “I’m surprised you slept that long, especially after missing more than half of the movie last night!”

“I’m sorry,” Thomas mumbled, leaning his head against Newt’s shoulder without further thought. “Next time we have to watch it during the day, okay?”

“Next time? I really have to think twice if I want to date a person that doesn’t appreciate Lord of the Rings,” Newt said with a smile and leaned his cheek against Thomas’ head, scrunching his nose upon being tickled by one stubborn strand of hair.

“ _I_ appreciate it,” Minho tossed in with a grin, looking over his shoulder from where he was frying something in a pan. “And sorry Newt, but if you want me you have to take Thomas as well.”

“Hm,” Newt hummed softly and turned his head so he could place a careful kiss on Thomas’ head. “I think I could handle that.”

And in this moment, Thomas felt so incredibly loved. So loved by those two people that meant the world to him, by his best friend who he also was lucky enough to call his boyfriend, by the person he thought he had lost but who came back to him.

Everything was alright again.

Actually, it was better than ever before.

Newt didn’t have to go to work that day, so naturally all three of them decided that he would just stay with Minho and Thomas for another day. It felt freeing to all of them, freeing that they could finally spend time together without any weird feelings and unresolved conflicts between them.

They decided to take a walk after breakfast (which consisted mostly of Newt and Minho talking about Lord of the Rings and Thomas struggling to understand even the slightest bit of what the hell they were talking about). Plenty of snow had fallen over night and left the streets covered in a white blanket, interrupted only by diverse foot or paw prints and parts that were uncovered to a broader extent, probably from people slipping and falling down on the slippery ground.

And of course, being the incautious fool he was, the same fate almost hit Thomas as well, if it weren’t for his two strong companions stopping his fall by quickly grabbing one arm each and putting him back on his feet.

They continued their way and ended up in the same park Thomas and Minho had sat in a few months ago, when everything had felt so hopeless to Thomas. When he was convinced that he would never get over Newt.

And, well. He didn’t. Because he didn’t have to anymore.

And just when he was about to indulge more in this upcoming train of thoughts, he was hit in the back of his head with a cold force, followed by a dirty laugh that was unmistakably Minho’s.

“You fucking-“, Thomas yelled with a grin while turning around, but was interrupted by another snowball hitting him in the shoulder, this time coming from Newt. “Stop teaming up, that’s not fair!”

“I’m not teaming up, I’m fighting both of you,” Newt corrected with a smirk and before Minho had even the slightest chance to turn towards the blond, he was bombarded as well.

And then obviously, a vicious snowball fight broke loose, where there were no rules, no morals and in the end, no winners, since all of them ended up on the snowy ground one over another, laughing and absolutely ignoring the looks some people around them threw at them.

None of them mattered, the three of them were in their whole own world at this moment.

They breathed heavily, both from the exhaustion of the chase and from laughing so much, their cheeks and noses red from the cold. Thomas wasn’t even completely sure whose leg was hanging over his hip or whose arm he was touching, but it really didn’t matter anyway.

“I think I want this,” came Newt’s breathless voice close to him and he turned his head towards the blond who was looking at the sky, a smile on his face.

“Lay in the snow and freeze you butt off?”, Minho asked half-jokingly, meeting Thomas’ gaze before looking at Newt as well.

The blond laughed and shook his head gently, taking a deep breath before speaking again.

“Not preferably, no.” He turned his head sideways to get a better look at the other men. “I want to be with you. Both of you. I want to be happy like this again.”

There was a moment where Thomas and Minho just looked at Newt in silence, the smiles on their faces growing even bigger. But before any of them could say anything, Newt spoke up again.

“You two make the happiest I’ve been in a long time and I know that I still have some fears and worries but…you make me feel like I can conquer them. Like we will conquered every problem I could possibly think of and I don’t remember ever having that with anyone before.” He paused to catch his breath again but had to smile wider as well, his eyes almost glowing. “I want this. Fuck, I _want_ this.”

And that’s how they learned that it is in fact very difficult for two people to kiss another person’s lips at the same time. But they knew that they would get used to it and that they would have to learn a lot of things anyway.

And all three of them were excited to do so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look who FINALLY worked it out! only took them over 80k words (how did that happen anyway??)  
> just a heads up that after this chapter, there will be one more full-lenght chapter and a shorter epiogue left (can you hear me cry?)


	15. In Time It Could Be All Ours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Thomas keeps losing against his loved ones, Minho makes inappropriate jokes in video calls and Newt becomes the new King of the Arcade.

Every relationship has a learning curve. Which direction it takes and if it goes smooth or looks more like a rollercoaster with plenty of ups and downs mostly depends on the people in it and their willingness to listen and take actions to improve things that might be going wrong.

Thomas was completely aware of that, it had been the same in his past relationships and in the one with Minho as well. And he was also aware of the fact that having another person join this relationship would mean more to learn, more people to understand and maybe even more problems to figure out.

But Thomas was very glad to say that all of this didn’t scare him the slightest.

Of course there had been some doubts trying to voice their concern inside of his head, especially in the first few weeks where everything was still new and unfamiliar. But Thomas found that having two amazing boyfriends who were willing to listen and who made him feel loved at any given opportunity helped a lot.

Naturally, they still came across some problems, some more prominent than others. The biggest one was probably that Newt still had those moments in which he tried to isolate himself, where Minho and Thomas could feel the sudden change in his mood and noticed the doubtful expression on his face.

But after all, they knew that those moments would happen and with time, they learned how to react to them and how to make Newt feel better. Sometimes it meant giving him space, sometimes it meant giving him all the love they possibly had to offer, which was a lot. And soon, those flashes of doubt appeared less and less often until they barely occurred anymore.

Some of the smaller problems where fixed much easier. Minho’s tiny bed for example, which they had bought a replacement for before Newt entered the relationship. To all of their relief, the new bed was actually more than big enough for all of them and they didn’t have to decide who was going to sleep on their own each night anymore.

They turned Thomas’ room into a study space and living room combination, where Thomas and Minho could work on their assignments for uni and all of them could watch shows and movies together.

(And yes, Thomas got to watch the first Lord of the Rings in its entirety this time and he had a huge crush on basically everyone, but Aragorn and Legolas especially.)

Something that made their relationship so much easier was creating a group chat a few days after they got together. Thomas was the one who wanted to name it “BBB”, an abbreviation for “Big Buff Boyfriends.” But because Thomas wasn’t quite as _big_ and as _buff_ as his boyfriends and because Minho was still an asshole at heart, he renamed it to “BBB + Thomas”.

Most of the time, the group chat consisted of weird conversations and funny reaction images they sent of themselves, and sometimes also a lot of ‘we miss you’s and ‘I miss you too’s when Newt spent the night at his own place, which actually barely happened anymore once they got their new bed.

The truth was that most times it didn’t even feel as if Newt wasn’t living with them anymore, which none of them had any complaints about. At one point, he even became comfortable with staying alone at Minho and Thomas’ apartment when they were at uni, happily greeting them when they came back.

There were several smaller additions they gradually made to their apartment that made living with another person more comfortable. The one Newt seemed most excited about was the coffee machine he brought home one day, happy to finally get a good cup of the black drink in the morning instead of the dizzy-making instant option he had to live with for the first few weeks.

And yes, it was around this time that Newt would start calling that apartment his home. Thomas didn’t even notice it at first and it was Minho who told him one night when they were alone, a soft smile on his face.

They adjusted to their life together quicker than any of them could have thought. Newt became part of their daily lives as if he had never been missing in the first place. When he didn’t have to work, he liked to pick up his boyfriends from uni and when he _had_ to work, his boyfriends would pick _him_ up.

And as Newt had once told Thomas on their date on the rooftop, he was still very keen on taking him, and of course Minho, to the center. It actually happened rather often when they could make some time, especially on the weekends. The teenagers at the center loved both of them and kept asking about them when they very too busy with uni to come with Newt.

Regarding university, after a long, very much needed talk with Newt and Thomas, Minho had decided that it would be the best for him if he didn’t drop out of uni and finished it instead, no matter if he’d get good grades or bad ones. He would take care of finding something that suited him and made him happier after graduating and his boyfriends reassured him that they would help him in every way they could.

They were starting to make plans, plans that regarded all three of them. One of them included finally buying a car, because as Newt once said jokingly, he ‘can’t have both of them on his motorcycle’. (Not that Thomas got on that thing voluntarily anyway.)

Often times, they would talk about those plans when they were lying in bed, limbs tangled with each other and silent music playing in the background. They would make plans that were realistic and plans that made absolutely no sense. And it was those moments in which Thomas felt the safest on earth.

Thomas hadn’t been at his parent’s place since last summer and he was actually excited to see his mom and his dad again, but especially his little brother Chuck. Because even though they didn’t talk much since Thomas had moved out to go to university a few years ago, they still had a great time whenever they saw each other again.

But all the excitement still couldn’t make up for the fact that he had to visit his parents alone, without Minho and Newt by his side. It’s not that they didn’t want to go with him, not at all. But Newt’s work had been busier than usual lately and Minho needed the time to catch up on some essays he had ignored up until this point.

Sure, it would be only a few days where Thomas didn’t get to see his boyfriends, but they had spent almost every waking moment together during the past weeks and as soon as they waved him goodbye and got out of sight, he missed them.

He wasn’t sure yet if he was going to tell his family about them. Until now, they only knew about Minho and both his parents had been more than happy to hear the news. Minho had been part of this family for years anyway and both of his parents were sad that he couldn’t come with Thomas this time.

Yes, Thomas’ parents had always been amazingly accepting. But he wasn’t sure about their opinions on polyamorous relationships after all. What he was absolutely sure about was the fact that he wanted Newt to be part of family gatherings and such just as much as Minho would be.

The only problem was that he couldn’t find the right time to tell his parents. He thought maybe it would be easier if he already told them some things about Newt, never explicitly calling him a “friend” or “boyfriend”. But in fact, it only made it harder in the end. Especially his mom kept asking him questions and even though Thomas technically didn’t lie when he withheld their relationship, he still felt bad about it.

And he had the feeling that the longer he drew it out, the harder it would be to drop the news later on.

_I’ll do it tomorrow. Probably. Maybe,_ he thought to himself as he let himself fall onto the bed in his old room that had barely changed since he had moved out. The only upgrade had been a new computer and a new desk chair so that his dad would have a place to hang out when his mother was using the computer downstairs.

His bed wasn’t much bigger than the one he had at home, but he hadn’t used that one in a while anyway. But even though the space was so small, it somehow felt way too empty.

Thomas got himself as comfortable as possible before grabbing his phone from the nightstand, smiling instantly when he saw the messages from Minho and Newt.

**BBB + Thomas**

**Newt** **♡**

Tommy, you can be so glad that you have me!! [21:36]

**Minhoe**

aww come on you’re overreacting [21:37]

**Newt** **♡**

Overreacting?? Tommy would have killed you if we continued watching without him!! [21:37]

**Minhoe**

we could have pretended that we didn’t see the episodes yet, I’ve done that before [21:38]

**Newt** **♡**

You are a bad person, Minho. [21:38]

**Minhoe**

yeah but you still love me [21:39]

and so does Thomas as far as I remember [21:39]

**Thomas’ phone**

i do [21:56]

both of u, actually [21:56]

also thanks newt u r a true hero!! [21:57]

**Newt** **♡**

I sure am! [21:58]

How are you doing, love? [21:58]

**Thomas’ phone**

i’m doing good, i went to bed[21:58]

just missing both of you a lot :( [21:59]

A wide smile appeared on Thomas’ face as soon as his phone screen changed from their group chat to an incoming video call. He answered the call before the ringtone even went off.

“Hey Tommy,” came Newt’s voice from the other side of the screen.

“Hey,” he whispered softly, letting his eyes wander over the blond’s face.

He was lying in bed, just as Thomas did, his head propped on his elbow which squished his face in the most adorable way. His hair was supposably put in a bun but some strands were still loose, falling into his face. Thomas was able to see enough of the blonde so that he noticed that he was wearing one of Minho’s shirt, a sight Thomas could never get enough of.

“How was your day? We didn’t get to text as much,” Newt said, ripping Thomas out of his love-sick trance.

“Uh, it was great! We went to a restaurant earlier and played some games when we got home.”

“Did you win?”

“Obviously,” said the unashamed liar and put on his most innocent grin. “What about you guys?”

Before Newt was able to answer him, Minho’s voice came from another part of their room.

“We had sex all day!”

Newt’s gaze shot to the place where Thomas’ supposed Minho was standing and rolled his eyes dramatically. But still, Thomas noticed the upwards twitch of the corners of his mouths.

“We did _not_ , oh my god,” Newt quickly corrected his boyfriend and was silent for a second before laughing softly at something Minho did behind the camera. “You’re outrageous.”

“You knew that already,” Minho said with a laugh and Thomas noticed that his voice sounded closer than before.

The brunet had observed their little banter with a smile and a light heart. He loved how Minho and Newt made him smile and he hated how they made him miss them even more.

“I really should have asked Tommy how to handle you on my own for more than a day before he left,” Newt joked as his gaze wandered through the room before stopping.

The camera was shaking for a few moments where Thomas only heard shuffling and a displeased grunt that he assigned to Newt. When the imagine finally wasn’t blurry anymore, Minho had come into the picture behind Newt, one arm around the blond’s waist. His hair was slightly wet and combed back loosely.

“Don’t worry, Thomas. I think Newt’s doing great,” Minho said with one of those grins and Thomas couldn’t help but smile even more.

“Still, you’re not making it easy, I must say,” Newt shot back and turned his head away from the camera to look at Minho with a smile. “But I’ll manage.”

“Thomas wouldn’t forgive me if I scared you away, don’t worry,” Minho responded and leaned down with a smile to place a soft kiss on Newt’s lips.

And even though they were hundreds of miles away from Thomas, he felt so much more comfortable when they were around and if it was only on the screen of his phone. The bed suddenly didn’t feel as empty anymore.

They kept talking for another hour before Thomas told them it was okay if they went to bed, they had to get up in the morning after all. The comforting feeling vanished as soon as he hung up and was replaced by emptiness taking over his chest.

Thomas kept telling himself that sleeping was the best remedy against loneliness right now, but it only led to him staring at the ceiling and missing his boyfriends even more.

A few minutes before midnight, he decided that he would give Chuck a visit. He knew his brother well enough to know that he stayed up until unreasonable hours of the night to play games on his PlayStation, which was also the reason why he was never seen outside of his room before 2 pm.

(And yes, of course their mom kept complaining about her youngest son’s sleeping schedule and his unreasonable consumption of Red Bull, but as many parents know, telling a 16 year old boy not to do something only ends in him doing the exact thing even more excessively.)

Thomas stopped in front of the door to Chuck’s room and listened for a moment, supposedly making out the distant sound of controller buttons being clicked franticly. He knocked swiftly before sneaking inside, not waiting for an answer.

“Damn, Chuck, open a window from time to time,” he complained immediately once he closed the door behind him, scrunching his nose in response to the thick air in his brother’s room.

“Okay, _mom_ ,” Chuck responded in an annoyed tone without taking his eyes off the TV screen that lit the otherwise dark room.

Thomas chuckled in response and made his way through the room, careful not to step on any of the random stuff that was scattered on the floor. He remembered too well when he stepped on a tiny Lego piece a few years back and Chuck didn’t even own any Lego at the time. So he was better safe than sorry.

“Is that the new FIFA?”, Thomas asked curiously and sat down on the ground next to his brother, who had enough decency to move slightly to the left to make some space.

“Yup,” Chuck simply said, as tersely as he always was when in the middle of a game.

“Is it any good?”, Thomas kept pressing and followed the soccer players on the screen with his eyes, watching Chuck score a goal effortlessly.

“Yup,” he repeated and finally looked at his brother with raised eyebrows. “You wanna play? I’ll beat your ass!”

“Come on,” Thomas complained while already taking the second controller Chuck handed him. “I was a fucking pro back in the day!”

Which was technically not a lie, but he still hadn’t played in a long time and to his dismay, it showed. Chuck was scoring one goal after another, but Thomas got the hang of it eventually. He didn’t win a single game though.

“You know,” Chuck eventually said with a grin after winning yet another match, “You should come by more often so you can practice and I’ll have an actual competitor!”

Thomas let out a dramatic sight and leaned back against the end of Chuck’s bed, looking over at his brother with a smile.

“I know, I know. I should come by more often in general, I really miss all of you. Maybe next time I’ll bring my boyfriends as well.”

“Your boyfriend’s _what_?” When their gazes met, Chuck looked just as confused as Thomas felt.

“Huh?”

“You said you would bring ‘your boyfriend’s’ but didn’t finish the sentence. You’ll bring Minho’s _what_?”, Chuck helped out, slightly annoyed.

“Minho’s…,” Thomas repeated slowly before the sudden realization hit him, a flash of panic rushing through him. “Um…I, uh…,” he stuttered, pining his eyes to the screen again to avoid having to look at his brother who’s annoyance had shifted to utter confusion.

“His…PlayStation?”, he asked, trying to finally get his brother to stop being nervous for no apparent reason.

“No, he doesn’t…have one.” Thomas stared at the screen for another second and hoped that Chuck didn’t notice the red colour flushing his face. His mind was racing, trying to decide if this was the right time to tell his brother about Newt.

But then again, what moment could be better when he had accidently dropped the secret already anyway. So Thomas took a deep breath and looked at his brother with a nervous smile.

“Actually, um…the sentence wasn’t incomplete. I said…uh…boyfriends. As in…plural of boyfriend.”

It took Chuck a few moments of blandly staring at Thomas before he showed a reaction, when he blinked slowly before his eyes widened.

“Wait…wait what?”

“I-“, Thomas started nervously, but his brother was faster.

“So you’re telling me that I can’t even get a girl to go out with me and you get not _one_ but _two_ boyfriends? Dude, now mom will put even more pressure on me!”

Now it was Thomas who couldn’t help but stare at his brother, completely startled by Chuck’s reaction, who was looking at him as if he had just told him that he had eaten the last bit of ice cream in the freezer.

“Uh…sorry?”, the brunet said hesitantly, trying to figure out how to react to Chuck.

The younger one let out a huge sigh, leaning back and looking at Thomas with raised brows and a smile.

“Nah, it’s okay. But man…you’ve got game.” His expression turned thoughtful before he continued. “How does this thing go…unlucky at cards, lucky in love? That’s you. Cards being FIFA.” The grin on Chuck’s face was contagious and before the younger one even knew what was happening, he was pulled into a tight hug by Thomas.

Thomas knew that Chuck wanted to complain, but he didn’t for once. Instead he felt how his younger brother patted his back carefully before letting go again, eyeing him with a smile.

“I hate that I’m considering taking dating tip from _you_.”

“Oh man, you really shouldn’t, trust me,” Thomas responded with a knowing grin, thinking back to how he got into this relationship in the first place.

But he knew that no matter how emotionally draining those constant ups and downs had been, if this were what it took him to get into this wonderful relationship, he would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

Thomas finally gathered all his courage and told his parents about Newt the next morning, Chuck by his side. Both of them proved themselves to be just as supportive as they had always been.

“I haven’t been here since I stole that orange dog thing for you,” Newt said, looking up at the blue neon letters above the entrance to the WICKED ARCADE.

Thomas looked at him with a fond smile, admiring the soft blue lights caressing his boyfriend’s face.

“Stop saying that you stole it, I will never believe you.”

“Really?”, Minho interrupted, popping up next to Thomas with a grin. “I think Newt’s more than capable of stealing stuff.”

“Thanks, I guess,” the blond said with a chuckle before turning towards his boyfriends, hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. “So, are we going in?”

Thomas gave him an affirmative nod and linked their arms, pressing himself against the blond gently to show reassurance. Because even though Newt kept telling them that he wasn’t nervous, both Minho and Thomas knew that it wasn’t the whole truth.

Newt himself didn’t have many friends outside of his workplace, only a guy named Alby which he had known since elementary school. Thomas liked him, even though he was kind of intimidated by him at the same time. He had the feeling that Alby had this strong sense of protection for Newt after what had happened with Nick, and he couldn’t really blame him for that.

Meanwhile, Alby and Minho actually got along surprisingly well and Thomas noticed how happy it made Newt.

And Thomas was pretty sure that his and Minho’s friends would love Newt as well. But that was to no surprise, since Thomas was convinced that there couldn’t be a single person out there that didn’t like Newt.

When they went into the arcade, Ava was already greeting them with one of her thin yet sincere smiles. Her eyes wandered from one of the boys to another until they stopped at Newt, resting on him for a second before the older woman broke into an actual smile.

“So it worked?”, she asked and Newt chuckled softly.

“You could say it did, yes.”

Thomas and Minho exchanged a knowing smile, but before any of them could keep the conversation going, they were interrupted by a rough voice calling for them, coming from the other side of the room where the lounge was located.

Gally was waving at them with a crooked grin, signaling them that they should come over. And as Thomas looked closer, he could see the others sitting there as well. He looked over at Newt with a reassuring smile, letting go of his arm and taking his hand instead.

They had always said that they didn’t want to make a huge deal out of Newt being in a relationship with them, especially not with their friends. The plan had been set from the beginning, that they would just bring Newt along one day and introduce him as their boyfriend. Which is exactly what they were about to do right now and even though Thomas knew that their friends were very open people, he was slightly nervous as well.

Minho had volunteered to take the role of introducing Newt, but when they stopped in front of their friends he couldn’t even open his mouth before Brenda jumped up from her seat, looking at Newt with wide eyes and a huge smile.

“Newt!? What are _you_ doing here?”

Thomas noticed that he wasn’t the only one who was staring at the two in utter confusion. Actually, the only one who didn’t seem taken aback, other than Brenda of course, was Newt himself, who returned the girl’s smile with a glow in his eyes.

“Those two didn’t tell you about me, huh?”

“Well, no!”, she responded and threw a fake-offended look towards Minho and Thomas before redirecting all her attention towards Newt again, walking up to him and pulling him into a tight hug which the blond returned without batting an eye.

The height difference between Brenda and Newt was so ridiculously large that Thomas actually had to hold back a grin. Brenda’s head was barely on level with Newt’s shoulders and if Thomas’ wouldn’t know how gently his boyfriend’s hugs were, he would have been scared that he would crush the tiny woman.

When they pulled apart, the smiles still on their faces, Brenda finally looked over at Thomas and Minho.

“I know Newt from the time I went to the center! He would always make the best coffee, I definitely overdosed on some caffein because of him!”

“Now you’re exaggerating, Bren,” Newt noted with a warm smile before eventually looking at the others, including Frypan, Winston, Gally and Teresa. “I guess Brenda has taken my introduction from me, but hey. I’m Newt.”

His greeting was returned by everyone, Teresa being last. Thomas noticed that she threw a questioning look in his direction and he knew exactly why. After all, Teresa was the only one who saw Newt in the night they first met and knowing his best friend, she definitely remembered his face.

“Sorry guys, but I’m keeping him for the evening, we’ve got some stuff to catch up on”, Brenda exclaimed and linked arms with Newt, pulling him back to her seat with a grin, where Newt was greeted with a smile coming from Teresa.

Thomas felt kind of lost when his boyfriend was suddenly taken away from him, but luckily, he had another one right on the other side, who was now taking his hand with an amused huff and pulled him towards an empty space on the couch, which happened to be right next to Newt.

Even though Brenda acted on her threat of occupying Newt, the other one’s somehow managed to be part of their conversation as well and soon it felt like the blond had always been part of their group, as if there had always been a place for him that he fit in naturally.

The light mood almost made Thomas forget that they still hadn’t really spoken about their relationship with Newt, but it made him worry less about it just the same. Everyone seemed to enjoy the blond’s company, even Gally who usually needed some time before he was able to warm up to new people.

Not only did their friends like Newt, it also appeared to be the same for the blond himself. He talked about how things in the center were coming along with Brenda and joked about old times, he talked about this new book Teresa kept on raving about with her, he told funny stories everyone laughed about.

And whenever Thomas thought that no one was paying attention, he watched Newt with absolute heart-eyes, admiring his outgoing nature. Next to him, he felt Minho do the exact same.

“Anyway,” Brenda suddenly exclaimed, slapping her hands on her tights and getting up swiftly. “I haven’t beaten my wonderful girlfriend at DDR yet, so if you’d excuse us.” She took Teresa’s hand and helped her up, placing a quick kiss on her cheek before pulling her along towards the platforms.

Thomas looked after them with a soft smile before looking at Newt, the smile turning into a grin.

“That reminds me, we still have to introduce you to something.”

Newt met his gaze with confusion but nodded with smile and let himself get dragged along by Thomas, who took the blond’s hand without looking at the other boy’s reactions. They might as well figure it out themselves at this point.

“So…we have this _game_ ,” he began explaining.

“More of a competition you might say,” Minho joined in, taking Newt’s free hand and looking at him with a grin. “You’ve played air hockey before?”

Newt blinked at Minho in confusion before laughing gently, followed by an enthusiastic nod.

“We had one at the center at one point, but it broke down unfortunately. I would usually let the others win because I was too good, not to brag.”

“But you _are_ bragging,” Thomas complained jokingly and let go off Newt’s hand to load the air hockey table with some coins.

“You haven’t seen us play yet,” Minho reasoned and wrapped his arm arounds Newt’s waist, pulling him closer gently. “Well…you’ll definitely have a chance against Thomas though.”

“Hey!”, Thomas voiced his offense.

“You haven’t won a game in weeks!”

“No need to rub it in and crush my spirit!”

“I think you’ll both loose, actually,” Newt interrupted their banter with a grin before pecking Minho’s cheek and making his way to the air hockey table, taking one of the pucks.

Without even looking at his hands, he let the thin disc dance around his fingers as if he had done it all his life, mesmerizing both of his boyfriends with the fluent movement. The smug grin on his face proved that he knew exactly what he was doing and Thomas wondered if Newt was actually good at air hockey or if he was just good and distracting his opponents.

“Anyway,” Newt continued while placing the puck on the table. “What happens to the loser?”

“The loser,” Minho declared, “Has to do the dished for the rest of the week.”

“Glad I’m not gonna lose then,” the blond replied mockingly and looked over at Thomas who had already taken his stance at the other side of the table, ready to beat Newt’s ass.

To no one’s surprise it was actually Thomas’ ass who got beaten, first by Newt and then also by Minho, who didn’t even try to hide his glee like his other boyfriend did. It all ended in a dramatic showdown between Minho and Newt, that was settled by just one point Newt made two seconds before the timer ran out.

All of them did eventually realize that the last battle wasn’t really necessary, since Thomas had lost anyway and was doomed to take care of the pile of dirty plates that was already waiting at home anyway. But at least the brunet had a good show to watch.

“Aw Tommy, I’m sorry,” Newt mocked him while wrapping his arms around him from behind and pulling him into a hug. “Maybe you’ll have better luck next time.”

“He won’t-“

“Minho,” Newt interrupted in a fake-scolding tone and looked up at his boyfriend. “Don’t be mean!”

“Fine,” Minho responded with a roll of his eyes and a smile, leaning forward and cupping Thomas’ face with an innocent smile. “You are the best air hockey player I have _ever_ seen.”

“You’re a bad liar,” Thomas noted with a smile before putting his hands on Minho’s sides, pulling him into a kiss. And just when Minho pulled back and was about to kiss Newt as well, all three of them were ripped out of the moment by a voice coming from behind them.

“I knew it,” Teresa said calmly, her arms crossed in front of her chest and a gentle smile on her lips.

The three stared at the girl for a second, completely shocked by her sudden appearance, before stumbling away from each other quickly as if it would make her unsee any of it. But to their surprise, Teresa laughed and shook her head.

“Come on, guys. You didn’t even try to hide it back there, giving each other these looks all the time. Now stop looking like _that_.”

‘ _That_ ’ was referring to Thomas standing there as straight as a pole, staring at Teresa like a deer in headlights, Newt running his hand through his hair nervously while avoiding looking at the young woman and Minho crossing his arms protectively in front of himself, a regretful expression on his face. They looked as if they were little kids who had just been caught stealing bubblegum from the corner store and the sight of it made Teresa laugh once again.

“So, Newt,” she continued, nodding towards the air hockey table, “I hope you have finally gotten Minho off of his high horse.”

It took the Newt a second before he was finally able to move and look at Teresa again and another one to break into a grin.

“I totally did.”

“Thank god, it was about time!” She unfolded her arms and walked over to them, giving both of her friends a gentle slap on the upper arm. “You two could have told me earlier.” The way she said it held no kind of reproach.

“Sorry,” Thomas said and rubbed the place where Teresa had slapped him. “We were about to, but…”

“Brenda was quicker?”

“Brenda was quicker,” Thomas confirmed and mirrored Teresa’s smile.

“Now that you found out anyway, we might as well tell the others,” Minho said with one of those lighthearted shrugs and looked over at his boyfriends for confirmation.

Both Newt and Thomas nodded in sync, a smile on their faces. And now that Thomas thought about it more and that he had seen Teresa’s reaction, he actually felt relieved and excited at the same time. Because even though the last few months had consisted of ups and downs, of problems Thomas never thought would ever affect him in any way, everything had turned out fine in the end.

More than fine, actually. He couldn’t remember ever being as happy as he was lately, with Newt and Minho by his side. Their love and support made every single one of those rollercoaster bumps worth it.

And Thomas was excited to tell their story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, this was it: the last full-lenght chapter of this story. the next and last upload will be a shorter epilogue next tuesday. oh man, i can't believe this is going to be over so soon. thank you all for your amazing support. <3


	16. Epilogue - My Dreams Are Reality Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Thomas has finally found the life he had been looking for all this time, Minho finally ended up with his long-time crush while getting even more than he could have ever hoped for and Newt is finally able to love and feel loved again.

„This feels illegal,“ Minho said, looking around the place suspiciously before a wide grin appeared on his face. “I like it.”

“Of course you do,” Thomas commented breathlessly. He stood next to his boyfriend, resting his hands on his knees to catch some breath after the long way up.

“Dude, you’re so out of shape.”

“Would you stop calling him ‘dude’ already,” Newt joined the conversation.

“Is bro better?”

“No,” the blond complained and rolled his eyes dramatically, but smiled, nonetheless. It didn’t take him long to get used to his boyfriends’ shenanigans and after all, they were just some of many things that made him love those two even more.

He had actually been looking forward to this day where he could finally take both of them up to the rooftop, showing Minho one of his dearest places on earth. It held so many memories, some bad ones that he would rather forget and some that he remembered fondly. And he was more than ready to make more of the latter with Minho and Thomas.

The other boys were already headed to the railing, leaning against it with their arms rested on top. Newt watched them with a fond smile, watched them look over the beautiful city skyline that was covered in a soft yellow glow from the last beams of the spring sun.

He remembered how differently it had looked when he took Thomas here the last time, how the sky was coloured blue and pink and orange and how he couldn’t even admire it because he couldn’t keep his eyes off Thomas.

That last thing hadn’t changed. Or maybe it did, because this time Thomas wasn’t the only person that made Newt’s attention shift from the beautifully painted sky.

Before he joined his boyfriends, he put down some stuff he had carried up here, right next to where Minho and Thomas had dropped their bags. He had promised Thomas, and especially Minho, that he wanted to repeat the first date that took place up here, so they brough lots of snacks and drinks. (Of course, banana milk as well.)

When Newt walked up behind his boyfriends, they were currently looking at a spot far in the distance, whispering to each other and supposedly trying to figure out what building it was that reached up into the sky outside of the city.

Without interrupting their quiet discussion, he carefully wrapped one arm around Thomas and rested his chin on the brunet’s shoulder, while putting his free hand on Minho’s back and caressing it gently.

“Do you have any idea what that thing over there is?”, Thomas asked him and leaned into his touch.

“No idea,” Newt responded without even taking a look, a content smile on his face as he let his gaze wander over the city.

The sun was taking the last bits of warmth with it and Newt wondered how long it would take them before they had to seek shelter under the blankets they had brought with them. But right now, he just wanted to enjoy the view a little longer.

“I have always loved how up here, I feel like I’m on top of the world while I’m simultaneously being grounded by how small I actually am. I’m just one of so many people that live in this city and all of them have their own lives, their own problems and their own happiness.”

Newt didn’t plan on voicing his thoughts out loud, but it felt good, nonetheless. He thought back to when he had last spoken them out when he was standing at the same spot with Nick almost two years ago. And he thought back to how he had responded. _‘It’s just a city,’_ he had said. _‘The people down there don’t give a shit about us and you should do the same.’_

“I was thinking the same,” Thomas whispered and leaned his head against Newt’s. “It’s…kinda scary, but also comforting.”

Minho didn’t say anything and when Newt threw a glance at him, his face was traced with unreadable thoughts. But as soon as Minho noticed Newt’s look on him, he met him with a fond smile and Newt suddenly could tell that he was thinking about something similar.

“Is this why this place is so important to you?”, Minho asked after a second of silence and Newt shrugged.

“Partly. It’s a good place to just think about everything or nothing at all and it has been a space of comfort since the day we found it.”

“We?” Thomas turned his head to get a better look at his boyfriend. “You mean…?”

“Nick and I, yes,” Newt confirmed with a silent sigh. He kept talking before Thomas or Minho were able to interrupt him. “We actually carried most of the things up here together, made it _our_ space. We spent a lot of warm summer nights up here, until…”

He didn’t have to finish the sentence. Newt felt how Thomas pressed his body closer to him and how Minho looked at him in silent comfort.

“I didn’t go here for a while after Nick lost interest in it, but it later became some kind of haven for me,” he continued, taking in the blue sky slowly pushing the sun beneath the horizon. “I would stay up here for hours and at one point, it was the only place where it felt like all my problems were…small. Insignificant. I needed this escape from reality.”

“Are you trying to escape from reality right now?” Minho was still looking at him but it didn’t make Newt feel uncomfortable. Quite the opposite, actually.

“No,” Newt said confidently and looked at Minho with a sincere smile. “I just want to share this place with the two most important people in my life.”

They had a wonderful buffet with even more things than Newt had brought on his first date with Thomas. Next to fresh bread, cheese and dips, they also had a variety of other snacks and fruits and soon, most of it had been devoured and the three of them were just lying on the cushions, sprawled out but somehow still snuggled together.

Newt had also brought a thermos bottle with hot tea, prepared for the cold temperatures the spring brought with it once the sun was gone. He had also thought of blankets, that were now lying on top of them, shielding them from the cool air. And despite the temperatures, Newt felt warm, inside and out.

Minho was leaning against him so that their heads rested against each other while Thomas somehow once again ended up sprawled over them, like he always did. His green beanie had been taken off by Newt earlier, who was now running his hand through the brunet hair absently while the fingers of his other hand were interlaced with Minho’s.

“Hey, Min,” Newt whispered, carefully turning his head to the side so that he could look at his boyfriend. “Did you tell Tommy the good news already?”

There came a curious grunt from down where Thomas was lying, covered in a thick blanket with only half of his head sticking out. His forest brown eyes blinked tiredly before he looked up at them, raising his eyebrows expectantly.

“Are you two keeping secrets from me?”, he mumbled, sounding as if he had been just about to fall asleep.

“So many, you don’t even know,” Minho said jokingly and looked at the brunet with a grin.

“Tell mee,” Thomas grouched, pouting his lips slightly. Newt couldn’t help but smile fondly at the adorable sight.

Minho looked over at Newt with a smile before looking down at Thomas again.

“I might have found a job.”

Suddenly, Thomas was fully awake, sitting up quickly and looking at his boyfriend with wide excited eyes.

“You’ve found a job? Where?”

“Well,” Newt began explaining when Minho threw him a meaningful look. “My boss was complaining how we could use some more help in the center and she always speaks highly of you two anyway, so I took my shot and asked her if she would consider employing Minho.”

“And?”, Thomas kept pushing, visibly anticipating the answer.

“I’ll meet her on Monday and we’ll talk everything through,” Minho continued with a smile. “But she already told Newt that I will get the job with a 99% chance and that I can start after I graduated.”

“That’s amazing, Min!” Thomas had the biggest and proudest smile on his face when he cupped Minho’s face and placed a kiss on his lips.

Newt watched them with a fond smile and hummed in surprise when Thomas kissed him as well the next second.

“I will visit you two as often as I can! We can grab lunch together! The place I want to work at would be close to the center anyway, so we could see each other at work every day!” Thomas’ excitement was contagious.

Newt looked at his boyfriends and his chest felt so full, full of admiration and pride for them and full of love.

“I love you,” he whispered, barely audible, but Minho and Thomas both looked at him with wide eyes.

It was still hard for Newt to say these three words after all. And his boyfriends were well aware of that, which was also why they broke into even bigger smiles once they had fully taken them in.

“We love you too,” Minho said fondly and Thomas nodded quickly in agreement.

“Never forget that, okay?”

“I won’t,” Newt said with a soft smile. “I promise.” And it was a promise that he didn’t make only to Thomas and Minho, but also to himself.

They were doing it, they were really doing it. They were planning their future together and that was something Newt had suspected to take him so much longer. He had been scared that whenever Thomas or Minho would propose a bigger change, he would get cold feet again, but it never happened.

Sometimes it was actually him who made the suggestions, like when he told his boyfriends that he would pay for the groceries as well, since he was basically living at their place anyway.

Even though that might not seem like a big deal for most people, it definitely was for Newt. And Thomas and Minho knew and appreciated that.

Newt had finally reached a point where the changes didn’t worry him anymore, but actually excited him. So of course he had agreed immediately when Minho suggested that at this point, they might as well move in together for real. He had said it jokingly, but both Newt and Thomas had thrown him a surprised look, a look that was telling Minho that both of them weren’t opposed to that idea, not at all.

They had found a beautiful flat close to where Thomas and Minho’s old one was, with tall windows and a kitchen that was big enough so that all three of them could move in there at the same time without constantly bumping into each other. The rent wasn’t exactly cheap, but since they divided it by three it was affordable enough.

In a few weeks, they would move out of their old flats and into the new one. Soon, Thomas and Minho would graduate. Minho would start working with Newt, which the blond was more than looking forward to. Thomas would hopefully find a job in his desired field, but given his high grades, Newt had a good feeling about it.

And despite all those things that were going to happen so soon, everything felt so calm and peaceful in that moment, on that rooftop far above the city. At some points, Newt felt like this wasn’t real. And that was actually something he felt quite often. Just a few months ago, he was sure that he could never feel true love again, but here he was. In love with the most generous and kind people he had ever met.

Thinking back to the night he first met Thomas, everything felt even more surreal. He couldn’t even remember why exactly he decided to visit the arcade that night, given that he had never been there before. Sure, Alby had recommended that place to him on several occasions, but he went there alone after all.

It had been nice, he couldn’t deny that. He was able to get his mind free to some extend and he was actually about to leave when he saw Thomas standing in front of that stupid toy machine. No matter where the sudden burst of confidence came from that made Newt make that sassy comment, he was glad it had been there. He remembered how Thomas’ smile had caught his attention immediately and how hard it had been not to stare at his lips the whole time.

And he remembered the disappointment when he went back to the place, hoping that the beautiful brunet would be there again. He remembered trying to get that ugly orange dog out of there and failing several times before Ava joined him with a pitiful look on her face.

Even though Newt wasn’t the kind of person who tended to overshare in front of strangers, somehow Ava’s thin yet sincere smile made him tell her all about his meeting with Thomas and in the end, she helped him get that stupid stuffed animal out of there with the magic of a tiny key that opened the machine.

But well, Thomas didn’t need to know that. Newt would keep telling him that he stole it and he knew that his secret was save with Ava.

It was weird to think of all the things that had needed to happen for them to end up here. For Newt to end up sitting in his favourite place with his favourite people, thinking about their shared future.

Newt was happy. He was happy about having the two people he loved the most by his side. He was happy about how his life had turned around, even after this weird time of unknowing and heartache. After all the things that had gone wrong but lead to the right conclusion after all. He was happy about finally being able to love again. He was simply happy.

And he could tell that Thomas and Minho were as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is it. this is the end of broken promises and how to fix them.  
> i started writing this almost 4 months ago and didn't even think i'd ever finish it, but here we are! this story is so much longer than i could have imagined and the plot actually changed quite a bit from what i had originally planned.
> 
> so thanks to all of you for sticking around on this ride! thank you for leaving kudos and comments and helping me find my lost love for writing again!
> 
> i promise there will be more to come, i have so many new fics and oneshots planned and i'm excited to start something new.
> 
> but before i go: i created a playlist for broken promises that actually follows the story if you lisen to it in the given order! give it a listen if you want to, i will also add a twitter thread where i explain the meaning of each song for this fic:
> 
> the playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2dP6Q3l3r3BZgRTa8wmjTo?si=--ITQNizS22OhaLKVo_v8g  
> the thread: https://twitter.com/nachoupala/status/1352964449100029953?s=20
> 
> and because i can never stop, here's also a pinterest mood board if anyone cares: https://pin.it/6kxbel8
> 
> thank you so much for everything. <3


End file.
